dark clouds on the horizon

There is one more week until the day that I plan to ignore arrives. Yes, Valentine's Day is one short week away. You may be asking yourself, "How can she be ignoring the day if she's recognizing the fact that it's one week away?" That is a good question, but it has a good answer, too. Like I mentioned in one of my posts about Valentine's Day last year (yes, I did go back to read them), it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to ignore the day completely because we are bombarded with all the consumerist images of what love is supposed to look like. It's just plain inescapable. I guess that's good for all the girlfriends out there whose boyfriends may not ever look at a calendar, but for your average single girl like me, it sucks the big one. Lemme tall ya.

This year, I'm planning on taking a similar tack as I did last year. I'm going to spend the evening with a bunch of my girl friends and forget about boys all together. My friend A is hosting a dinner at her place, for girls only, and I think it will be a good time. My friend T is also hosting an Un-Valentine's potluck, but A invited me first, so that's where I'm going. Sorry, T! (T & A, ha ha! Oh, brother.) Now, whether either of these events would be more gratifying than sitting at home watching movies and eating ice cream with the cat is another story. See, the cat really loves ice cream ...

But anyway, this year I have no illusions. I think that the little part of me that secretly hopes for MOMD (Man of My Dreams, for those of you who were not paying attention in class) to suddenly appear and sweep me off my feet has shrunk just a little bit. Not that I don't always have a little bit of hope (see, this is why I need to go back and read my New Year's post now and then), I think maybe I've just been a little hardened by some past experiences. I know for certain that MOMD is not going to show up a) because he does not exist, and b) because I'm not that lucky. I'm not going to wear black out of protest, like I have done in years past, but I won't be wearing any red and pink sweaters with frilly appliqueed hearts on them either. I'm just going to calmly coast through the day, and then meet my friends for dinner that night. That's the plan.

Valentine's Day? What's that? This is just Wednesday.

It's over, I made it, I survived!

My least favorite holiday has passed without incident. That is a good thing. No, MOMD did not appear suddenly in front of me holding a bouquet of wildflowers and a pound of Jelly Bellies, but at least he didn't show up and stomp on my head either. 'Cause that's kind of what I was expecting.

I spent the day like any other, had lunch in the cafeteria with friends, where Valentine's Day was not mentioned once, went on a mission after work to find the Music Club CD that I need to have listened to 80 billion times before Saturday so I have something intelligent to say about it at the meeting (finally found it after 6 freaking tries!!), and then went out with the girls at night. Though there weren't any guys at the bar that really seemed worth talking to (and apparently none who thought I was worth talking to either), it wasn't a total bust because I got caught up with Jillian etc. and met some other girls who were pretty cool.

Hmm, speaking of the above paragraph, I have a general blogging question for any more experienced bloggers out there who feel like answering. When you mention friends in your blog (or family, or anybody, for that matter), do you generally use their names, or fake names to protect privacy, or the very vague and uninteresting "a friend"? I would never make anything resembling a negative or exploitative comment about any of my friends on my blog, but even so, what is considered proper etiquette? Or is it completely left up to the blogger's preference?

Pondering the universe,
Me

VD-Day ... Oops, I mean V-Day

Even though it may look like I haven't posted anything here since last August, it's a lie. A lie, I tell you! I posted a ... posting ... (posted a blog? wrote a posting? blogged a writing? writed a posted blogging post?) just a couple weeks ago about dumb boys, but I deleted it. The posting about dumb boys was pretty dumb itself and I decided it was better if you, dear Readers, never read it. Just know this: Boys Are Dumb. That was the gist.

Now. On to a more current topic. Valentine's Day. Love it or hate it, it's tomorrow. Personally, I hate it. Perhaps I'd feel differently if Boys weren't so Dumb, but here is my reason for loathing this most romantic of holidays. Being a single girl, I really expect nothing of interest to happen to me on this day (no flowers, candy, teddy bears, jewelry, or romantic candlelight dinners for me - maybe a card from my Mom if I'm lucky). However, also being the hopeless romantic that I am, I can't help but hope for more. I imagine that million-to-one scenario where some Man Of My Dreams (MOMD) secret admirer decides that Valentine's Day 2006 is the day he's finally going to reveal his feelings, and he'll send me flowers and candy and all the other things I mentioned in the parentheses above, and I'll accept the gifts, and him since he is MOMD after all, and we'll fall in love and get married at the Wedding Of My Dreams and move to the House Of My Dreams and have all the little Babies Of My Dreams, etc, etc. But then I wake up from the Dream. Valentine's Day comes and goes and MOMD never appears. I feel sorta sad that nothing exceptional happened, but mostly I feel upset with myself for once again holding out hope that something will. Why do I end up feeling sorry for myself when I'm perfectly happy being single? I resolve that next year I'm not even going to recognize the fact that V-day exists and treat it just like any other day. But this is an impossibility in this consumer-driven world we live in, because as soon as all the Santas and reindeer and angels are packed away and put into storage, we are immediately bombarded with images of pink hearts and naked little cupids and I'm once again reminded just how single I am.

I'm sorry, that sounds very bitter. But I'm really not a bitter person. I'm too young to be bitter. But this is what Valentine's Day does to me and this is why I hate it. I really don't mind being single. It's not bad most of the time because I can do what I want whenever I want and I don't have to check in or answer to anyone but myself. When a friend calls and asks if I can go out on Saturday night, I can answer without having to say, "Oh, I don't know, I'll have to ask what Mr. BF is doing." So when one silly day comes along and makes me feel pathetic about something I normally don't have an issue with, I have to hate it. It's a matter of principle.

But. This year is going to be a little different. This year, I AM recognizing Valentine's Day. But I am not going to get distracted by my annual Dreamings. This year, I'm going out with some single friends to some sort of singles gathering (swallowing my pride a bit on that one) and I'm just going to have a good time. I have no expectations. I'm not going to try and meet someone. If I do, great. If I don't, who cares? At the very least, it's a night out with the girls, which is ALWAYS a good time. So if MOMD decides to come looking for me this year, he's not gonna find me because I'll be out being the social butterfly with the gal pals. He'll just have to wait for some random day in March when I least expect it. I prefer it that way anyway. I love surprises.

Cheers!
Okay, fine. And Happy ... Valentine's ... Day ... ! Man, that was hard to get out.