the house

It's been almost 2 years since my Dad retired, and about a year for my Mom. In this time, they have, like most retired couples do, thrown around the idea of selling their too-big, too-hard-to-care-for house, and moving into something smaller. Perhaps a little 2-bedroom house in town with a little yard, or maybe a townhouse in one of those retirement villages, or possibly even a house far away in a much warmer climate, where my Dad's hips and knees won't bother him so much, and he will never have to snow blow another driveway ever again.

In my mind, this possibility has always been a "someday" kind of thing. On some distant day that I don't have to think about, my parents will move out of the house they've lived in for the past 20+ years. There will be a teary goodbye, all the neighbors will come over with their best wishes, and maybe we'll even bury a time capsule. Right next to the circle of cement at the top of the driveway that used to hold up the basketball hoop, but my Dad was never able to dig up because it went too deep, and maybe he didn't want to anyway since it has the hand prints of me and my brother and the paw print of our old dog Emily.

But it seems that "someday" is coming much sooner than I had hoped. They plan to put the house on the market either this Spring or next. They've already had two people come out to give them a recommendation on how much to list it for, and they've begun the staging process.

A few weeks ago, I was devastated to learn that my Dad had gone through half of the enormous bookcase (that he built) in the living room and given a ton of books to Goodwill. I got mad at him for not asking me if I wanted any of them, which I know was completely selfish and bratty. But I think that what I was really feeling was the sentimental attachment to the house and all the objects in it. Even though the books belonged to my parents, I felt like they had just given away a part of my life. The process was starting - the process that would end with them not living there anymore, and me having no reason to drive out to my old neighborhood anymore. The next day, my Dad called me up and told me he was sorry for upsetting me, and that he wanted me to be there when they went through the other half of the bookcase. As guilty and ridiculous as I felt for blowing up at them, I felt happier that they decided to include me in this process of change. And after the second book purge, I came home with a box and a half of great old books that either I'd loved as a kid (the Tolkien Bestiary), sounded like an interesting read (a biography of Jack Kerouac), or were just really cool (a leather-bound Atlas from the WWII era). The other night when I went over to their house for dinner, I found a couple more boxes of old stuff they wanted me to go through before they threw it out, sent it to Goodwill, or put it in the "garage sale" pile. This time it was kids books that had been in a bookcase down in the basement for who knows how long. Even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with them, I decided to keep quite a few of these old books, for various sentimental reasons (one of them was a personalized story about Mother Goose given to me by my Grandma, who passed away last year).

I am going to accumulate more "stuff" during this move than is physically possible to fit into my apartment. I know that my parents will only be taking one living room set with them when they move, so they've offered the second one to me. My Mom has also mentioned giving me the dining room set. And to my shock, they lately offered me the antique record player that we've had for as long as I can remember. Even in the house before this one.

The thing is, I'm not sure if hanging on to things from the house is going to make it easier or harder for me to accept that they're selling it. That house embodies my family. It was my uncle's construction company that built it. When it was just a hole in the ground, my Dad, brother, and I brought a maple sapling that we'd dug out from behind the garage of our old house, and planted it in the far corner of the backyard of the new house. It's a big, healthy, beautiful tree now, but for a long time, you could still see the crooks in the trunk caused by it's rough beginning. During construction, I used to make things out of the scraps of colored wires left on the floor after the electrical work. I remember the first thing I ever put in my bedroom closet - a My Little Pony corral - and I don't think the room even had walls yet. My little brother only remembers living in this house.

Saying goodbye to this place is going to be difficult, to say the least. We built that house in 1987 and it's always been home base for me and my brother. The place we knew we could always come back to. I visit my parents at least once a week, sometimes more, rarely less. I know that that won't change if they move, and my brother and I will be just as welcome in the new place, but will it feel right? Will it be home? And if they do decide to move out of state ... well I just don't know what I'll do on Wednesday nights anymore.

Reflections on 2008

My favorite new things about 2008:

- New Prez Obama!
- New apartment!
- New car!
- New job!
- New babies (NOT MINE!! Shoutouts to Dex and Olivia. Love you kiddos.)

Some fave experiences of 2008:

- Seeing a friend's shocked face at her surprise baby shower
- Cuatro de Mayo at El Mariachi with margaritas the size of your head
- Going to the Sex and the City movie with the girls
- Visiting a friend in the hospital while she was IN LABOR!!
- Being almost able to see Stevie Wonder on the jumbo screen if I stood on my tippy-toes at the Taste of Chicago
- 4th of July barbecue with a good friend's family
- Baton Club - transvestites are awesome
- Getting drenched to the bone while attempting to watch Blues Brothers in the park
- Lollapalooza - and seeing Gogol Bordello twice in one day - insanity, I tell you
- Celebrating a good friend being 5 years cancer-free
- Celebrating my Mom being 5 years cancer-free
- Mars Cheese Castle!!! And Jelly Belly side trip!! And the pyramid house!
- Roller Derby and lots of Jack Daniels
- Having a good old fashioned pajama party for my birthday
- Our fantastically awesome Gogol Bordello Halloween costumes
- Kristkindlmarket on the day after Thanksgiving
- A whole weekend of baking Christmas cookies with my Mom
- My little bro unexpectedly (to me) coming home for the holidays

Some of the not-so-good parts of 2008 that should be reflected upon:

- My Grandma passed away this year - she was 90 and had a long, full life, but she will be missed
- My never-ending health issues
- Car debacle - the century-old water mains of Chicago had it in for me this year
- Recession - even the cost of the washers/dryers in my building went up
- Blagojevich - and we were just getting used to being proud to be from Illinois ...
- Several of my good friends moved away
- Packing up and moving AGAIN - not to mention apartment hunting in sub-zero temperatures

I don't make New Year's resolutions, but if I did I would resolve to:

- Meet a lot of new people
- Think of ways to save money and plan on taking a trip abroad, maybe England or Ireland
- Learn to cook and try new healthy recipes (already started this one and made a positively yummy salmon dish the other day)
- Get my apartment in shape because I plan to stay there for some time

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope 2009 is fantastic, especially to all 2 of you who read this blog! ;)

update of awesomeness

Wow, I really haven't posted in a while, have I? Sorry about that. Been busy with ... stuff.

Well, first and foremost, I'm sure you are all incredibly anxious to see the results of the TYG-Meter. :) The week I kept track, my very repetitive office neighbor used the phrase "There you go" 11 times on Monday, 4 times on Tuesday (v. low), 8 times on Wednesday, 12 times on Thursday, and 7 times on Friday. And that was only when I was within earshot. But I really should have counted them up yesterday because I swear she must have said it 80,000 times all before lunch.


As for my not-so-regular recaps of the lovely and wonderful Project Runway, I will be cancelling this feature. Reasons being a lack of motivation and a general apathy towards this season's contestants. I will say one more thing, though. I think Jerell will be the winner, and he deserves it.


So yeah, in other news, I had a birthday last week. On the day itself, I went to visit the p's and had a nice home-cooked dinner (yummy). My gifts this year were of the domestic goddess variety - a new iron and a new toaster. Sooooo badly needed. Then, the following night, I had some of my girlfriends over for some cocktails and gossip. All while in our PJ's, sitting on pillows on the floor. I wanted to get back to basics this year. And it was awesome.

The weather around here is finally turning Fall-ish. It's sad to see the Summer go, but Fall is my favorite season, so I'm very happy as well. (How I can be happy and sad at the same time is a mystery to me.) This is great sleeping weather, though it does make it a bit harder to get up in the morning. ;) But, I am so looking forward to the trips to pumpkin farms and apple orchards, the delicious scent of the season in the air, breaking out the sweaters, and putting together a Halloween costume.

And the sooner Fall comes, the sooner Christmas is here.

And Christmas is awesome.

wishing I'd listened to myself

As I was walking down the stairs to leave my apartment building and go to work this morning, I had this awful feeling that today was going to be a Very Stressful Day. One of those days where I'd wish I had stayed in bed that morning. And if my inbox at work hadn't been so overflowing, maybe I would have.

I should have listened to my gut.

As if my current cartastrophies, apartmentastrophies and medicatastrophies weren't enough, I now believe that the world has gone crazy in its entirety. I've spent the whole day dealing with crazy people, ignorant people, confusing people, pushy people, and the occasional very nice person (I must be honest).

I really wish I could say that there was a full moon, but alas. People ARE crazy and they have no excuse.

starting over again

Once again, I am here to write my yearly wrap-up and wish everyone who reads this a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year. Even though I may not be the best at keeping in touch with people, I may not be winning any "World's Best Friend" awards, and I tend to stick my foot in my mouth more often than both my foot and my mouth are comfortable with, I sincerely hope that everyone is doing well and continues to do well (better, even!) as we enter into this new year.

So.

2007 was ... it was ... well, it's over, anyway. Around this time last year I was saying goodbye and good riddance to a nasty 2006 and hoping that 2007 would bring me the happiness I was so desperately in search of. In retrospect, I think I was putting unrealistic expectations on the poor year and there was no way it could live up to them. I was like one of those parents who pressure the younger kids to be just like their overachieving older siblings. "2007, why can't you be more like 2001? Look what 2001 accomplished in only a year? Or 1997? 1997 was so successful. Even 2004 pulled it out in the end! You need to get your ass in gear, son!" Poor 2007 just cracked under the pressure.

It started out all well and good. I was planning on moving into a place of my own, I was going to start a new medication that sounded very promising, I was looking forward to making some positive changes. And I tried, I really did. But things just seemed to fall short of my expectations left and right.

I did move into a modest one-bedroom apartment in Ravenswood. And I was comfortable there for a few months until all of the little inconveniences of the place really started to grate on my nerves. I realized that while I loved the neighborhood and the proximity to several of my friends, I hated (HATED!) the apartment itself. I won't bore you with details of why, exactly, it is so hated, but I have once again decided to move. Even though that might mean I have to drop my couch over the balcony to its death, it will be worth it to be out of the place that has sucked away all of my motivation and will to live. (Drama, anyone?)

Oh, and drama there was! A "situation" with a so-called friend of mine led to some drama that it seemed I was never there to witness. I discovered with little uncertainty that someone with whom I had struggled over several years to develop a friendship, actually thought very little of me and she decided to take the coward's approach to communicating this fact. She managed to single me out among a group of equals and make it known that I was the expendable one, and she didn't even have to say a word to me. The second-hand drama came into play when a very good friend of mine took my side and spoke for me when I wasn't there to do it myself. The only resolution to this problem, it seemed, was in me removing myself from the situation, which I did happily. Not all that glitters is gold, or so they say.

On the disease front, I started a new medicine, Enbrel, which worked splendidly for quite some time. Until it didn't. And the Pain has returned. I am still taking the Enbrel injections, which do the lion's share of the work, but I'm also now back on a small dose of Prednisone, and still take ibuprofen daily. I guess you could say I'm "managing" it, because instead of the disease controlling me, I feel like I am in control of the disease. But in a perfect world (hah!!), Enbrel would be enough, ibuprofen would just be for headaches, and I wouldn't have to see another bottle of Prednisone ever again!

Oh, and speaking of headaches ...

The crowning glory of 2007, one of the absolute worst things I have ever gone through in my life, The Apocalyptic Brain-Explosions of June '07!!! Since discussing this particular period of time tends to put me into a very agitated state, I am going to keep this short and sweet. Worst pain I've ever felt. Averaged every-other-day for 2-3 weeks in June. Missed 4 days of work. One trip to the ER, and one to an unsympathetic GP. Bottles of meds. Not a day has gone by since then that I haven't feared having another one of these attacks. And I still don't understand them. No one seems to have any answers.

So that's that. There's all the bad stuff in a few paragraphs. It feels good to get it out. It's taken a toll on me and it's sometimes a struggle to keep myself from getting buried under all the negative emotions. All the "why me"s and the "when will things get better"s and the "when's my turn"s. But I don't want you to think that this year has been all doom and gloom. And I personally don't want to forget all of the really great and amazing and wonderful things that have happened this year as well. So let's move on to the good stuff.

My good friend Kristi had a little baby girl this year. She is the prettiest thing I've ever seen. And shortly after that, I was given the honor of becoming the Godmother of this beautiful little girl. I know in this day and age, that doesn't mean very much, but it means a heckuva lot to me. Call me old-fashioned. :) (See, I'm even using smileys!) My good friend Nora also found out this year that she is going to be a mommy. She and her husband are 'spectin' their first bundle of joy in February, and I can't wait to see his adorable face. And this summer, my friend Mo got married and I was there to see that happen as well. I am so happy for her and her new family.

I took a most excellent trip to Miami early this year (man, it seems like so long ago!), which was I think the highlight of the year. I was so needing that trip, and looking back on it now still makes me smile and wish I was still there. Especially now that it's negative three billion degrees outside.

And Harry Potter! This was a banner year for Mr. Potter (and Ms. Rowling), what with the final book coming out, and the 5th movie in the series. Both of which were excellent.

And, of course, how can I forget my ten year high school class reunion? I did write a whole post about it after all. Just so you won't forget it either. ;)

Both of my parents retired this year, which is great for them. But it also means I probably won't be seeing as much of them as I was before. I won't get to see my dad at work every day anymore. And my weekly visits won't even be as regular since they plan to spend a lot of time travelling now that they have so much free time. Good for them. All I can say is, I'm very jealous.

So 2007 definitely had some warm-fuzzy moments. And of course it is these that make it all worthwhile.

So in the spirit of not drawing this entry out any further, I say here's to 2008 and all the warm-fuzzies we can handle before we throw up from all the warmth and fuzziness. However, if 2008 decides it wants to drop out of college and move to Portland to sell hand-knitted arm-warmers, that's cool too.

blahg

I know I haven't been so good about updating this thing lately, and I'm trying to decide what direction I want it to go in (much like the rest of my life). But in the meantime, here is some stuff.

1. My brother is coming to visit! And he will be staying with me for some time over the length of his visit. I am really excited. If you didn't know, my little bro lives in Seattle and I really only get to see him on the holidays. Sometimes in the summer, too, if I'm lucky. I am a very bad sister in that I have never gone out there to visit him, but you see, vacations are hard because they cost money and time, neither of which I have, and blah blah blah. Whatever. He's coming for Thanksgiving and I'm happy. I am going to try to arrange a viewing (hee hee) ... I mean, I am going to try and get some people together to hang out, meet my bro, or catch up if you already know him, either this weekend, or the next. So if you're around and feel like meeting the little butthead, I'd love to see ya.

2. We have some new people at work! And one of them stole my name! It's not often that I meet someone with the same name as me. And it's not like it's an odd or unusual name, it's just not incredibly common. Most people only know one or two, maybe three of me. And let me tell ya, it's really strange getting used to NOT reacting every time I hear someone say my name. Really strange. AND, the other new person has the same name as my Mom. Funny, huh? But on the plus side, getting these new people is going to make my workload (and the workload of everyone in the group) much more manageable. Hooray for that.

3. I am back on Prednisone. I have not been feeling so well the last few months again, and after a visit with my Rheumatologist on Monday, we decided to supplement the Enbrel with a low dose of Prednisone to see if that would kick this pain in the butt. I don't anticipate that the low dose will make me puffy, or give me the appetite of a growing teenage boy, so that is a good thing. The test now will be to see if the pain will subside and I will feel normal again. So far it's been about three days, and I do feel better in a general way, but the pain is not gone. It seems to be getting a little better each day, though, so we'll see.

4. Project Runway is back on!! I don't think I will provide a weekly commentary like I did last season (but maybe I will ...), but here are my thoughts on this new season and the contestants. I thought the first challenge was lame compared to in past seasons. Just because you have to run across a lawn and grab your fabric from some tents before someone else gets what you want does not make it a real design challenge. They had complete creative freedom! In my opinion, that's not a great way to kick off the season. But whatever. I had the bottom three picked out before they'd even started making their clothing. I could tell by personalities alone who was not going to make the cut. Simone didn't stand out as having a signature style, and those types never last long (she was the first one eliminated). Elisa was just ... odd, and I'm not sure the world is ready for her contributions. And Ricky is far too emotional ("It's not a game, it's my liiiiiiiife ..."). He will inevitably crack under the pressure. Those were the three I had tagged as the first to go, and they turned out to be the worst of the bunch in the first challenge. Go me. Anyway, as for the rest of them, Rami (the challenge winner) has me intrigued, though it almost doesn't seem fair as he's already had so much experience. And I didn't think his dress was NEARLY as wonderful as the judges did. I really like Kit and Sweet P and Carmen. I thought it was funny that Kevin had to make a point of telling America he was straight. :) I desperately wanted to shave Christian's head, and I think his god complex will eventually get the better of him (I hope). And the rest of them really didn't stand out to me. I think this season will be all about the women designers. In my opinion, those are the ones to watch. So watch!

Okay that is all. More later perhaps?

welcome class of '97

Saturday started off like any other day. I was lazy and took my time showering, and I spent the majority of the day in my bathrobe. I pampered myself a little bit, due to the nature of the upcoming evening. I shaved my legs, put on some nice-smelling lotion, and painted my fingers and toes. Bright red. Cause that was the mood I was in. And it would look nice with my outfit. I watched a little TV, had a late lunch, and made the final choice as to what I'd be wearing. Black. It somehow seemed appropriate. After putting together all the finishing touches, I was exhausted. But no rest for the weary. The night had not yet begun. I threw my camera in my purse and grabbed my overnight bag, and I was on my way to pick up J. She looked lovely in a wrap-around dress, also black, and metallic-colored flats due to the brace on her knee. After getting settled in my car, we made our way out to the burbs. One stop to pick up the other J, we'll call her J2, who was wearing black also. I either made the right decision in my choice of wardrobe, or the wrong one, depending on how much I wanted to stand out from the crowd. We finally reached our first destination of the night, Pub 222 in the home burb, where we met up with K and C, and a classmate named A who we hadn't seen in 10 years (duh). After a quick pre-party drink at the Pub, we made our way to the main event.


My Ten Year High School Reunion.


Driving up to the banquet hall, we could already tell that the location was going to leave a lot to be desired. But this was not so important, as we were there to see the people. We walked into the entry hall, were given our name tags and memory books, and it began. Walking into that room filled with familiar faces, people I hadn't seen in so long, people who I wasn't sure I even had anything to say to, it hit me like a wall. It was surreal. The turnout was not even close to half our graduating class, but still, the mass of faces floating before me brought back a rush of old memories. I was at a school dance again. And there were still cliques. Though in retrospect, perhaps the people I viewed as being in cliques were merely feeling the same anxieties as the rest of us and preferred to stick with the people they knew best. Maybe they weren't cliques so much as groups of friends. Maybe there was someone there who saw my group of friends as a clique. One of the first people to come up and talk to me was P. P was a girl who I knew in HS and was friendly to, though she was a bit of a charity case. I wouldn't say we were friends per se, but like I said, we were friendly. After we exchanged the initial pleasantries, she introduced me to her husband as "One of the few people in high school who I actually hung out with." I don't really remember any "hanging out" but in a weird way, I was flattered. However, I had to be the one to break it to her that her HS crush, who was not in attendance, was married. Not that it mattered, she being married herself, but still. Nobody likes to hear that. I spoke to several people throughout the night who I was really glad to reconnect with. R was a girl I'd known since 4th grade when we were in Girl Scouts together. She is doing well and just got married a few months ago. J3 was a very nice girl who lived nearby me in HS, and who is now married with twin boys born this past February. It was great to see that K, another old girl scout friend, hadn't changed at all since high school. E looked the same as he did in HS (and college), but he had come out of his shell quite a bit, which was good to see. And the theatre people, J4, W, M and J5, it made me really happy to see them there, though I wished more of those folks had shown up. T (and C), A2, T2, T3 (and L) - it was great to hang out with them, though I had never lost touch with them to begin with. And then there was B. B was my crush all throughout senior year. When I first saw that he was there, it was like I was in high school all over again. I wanted to go up and talk to him, but I was nervous, just like I used to get all those years ago. I didn't know how to do it. Did I walk right up to him and start talking? Or did I casually make my way over there, chat with some people surrounding him until I caught his eye? It turned out that I didn't need to do anything at all. I was walking past where he was standing, on my way to grab my camera, when he made an odd movement and brushed my arm. He turned to see who was there, and voila, instant conversation. We talked about where we lived and worked, and what we thought about the turnout at the reunion. He mentioned his concern that a lot of people would be all "domesticated" while he wasn't yet. We discussed the need to have roots, and the fact that our parents all still lived in the town we grew up in. We talked about the one date we had had in high school, which happened to be the shining moment of my senior year (though I'm not sure he knew that). It was a nice conversation. And man, that guy is just as gorgeous as I remember. :) You know, I could reflect on our conversation all day, but I'm sure that would be a deathly bore to anyone reading this, so I'll move on. Prior to that night, I was wondering what kind of music would be played, and it ended up being ... interesting. The beginning of the night was all music from the 90's, when we were in school. And yeah, it was all pretty bad. Then they switched to dance music ... and it continued to be pretty bad. But I had a good time dancing anyway, and after my three whiskey-and-cokes it became that much more fun. The night began to wind down and we tried to figure out where to go afterwards. T2 mentioned a party (which B and his friends were going to as well). Since I never got invited to those parties in high school, this sounded like a swell plan to me, so I followed T2 and E up to the neighborhood to try and find the house (nobody seemed to have an address). After a futile search, we gave up and called a friend who was at a bar, and went to meet him. Turned out the party must have been nonexistent, because all of the people who were supposedly going ended up at this bar instead. Chatting with E and T2 at the bar was a nice end to the evening. At the relatively decent hour of 1:15 a.m. I packed up and made my way to my parents house to crash in my old bedroom, in my old bed. It seemed an appropriate end to an evening filled with nostalgia.



The main conclusion I drew from this evening was that aside from a couple of individuals, I already keep in touch with the people who I cared most about in high school. The majority of the people at the reunion, for me, it was enough just to see their faces again. I didn't even need to say anything to them. I mentioned in a previous post how I saw this reunion as an epilogue to my time in high school, and it really was. And now that it's over, the credits are rolling, and I can leave it all behind.

and today

The best part of today:

I was just down at the ATM in our building, which is next to one of the cafeterias. The cafeteria is closed at this time, but the door was open and I happened to overhear somebody singing a really pretty song in Spanish. At first I thought it was the TV in there, so I popped my head in the door. Then I realized it was the man who was cleaning up in the kitchen, just singing to himself. He didn't see me, so I stopped and listened for a minute or two. He was very good!

good things, continued

Catching up ...

Best thing about last Thursday: I had ordered some caramel apples from a coworker and they were delivered on Thursday. Yummy.

Best thing about last Friday: It's a tie!! One would be the fashion show at work, which one of my coworkers emceed. T'other would be the live band karaoke at Pontiac Cafe with my friends (Before I got light-headed and had to go home, that is. And being up sick all night was no picnic, either.)

Best thing about Saturday: Polishing off another couple chapters in my reread of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Best thing about Sunday: Ice Cream sundaes at Margie's Candies with a good friend.

Best thing about Monday: I stayed home sick, so I popped in a DVD of the Dick van Dyke Show and watched all 6 episodes in one sitting. I love classic TV.

not liking people today

It seems like everyone is irritating me today. I am trying not to show it, but I just wanna go home. People who I've been talking to at work only have bad things to say (mostly "Here's one more thing for you to do because I don't want to do it."). And even people who aren't talking to me are being annoying. I overheard a manager say to one of his subordinates that he should check with him before he prints anything. Apparently, he thinks PRINTING is something worthy of micro-management. The guy sighed in frustration once the manager had left, and I FELT HIS PAIN!!

I swear, this job is getting to me. My gray hairs are OUT OF CONTROL!

I did, however, have a very nice weekend. Despite having to go into work on Friday, my day off, and not being able to complete either of the two things I went in specifically to do, the rest of the weekend was pretty fab. Some friends called me up on Saturday and we went out to see Superbad, which was hilarious! Then I went to a b-day party for a work friend. It was nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in a while, and I learned that a friend had just gotten engaged!! Then on Sunday I got a call from another friend and we went to see the movie Once, which was fantastic! I need to buy that music, like NOW!! And then I went to some friends' apartment for a home cooked early birthday dinner for myself, which was also wonderful. At the end of the night, I totally kicked their butts playing the Scene-It Friends edition! Yeah!!

So it was a good weekend. Maybe I'm just bitter that it's Monday.

new car and stuff

In case you didn't get my very excited text this weekend, I bought a new car! It's not new-new, but it's new to me. A 2005 Suzuki Reno hatchback, and it's orange. Yes, orange. I saw it on Carmax.com, fell in love, and went straight away to buy it. It's the only time in my life I haven't been waffly about buying a new car, so I decided I'd best jump on it and get it before I began to doubt myself. And so far, I'm glad I did. Aside from a few minor details (speakers are iffy; it's got buttons on the steering wheel to control the radio, which just get in my way; not sure about the gas mileage) I like it a lot. It's quiet. It's a manual and it handles pretty similar to my old Civic, so it's easy (for me) to drive. It's orange. It doesn't make funny noises. It has 4 doors. It's orange. The windshield wipers work properly without the lever being tied to my I-Pass (don't ask). It's got a CD player. It's orange. It has power steering, locks and windows. Did I mention it's orange? If you hadn't guessed, that's my favorite feature. I was insistent upon getting a car in a bright color because of a bad prior experience in a white car. I totalled my old Metro in 2001 when an enormous Caddy pulled out in front of me because he didn't see me. And I am convinced that he didn't see me because my car was white and blended in (relatively speaking) to the overcast white sky behind me. An orange car (or a red one, like my Civic) is a lot harder to miss.

So yeah. I like it.

Now I am thinking about all these other changes I want to make. I need to get my hair cut, and I am going to color it as well, to cover all the nasty grays that this job has given me. Hee. Any color suggestions? I'd consider purple if it weren't for the very conservative nature of my workplace. Also, when my lease is up, I don't think I'm going to renew. I like the neighborhood I'm in, but I have grown quite disillusioned with the apartment itself. The longer I live there, the more I feel like it's a crap hole. I don't want to live in a crap hole. Would you? Lastly (and this is slightly irrelevant, but I wanted to mention it anyway), I have joined Facebook after I received an invitation from a friend, and I'm kind of enjoying it! Maybe even more than MySpace! That may be in part due to the fact that it's not blocked at work, whereas MySpace is. I expected to find most of the same people who I've found on MySpace, since the people who are interested in those sorts of sites tend to overlap. But I have been pleasantly surprised to find a LOT of other different people! People who I am very happy to reconnect with. People who I wouldn't expect to be on Facebook, but I'm sure glad they are. And lastly (okay, the last "lastly" was a bit premature), I am really looking forward to my high school reunion.

That is all.

tea and strumpets

It's funny how some people in your life can cause you so much pain and sleepless nights, while others can completely make your day with the simplest of things, like a ridiculous joke quoted from a movie (see title). I feel like, the more time that goes by, the more aware I become of the effects people in my life have on me. I am slowly becoming better equipped to recognize people who are negative influences, and more importantly, people who I should be sure to keep around.

I love my friends. And chances are, if you're reading this, I count you among them. Unless of course, you just stumbled in here by accident, in which case I say "Welcome! Have a look around. Would you like some lemonade?" The thing about my friends is that they are all very different. I consider myself lucky that I never belonged to any sort of "clique," which has enabled me to make friends with (and stay friends with) all different sorts of people. And those friends who I've held onto are still in my life because they have made a difference in it. A positive difference.

However, in the course of my dealings with friends, I've occasionally come across ... well ... a rotten banana (I don't know why I chose that description - I just felt like calling someone a rotten banana.). I would consider a rotten banana to be someone who I thought was a friend, but turned out to be otherwise. Rotten bananas can come in many varieties, but I think that the worst kind is the one who seems to be, or pretends to be your friend, but in actuality has no respect for you or your feelings. I've written about these kinds of people before (see this post), and my feelings about them have not changed. There is really nothing you can do about these people other than to do what you can to remove them from your sphere of influence. Even if you try to make them aware of how they've hurt you, you're never going to be able to change how they feel about you. And if you want my opinion, you shouldn't even try. In order to maintain your sanity, just let them go. Let them be who they are, and don't let them influence who you are. But what am I preaching for? That wasn't the intent of this post.

What I was meaning to write about was how in the past few days, I have had conversations and meetings with friends that have ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. I had a perfectly lovely afternoon with a very good friend, wherein my suspicions were confirmed that another person did not consider me a friend at all. (This did not ruin the lovely afternoon - how could it have, when the afternoon included a girl I've known forever, adorable children, gelato, and a butterfly that landed on my knee - but it did, unfortunately, keep me up that night.) I was kept awake that night thinking about someone who I later decided did not deserve any more consideration from me. She wasn't worth it. And then the next day, my worries evaporated during lunch with another good friend, who effortlessly cheered me up with the aforementioned strumpets. It's funny how you can suddenly be crystal clear about who your real friends are.

p.s. I promise the next post from me won't be nearly as serious. I guess I've just been thinking a lot about "stuff" lately, which tends to get me in trouble. :)

p.p.s. Anybody have any good banana bread recipes??

class of '97

I can't believe it's been ten years.

It's funny how things can end up being so different than you think they're going to be. Ten years ago, I was graduating from high school. I was getting ready to go to college and the world was my oyster. I felt like my life was finally starting. I was independent in a way I'd never been before. Though I still depended on my parents for tuition, guidance, and a place to live during holidays, I felt like I was finally able to make my own decisions, which is a big step in a person's life. I envisioned myself graduating from college and taking the world by storm. I was going to make movies, write books, have a family, make a lot of money and live in a big house in California. A house with a pool! Ten years sounded like such a long time - plenty of time to accomplish my goals. I figured that by the time my ten-year high school reunion came around, I'd be exactly where I wanted to be. I'd be able to walk into the room, completely satisfied with the life I was living, and the person I'd become. Not to mention, I'd be thin, stylish, and beautiful, with great hair.

This is the way an 18-year-old thinks about the future. Of course it was all about me. I was invincible. But instead of accomplishing all my goals by the age of 28, what actually happened over those ten years was ... I grew up.

I went through what I imagine every person goes through at that time in their life. Unless, of course, they're lucky enough to have a humongous trust fund, or move in the same circles as the people with power. But even Paris Hilton gets a dose of reality from time to time. :) My reality was that there were extenuating circumstances that were going to prevent me from reaching my goals, no matter how hard I tried to pretend they didn't exist. Contrary to what I believed, I was NOT, in fact, invincible. And I needed a steady paycheck. So instead of becoming the high roller I always thought I'd be, I became ... well ... myself. I have a modest job in the suburbs, with a modest paycheck, and I live in a small, one-bedroom apartment on the North side of Chicago. I'm not married, and I have no kids, but I've always got a friend when I need one.

Making the realization that I was not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life was bittersweet. I could acknowledge the fact that my goals were unrealistic, but I still felt a little sad that I hadn't met them. Everyone likes to feel that they could be the exception to the rule. I felt like an exceptional teenager, so I was completely confident that I'd be an exceptional adult. Instead, I've turned out to be closer to average. At least by all outward appearances. But let me make this point very clear - there is nothing wrong with being average if you're happy where you are. And though I still feel like I am exceptional and have some great things in store for me in this life, I am, for the most part, happy with the way things are right now.

As you may have guessed, the source of these reflections was the announcement of my upcoming high school reunion. I am actually really excited about it, despite the fact that I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be. But I am a little disappointed, too. When I was a senior in high school, my friends and I would speculate about what our reunion would be like - who would be married with kids, who would be rich and successful, who would still be living at home and working in the fast food industry. It was fun for us to try and guess how people would turn out. I assumed, in a very life-imitating-the-movies kind of way, that when the reunion finally did roll around, all my friends and I would gather together once more to see how close our predictions were, to reconnect with people we'd lost touch with, and to bring our high school experience full circle. I saw the reunion as a kind of epilogue to my teenage years. But it is slowly dawning on me that I may have been the only one who felt this way. I don't know how many conversations I have had with old classmates recently that included the phrase "Hell, no!" in reference to the class reunion. And this makes me sad. Many have previous commitments, such as weddings, etc., which is completely understandable, but I am shocked by the number of people who just plain don't want to go. Sure, those years are always awkward, they're maybe not the most fun, and I certainly wouldn't want to go back and relive any of them, but what's the harm in looking back and remembering? Plus, those years are cake compared to what comes after. The "real world" is so much more harsh than the sheltered life of a high school kid. But, as always, maybe that's just my own experience talking. I enjoyed high school - I had nothing to complain about other than "stupid boys" - and I think it would be fun to take a look back and see how much we have all grown since then. Not to sound cheesy or anything, but I like to remember the good times I had in high school, and forget about the bad.

It was sad to realize that not everyone feels the way I do about this upcoming reunion. It was even sadder when the thought occurred to me that the reunion planners were perhaps not trying very hard to find people. I was amazed by how many people hadn't heard about it until I told them. So I am once again making the discovery that the world is not as rosy as I had at one time thought it was. My reunion will not be attended by all of the people who I'd like to reconnect with, simply because I want them to be there. It may not even be attended by a single one of my friends - even the ones I still see on a regular basis. Much like my life over the past 10 years, it is just not going to be how I thought it would be. It couldn't possibly live up to my over-high expectations anyway.

However, that doesn't mean I won't go. And that doesn't mean I won't enjoy myself immensely. I've got to keep the faith that it will still be an event worth attending. I mean, it only happens once. And Hell, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

no appropriate title comes to mind

Feeling better about stuff today. I've been pretty busy the last couple days, so maybe that has something to do with it. I think I get in trouble when I have nothing to do and am left to my own devices ... though sometimes that's my favorite way to be. Go figure.

Monday I had a doctor's appointment, and we're going to continue lowering my Prednisone dose since I've been doing so well with the Enbrel. Yay me! So hopefully I'll be back to my normal-faced self very soon! I should be completely off it in 6-9 weeks, depending on how I do my taper - I've been given a bit of flexibility since I know my body better than any doctor ever could. Plus, I'm putting myself on a diet, and I MIGHT even start EXERCISING!! OMG, what is the world coming to??!! And in a fit of self-improvement energy, I bought some moisturizer with a touch of self-tanner in it so I don't look like a glass of skim milk this summer (complete with slight bluishness). My goal is to look smokin' hot by my 10 year HS reunion, whenever that decides to be. Don't exactly know why I want to look good for those people, but it never hurts to put your best foot forward. And any motivation is better than none at all, right? RIGHT?

After the appointment I took an unplanned trip to Trader Joe's since I was passing by, and I bought a basket full of yummy treats - mostly healthy, too! For some reason, this shopping made me feel incredibly happy. I'd been hankering for some TJ's goodies.

Yesterday I had to work for 10 hours (long story), so afterwards, instead of fighting the nasty rush-hour traffic, I went to IKEA and browsed for a while (bought some new sheets, and a pot for a plant I want to transplant). Got a couple ideas for some things I might buy for the apartment, but I didn't want to make any major purchases until I did a bit of comparison shopping and visualizing things in the actual space. I recently purchased some items online, one of which has been delivered and is sitting happily in its spot in my living room - a shoji screen! This is serving the dual purpose of dividing the space into a living room and dining area, while also hiding the ugly cords and wires behind the desk that my TV/DVD etc. are on. I also ordered a rug for the living room that is being delivered on Friday. I'm TOTALLY excited to see how that will look in the room, and even more excited to get rid of the abomination (hesitate to even call it a rug) that is in there now. So now my goals are thus: 1) find a trunk/chest for my bedroom - I'm having storage issues and need a place for purses, belts and other accessories, but also want something that will be attractive and not look all "storage-y" (read: nothing plastic). I'm currently looking at one online (here's the link - I like the nutmeg. Opinions?), and I saw one at IKEA that costs considerably less, but has a more rugged look that I'm not sure if I like as much. Oh look, here's a link to that one, too! These were also neat (they had a larger size at the store that doesn't seem to be online), but I 'd definitely need two and I'm not sure they're ideal. 2) I need some lamps for the living room. I saw this and this at IKEA, but I swear everyone and their brother owns these lamps, and do I want to be a follower? I think not. The only benefit is I'd be able to get these shades, which match the old rug I don't have anymore and LOVED. 'Course I could get the shades with any lamp, really, couldn't I? 3) I need a microwave cart. I think I've firmly decided on the one at Target, so I just have to go pick one up ... unless something better comes along between now and whenever I get my butt over there to buy it. I guess that's not so firm, is it? 4) I'd also like to get a baker's rack for the kitchen, but I have a dilemma here too. I really like this one, but it's a bit expensive, and the wood won't really match the microwave cart (not that that's incredibly important, but I don't want it to look ridiculous sitting next to something so obviously mismatched). This one is a better price, it matches better, and the style is slowly growing on me, but it's out of stock and who knows when it will be back in. This one - same deal. My other option is the one from Target that will match for sure, but I don't particularly care for, looks-wise. Which is also something that everybody and their brother owns. Hey, I just noticed ALL THREE of the other racks on the Target site! Hmmmm ...

MAN, can I ramble!!

Anyhoo, yeah, I've completely lost the point of this post. Um, I guess I'm just saying that I've been busy. Or something. Tonight I'm going out with some gal pals (I hate that phrase, I can't believe I just used it!!!) for some much-needed socialization, so I'm happy about that. And tomorrow is Thursday and I have Friday off! Woo hoo!!

OH! About the dude with the problem and the cats (he'd still have a problem even without the "cat problem"), I've come to the realization that in addition to his lack of a conscience, he's a person who I'd do best to avoid if I don't want an argument. My professional opinion (if I was in the psychology profession, that is) is that he has some deep-seated need to prove himself, and is therefore very argumentative, challenges and/or disagrees with damn near everything I say, and lives in a fantasy world where anything that he has not personally experienced cannot possibly be true. Case in point: I was sharing some experiences a while back about when I was sick as a kid and spent a lot of time in the hospital. Obviously, this was a harrowing experience for me, as it would be for anyone, and I was talking about the different emotions I went through during this time. At every turn, his response was, "Why did you fee like that? I'd think you'd feel more this way. I wouldn't have let that get to me. Why did that bother you? I would have been more like this." Well, excuse me, but until you've been a 12-year-old girl who has an unnamed disease giving her pain and swelling in her neck and weighs 76 pounds because she is unable to eat due to the nausea, and has no idea what's causing it or whether or not it's going to kill her, you have no right to tell me how I should and should not feel. But that's just one of my issues with this guy. I'd just rather I never had to see him again.

Okay, that's enough. I think I should do some work now, no?

bloggity bloo

I know I haven't written in a while, but I guarantee you I am alive. At the moment. And I have moved!! Yay!! I am currently living amongst a mess of boxes and bags, the contents of which are unknown and somewhat frightening to me. I am afraid of my own stuff. But I am learning to face my fears and little by little, things are falling into place. Well, they're not so much falling as I am putting them there. I moved in on Sunday, and did just the bare minimum on that day so that I could have a place to sleep and shower and make it to work in one piece on Monday. Then after work Monday, I made the very exciting trip to Target to get all the cleaning supplies and other essentials that I did not have so that I would feel a bit more confident in the cleanliness of the new place. I attempted to restrict myself to the bare-bones list I had made so that I did not go crazy in Le Tar-gee like I usually do and end up with $400 worth of stuff I have no room for, and aside from a couple unplanned baking pan and cutting board purchases, I did pretty well. Go me. So I was able to go home after that and clean the floors, the one thing that had been bothering me since I set foot inside the place. You know, supposedly they clean apartments between tenants, but who really knows how good a job they do? To me, it felt dirty, so I cleaned it. And that's pretty much all I had the energy to do on that day. Tuesday, I decided to tackle the kitchen, and DID I EVER! I have never in my life seen cabinets in such a state of disgustingness. They were ... well ... greasy. And gross. But now they're clean and sparkly!! Yay! On Wednesday, I slept. Seriously. I got home around 4:30, collapsed on my bed for two hours, got up to watch some TV and eat a little somethin', then went to bed. It was glorious. Yesterday, I regained a bit of my motivation and got my kitchen organized. As in, I PUT STUFF IN THE CABINETS. This was such a huge turning point for me, you have no idea! I've been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of closet space I have in this new place (not so much kitchen cabinet space, but whatever), and yet, I've been afraid to put things in those closets! I mean, what if I choose the wrong things? What if I choose the wrong closets for those things? What if I put something short in a tall space, and then don't have room for something tall in a short space? WHAT IF I DO IT WRONG??!! And then I got it. There is no wrong answer. This is MY apartment, I can put things where ever I want! And ... ummm ... move them if I do it wrong. :) But seriously, actually emptying boxes and getting rid of some of the clutter I've been living with was one of the best feelings in the world. And seeing my own things in my new kitchen felt pretty damn good too.

So my job for tonight and the rest of the weekend is to continue with my unpacking bonanza, and get things in order in the bedroom and the living room. I still have a few pieces of furniture I need to purchase in order to make this completely possible (like a shelving unit for the bathroom, and microwave cart and/or bakers rack for the kitchen), but I'm gradually starting to see things come together, which makes me happy. Tomorrow I have to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond to get a shower gift for a friend of mine who is getting married this summer, and I have the tiniest feeling (meaning a MASSIVE feeling) that I am going to come home with some of that "Beyond" for myself. AND THEN??!! First grocery shopping trip for the new apartment!! Oh joyous day!! :)

one woman's treasure

Packing for this move has been interesting. Well, actually, I haven't done all that much yet, which scares me because it's happening in just over two weeks! Yikes! But anyway, the packing I HAVE done has been interesting. Last night, I went through this box of junk that had been sitting in the corner of my bedroom, untouched, since I moved in two years ago. I figured I'd be able to go through it and throw away most of it since I obviously hadn't needed it at all in two years. I was wrong. I ended up finding some precious treasures that I just had to hold on to. For example, I found a 15-page letter that I wrote to someone and never sent. I found the beginning of a story I'd begun to write, along with various scraps of paper with notes written on them (this was a story that I actually still believe in after all this time - unusual for me). I found many many many ideas I'd written down for stories and/or movies. I found a folder full of resumes and cover letters I'd sent out for jobs I didn't get. I found all my old Chicago film directories with notes and papers stuck in at random places. I found a folder full of memorabilia from my theatre days. I found a notebook that contained notes on the NewsMags I created for StarCourse in college, as well as a page of notes I'd taken about a cast conversation while I was subbing for a director on "The Real World" (both in the same notebook). And I actually found some things I'd been looking for, like information on my renter's insurance policy.

I spent two hours last night looking through a box of crap that I thought I'd just be able to throw away, and I actually had fun doing it. It was cool. However, if I keep it up, this packing thing is going to take forever!!

a.d.d.

Oh, stuff. So much stuff. I really want to write about things that are happening, or have happened lately, like my awesome trip to Miami and all the cool people we met down there, but at the moment, I don't have the concentration to stay on one topic for long enough to do it justice ... so here's some other random crap.

I've got this idea for a new little art project that I saw on a blog I read yesterday - I guess that means it's not really MY idea, but I'm taking what he did and modifying it a bit, so I'm MAKING it mine. :) I can't wait to start it! And who knows? Maybe somebody I know might be getting it as a gift some time in the near future ...

As you may or may not know, I am moving out of my apartment when the lease is up at the end of March, so I'm all full of emotion because of that. I love the apartment and the roomie, but I've always wanted to try living on my own, and I figure if I don't do it sooner, rather than later, I may never get the chance! So this is the time. I'm kind of looking forward to looking at new places, and I made an appointment with Apartment People for this Saturday (that's who we found our current apartment through, and it was a good experience), so perhaps I will come out of that with a new place lined up! Yippee!

I've been having this sort of weird, disconnected, slightly depressed feeling lately that I just can't explain. It might be a combination of winter blues, and the fact that I haven't seen much of my friends for a while (save for the two I went to Miami with). I am trying to remedy that by calling people up, sending e-mails and text messages, and trying to just be more involved in my own life, and not let this INSANELY cold weather get me down too much. I did not even leave my apartment this weekend unless I absolutely had to (which I did to go to the grocery store and a Super Bowl party), and I think maybe that was a mistake. Hibernating does not help one get out of a funk, it just buries one deeper. But damn, it's cold!!

And ... ummm ... I won't even mention the Super Bowl (whoops, did it anyway) because I don't want to make anyone cry. Except Rex Grossman. But my guess is he's already crying.

Well, that's all I got. I'll post another time with my Miami trip details, as I'm sure you're all DYING to hear about how we met Mike Ditka ...

2006

Well. What can I say about 2006 that hasn't been said before? He was a good year, he treated people well, he always had a kind word ... ah, screw it, who am I kidding? 2006 was a bastard and I'm glad he's dead. Yeah, I said it. And I'm sure a good number of you out there were thinking it, too.

Okay, so that was a little harsh. But the truth of the matter is that I really am glad that 2006 is over. It was a tumultuous year for me.

One of the biggest issues for me this past year was my health. My Takayasu's Arteritis had reared its ugly head again in September of 2005, and the majority of 2006 was spent trying to combat that. I started off on the right foot early on with some good test results and the news that my doc was taking me off Prednisone. However, when my dose got low again, I had more pain. I wasn't sure if it was related, but my blood tests showed elevated levels, so my doc raised my dose again. This time, he had the intention of switching me from Prednisone to Methotrexate as a maintenance drug. After being on both for a while, he gradually tapered me down on the Prednisone again in hopes that the Methotrexate would take over and keep me healthy. It didn't. The pain came back and I was back to square one. In the last month of the year, I was put back on Prednisone after having only been off it for a month, and now we only have one last hope for an alternative. Soon I will be put on Enbrel, and we'll see how I react to it. I don't know if it will have any wierd side effects like the Prednisone, or if it will even do its job and keep the inflammation down. And I'm kind of scared because Enbrel doesn't come in pill form, so I'll have to give myself injections once a week, which I've never done before. It's not that I'm afraid of needles or anything ... I've just never had to stick MYSELF with one. And who wants to do that, really? But anyway, it's a new beginning. 2006 was a year of ups and downs on the disease front. When I was on Prednisone, I felt well, but was emotionally down and extremely self-conscious because of what the drug does to my appearance. When I wasn't on it, sure, I looked great, but I was usually in pain, often nauseous, sometimes to the point of keeping me from doing things I wanted to do, like be with my friends. It was a constant trade-off, and I'm hoping that this year finally brings me some balance. I crave it. I am a Libra after all. :)

2006 also managed to put me into a position with friends that I had never been in before, and don't care to ever visit again. In the interest of confidentiality, I won't go into details, but the people involved know who they are. To them, I'd like to say that I never intended for things to play out the way they did. I never intended to hurt any person or harm any relationship. I know that I did, and I am sorry for that. Though I cannot take responsibility for everything that happened, I can take responsibility for my own actions. I don't recognize or like the person I was when I did or said certain things, but I believe I learned a lot about myself through this experience. Perhaps I thought that I was insignificant and that my actions would never have any effect on anyone. Maybe I learned just what I am capable of. In any case, I am in a completely different head space now, and I hope to say honestly that I will never return to the dark place I was in. I've made some changes, and they weren't easy, but they were right. I feel like things are finally at peace again, and I don't intend on disturbing that. To the other parties, I don't know if I can still call you friends, but I hope you will accept my wishes for a very happy 2007.

Self-reflection was a running theme in 2006. Like I mentioned already, I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned about some of my flaws, and I learned more about what is really important to me. Unfortunatly, the price of this is that I feel like I aged much more than just one year in 2006. I turned 27 this year, but sometimes I feel like I'm pushing 40. I feel pressure to be at a place in my life that I haven't reached yet, and may possibly never reach. Just because I have more gray hairs each day doesn't mean that I have to know where I want to be in 10 years. Or even 5 years. I don't know if I want to buy a house. I don't know if I want to get married or have kids. I don't know if I want a new job or new friends, or a new wardrobe. I just don't know. But almost worse than not knowing, is not knowing what to tell people when they ask me. "I don't know," never seems to be the right answer. Everyone has solutions for me, all good ones, but all different, and possibly all wrong for me. These people who offer advice mean well, and I appreciate their concern for my well-being. They love me. But they need to love the me that doesn't know what she wants to do next weekend, let alone next year.

They say that hope springs eternal. Though I've had moments where nearly all hope seems lost, I'd like to believe that this old adage is true. What I do know for sure is that the hope a person feels for the future has to come from inside (how's that for a fortune cookie moment?). I don't make New Year's resolutions. I think it's silly to put all of your good intentions into one day and when you inevitably get overwhelmed and fail, to give up your self-improvement efforts entirely. I make promises to myself continuously throughout the year, and I find my success rate to be much higher than it would be otherwise. Having said that, I do have one goal for this year. It is something that I am always working on anyway, but may have lost sight of a little bit in 2006. My goal is to never lose hope. It would be so easy for me to just give up and let the bad thoughts and feelings take over my life; to neglect my friends and family who only want the best for me; to never leave the house because what good could possibly happen to me out in the world? But what kind of a life would that be? It wouldn't be any kind of life at all. Not one that I would want to lead anyway. So my goal is to stay positive, keep my chin up, always look on the bright ... well, you get the idea.

I hope this post hasn't gotten anybody too depressed. Sometimes it just really helps to accept that fact that things can be shitty at times, and to really examine what it is that's shitty and how it can be helped or changed. But the flip side of that coin is that you also have to realize that things aren't always so shitty. 2006 also has held some very wonderful and magical moments for me, as does every year. I've had fun with friends. My family is happy and healthy. I have a great job and a great place to live. When I stop to count my blessings, it makes it infinitely easier to envision myself keeping the hope alive in 2007.

Happy New Year, everyone.

not quite a world traveller, but getting closer

Holy Geez, I haven't written since October 10? I am certainly falling down on the job.

So, today I was reading this blog where this guy recounts a tale of something that happened to him at an airport. He was being handed back his change at an airport shop and the cashier told him to "Have a nice flight," to which he responded, "You too."

I laughed out loud because a) it's funny, and b) I did the exact thing when I flew to Louisville, only to the driver of the limo that took me to the airport (and no, I did not spring for a limo for myself - too rich for my blood - the company paid for it). Though the way these guys sometimes drive, maybe I wasn't too far off.

So yeah, Louisville. I was there for several days for a conference a couple weeks ago, and it was ... an experience. I was worried that the conference would be boring and that I wouldn't get to go out and see any of the city since my travelling companion didn't seem the "go out and see the city" type. But I was delightfully surprised. The conference was actually quite engaging (what's the deal with my vocab today??), and I met some folks in my training session who were interested in doing the exact same exploring that I was. So we did. And Louisville is a pretty decent city. A nice little entertainment hub, some fun attractions, NO TRAFFIC! It was nice and enjoyable. I'm not saying I want to spend three weeks there over the summer or anything, but if my travels take me there again, I don't think I'll whine quite as much. And maybe next time I'll get to actually GO ON the tour of the Louisville Slugger factory, instead of having to skip it in order to get back to the hotel and airport shuttle in time to make my flight home.

Ahh, flying. I have flown to three new cities in the past three months, which is a new record for me. Actually, that's not saying much because prior to that, I hadn't flown anywhere (or really even GONE anywhere) in 5 years. Yes, I said 5 years. So it was about time. July 31 - August 1 I was in Baltimore for my first ever business trip. First time I'd ever gotten a hotel room all to myself, too. Mid-August I was in New York (the City for a couple days, then a bit North of there for the rest of the week). Next time I go, I'll have to do some SERIOUS SHOPPING. Seriously. And then this most recent trip to Louisville. And that was the first time I'd boarded a plane by actually going out onto the tarmac (that's the word, right?), and up the stairs onto the plane. That thing was pretty darn little, and not something you'd want to spend any amount of time in if you were claustrophobic. The one on the way back was even smaller. Let's just say that my seat was both a window AND an aisle.

So here's to new travelling experiences, and hoping that there are more to come in the near future. Miami in January perhaps?? :)

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I love Target!

Just wanted to throw that out there.

I planned on going to Target after work a couple days ago, and all day, I looked forward to that trip. Oh, the things I'd buy!! I needed an over-the-door shoe organizer to free up some much-needed space in my closet. Found it for $12.99! I needed a new shower curtain liner, this time one of the mildew-resistent ones with the metal grommets. Found it for $9.99!! I also bought some more hangers (desperately needed, though they weren't on my list). 13 for $1.99! And I bought a mat for in front of the kitchen sink, which I've been needing forever, but hadn't found one I liked. Found one for $9.99! AND THEN!!! I bought myself a late birthday present. Scene-It!! Yay!! Games!! Anyone wanna come over and play a game?? I'll totally kick your ass! :D

Oh, and a BIG thanks to the girl who rang me up, 1) for opening up a new register so I could get out of the long-ass line I was in, and 2) for making me move to another line, therefore distracting me from the ever-nearing candy counter, from which I undoubtedly would have picked up another few hundred calories as an impulse buy.

Yay!! Target!!

:)