shoppingshoppingshoppingshopping

I have a very unhealthy relationship with shopping. It's kind of like a serial dieter's relationship with food. In order to save money, I will ban myself from all shopping establishments, other than what is absolutely necessary. I'll be doing really well for a long time, and then suddenly, BAM! I realize that since I haven't updated my wardrobe (or decor, or music/movie collection, or kitchen gadgets, etc.) in for-freaking-ever, I am in serious (imaginary) need of new things, and I'll go out and buy everything that I see. So you see, it's kind of like how a dieter deprives them self of some kind of bad-for-you food, and then one day SNAPS and does an all-day binge on that very item. And of course, in the end, I really haven't saved myself any money, and now I have a bunch of guilt on top of it.

Well, my latest shopping moratorium came to a screeching halt on Tuesday when in a fit of the wants, I went over to the mall after work. I still haven't totalled up the damages (fear!!), but let's just say that I ended up with 3 sundresses ... and I wear a dress maybe once a year. The rest of the purchases were maybe a bit more sensible (some tank tops, a pair of shoes for work, a new bathing suit), except I went to Victoria's Secret and bought two things that I only sort of needed, neither of which were in the color that I actually needed. Fail.

Yesterday after work, I decided to try everything on again that I had bought, and see if there was anything I didn't like so much the second day and I could whittle it down and return some things. Only instead I ended up falling more in love with each and every purchase. Another fail.

The highlight of the shopping trip, however, really had nothing to do with any purchases. I'd been wearing my hair up in a ponytail that day, and the combination of the ponytail and the unforgiving lights in bathrooms/dressing rooms made my gray hairs so painfully obvious that I felt about 10 years older. I resolved that very day to make an appointment asap to get my hair colored (I'm thinking a dark auburn, what do you think?). Anyway, after feeling old before my time all day long (Hmmm, I wonder if maybe that had anything to do with the sudden need for shopping?), I went up to the register at a department store for my final purchase of the day. The young girl behind the counter took my U of I Alumni Association credit card and said to me, "I like your card! Do you go to school there?" She will never ever know how happy it made me that she said "do" and not "did."

maybe exercise? no, definitely not.

I should have stayed in bed today. I woke up to the sound of birds chirping ... wait, that sounds too pleasant, let me rephrase ... I woke up to the sound of birds screaming at me. My bedroom faces the courtyard, so I think their squawking gets amplified by a thousand in there. Plus, I swear I heard at LEAST three other peoples' alarm clocks going off before mine did. I don't know if a lot of people sleep with their windows open, or if the walls are just incredibly thin, but whatever it was, it was a little annoying. I seriously considered calling in "sick" but unfortunately, my conscience got the better of me and I bit the bullet and came in to work. I'm already regretting it because the morning is draaaaaagging. At least I have some shopping to look forward to this evening. However, it will be a bittersweet shopping trip because of the particular item I will be searching for ... fat pants! Woo hoo!! I've gained weight and my clothes don't fit!! I'm supposed to be losing weight because I'm getting off one of my medications (Did I mention that? It's good news.), but alas, it has not been happening. Last week I weighed myself and was delighted to see that I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. Lovely. But since then I've lost about 8 of those pounds, which must have been water weight because I don't know how someone can lose 8 pounds so quickly by only slightly changing their eating habits. My body is weird, what can I say. I'm hoping that this is just a temporary setback and that I'll be able to lose the weight pretty easily once I'm off the meds for good and can get back to a normal eating routine, but of course I fear the worst. The worst being that my metabolism is going through that change that happens to every woman at some point around (or before) age 30. It's a scary thought. But hey, even if that's the case, I can still lose the weight, it'll just be a little harder. Anyhoo, maybe I should just focus on the fact that I've never needed fat pants up until this point in my life, and that definitely has to be a good thing.

wrinkles on my forehead and gray hairs on my head

I am getting OLD! I know this because the wrinkles I noticed on my forehead a few years ago are steadily getting more ... wrinkly. And my gray hairs are multiplying like rabbits. Seriously, rabbits. Really horny gray rabbits are growing out of my head. (Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type.)

Now let me ask you this question. Is it ever in good taste to tell someone they've got gray hairs? I mean, I'd say that maybe to a very close relative or something. MAYBE. But don't you think it would be kind of rude if, oh, I don't know, a coworker said that to you? Like, they were talking to you, and suddenly paused, looking at your head, and said, "Hey, do you have gray hairs?" Yeah, well, that happened to me. That happened to me in a meeting at work with a bunch of customers from abroad. I believe I handled it appropriately by saying quite cheerfully, "Yes, I do. Thanks for noticing." The perpetrater was a bit embarrassed. As he should be.