sort of embarrassed to admit this

I've been watching American Idol.

(Here I pause to wait for the barrage of beer bottles and rotten tomatoes to end.)

Yes, it's true. I've gone over to the dark side. Actually, I've gone *back* to the dark side. I watched several seasons way back when, then stopped because I grew a conscience and some dignity. But now, well, can dignity and a conscience shrink from lack of use?

Anyway, this stuff that these people sing is never anything that I would pay money to listen to, but ... well ... the fact of the matter is ... this season is actually ... GOOD! I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's the truth. I like the changes they've made this season. They seriously needed them. And the contestants this year? I watched last night - "Country Night" which would normally nauseate me - and really I can only name maybe two people that I think should be sent home. The rest of them I actually liked! I mean, I really really liked! On COUNTRY NIGHT for cripes sake! We're in for quite a competition here.

So yeah, I'm kind of excited to hear what these guys do in upcoming weeks when the theme is something I actually tolerate on a regular basis.


In case you're interested, here are my evaluations and predictions for the Top 13 (including the 2 who have already been eliminated:


Jorge: Eliminated last week, and I don't miss him. He was one of the stronger personalities, but one of the weaker singers.

Jasmine: Eliminated last week, and I don't miss her either. She's too green and needs to live a little before starting a career. Any career.

Danny: I've really liked him from the beginning and I think he has a chance to win it all. I think he has the stage presence to pull off any kind of musical performance, which is good on this show.

Anoop: I'm undecided on Anoop Dog. I think he's talented, but maybe not talented enough? I don't know. It just feels like he's trying too hard or something. But at least he doesn't bore me. And I kind of liked the song he chose last night.

Allison: I really enjoy her performances and I think she has a cool voice. But I tend to forget about her as soon as she's done. Don't know what that's about. But she can seriously sing.

Matt: I wasn't crazy about him at first, but this week he did awesome! I don't get the Justin Timberlake comparisons, but the kid is very talented, especially behind a piano.

Scott: Speaking of pianos, Paula was right when she said Scott was using the piano as a crutch. I give him kudos for doing this kind of thing with what could be a damaging handicap (he's blind, if you didn't know), but he really is the weakest singer. I don't want to sound like the bad guy, but I think he is getting the sympathy "good for you" votes.

Lil: I really like Lil and her R&B vibe. I think she needs to up her game a little in order to stand out more, but I think (and hope) that she could make it all the way.

Megan: Megan, Megan, Megan. What can I say about Megan? She's weird and tattooed and quirky in both her vocals and her onstage shimmies. Personally, I love it, and I always look forward to her performances, but I could see how the general populous might not want to keep her around.

Michael: I liked him at the beginning, but I think his star is fading. He's just becoming very blah. I don't think he'll stick around for more than a few more weeks, if that.

Alexis: I like Alexis. I really liked her performance last week, but this week wasn't as strong. Still, she's one of my faves and I think she'll go far. As long as she keeps being "dirty," that is, but maybe they can stop saying that word? Please?

Kris: This kid is adorable, and he can sing. Yes, that's all I'm going to say.

Adam: So, saving the weirdest for last, there's Adam. I missed some of the early auditions and Hollywood week episodes, so I really didn't know much about this Adam kid until last week. And, um, I LIKE IT!! He's kind of weird and goth and wears makeup and nail polish and tight leather pants, and he's got a voice like I've never heard before. He can do a fantastic falsetto, and really knows how to work the crowd. I wasn't sure what to make of last night's Middle-Eastern-tinged version of "Ring of Fire" But I think I maybe liked it? I liked judge Kara's comment, "It left me confused and sort of happy." Yes, definitely. And I think Adam is going places. Whether it's to American Idol's hall of fame, or to another planet where he can be ruler of the tight-pants girly-singers, remains to be seen.

Seacrest, out.

remembrance

Yesterday at work, we all received small black ribbon pins in memory of four of our employees (from a different sector) who were killed in the recent plane crash in New York. At 10:20 in the morning, we observed a moment of silence in their honor.

During this moment of silence, I was reminded of another time when I was given a ribbon to remember someone who had passed away.

When I was in 8th grade, I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital. Every few weeks, I would go in for a night or two to have an I.V. treatment (something like chemotherapy). One day while I was sitting in my hospital bed whiling away the hours until it was time to go home again, I glimpsed a boy walking into the room next door who looked familiar. Over the next few hours, I saw nurses, doctors, and family members going in and out of the room frequently. I particularly remember the boy's Dad. At one point, he came out into the hall holding a mask over his mouth. He lowered the mask and smiled at me.

It must have been the next morning when I saw the boy again. Only this time he was being wheeled out of the room in a wheelchair, looking like he'd been through a war. That was the last time I ever saw him.

The following Monday at school, the hallways were full of whispers. I could only understand that something bad had happened to someone. Finally, there was an announcement from the Principal. A boy named Jason had taken ill over the weekend. He had acute Leukemia. There were complications with his treatment and he passed away on Sunday.

I don't think I realized right away that this was the boy I had seen at the hospital. I didn't want to believe that I was the last of his classmates to see him alive.

What I learned later was that some bleeding in his mouth (possibly triggered by tightening of braces - the memory is a little bit foggy here) had tipped his doctors off that there was something not quite right. This led to the leukemia diagnosis. He needed a blood transfusion, which I believe is what was happening in the room next door to mine. For reasons unknown to me, he was then transferred to a hospital in the city. There is where they discovered that the transfusion had caused a clot in his brain. He had been scheduled to start chemotherapy the very next day, but sadly, he never made it that far.

A few days after the announcement, all of the students at the Junior High were given little cream-colored ribbons in memory of Jason. I pinned mine on my backpack, which is where it stayed all year, and all through High School, too. When I looked at it, I thought of that young boy I had seen at the hospital. But even more often than that, I thought of his Dad, and the brave smile he had given me from the hallway that day. His family was going through Hell, and he still found the strength to smile at the stranger in the next room.