the house

It's been almost 2 years since my Dad retired, and about a year for my Mom. In this time, they have, like most retired couples do, thrown around the idea of selling their too-big, too-hard-to-care-for house, and moving into something smaller. Perhaps a little 2-bedroom house in town with a little yard, or maybe a townhouse in one of those retirement villages, or possibly even a house far away in a much warmer climate, where my Dad's hips and knees won't bother him so much, and he will never have to snow blow another driveway ever again.

In my mind, this possibility has always been a "someday" kind of thing. On some distant day that I don't have to think about, my parents will move out of the house they've lived in for the past 20+ years. There will be a teary goodbye, all the neighbors will come over with their best wishes, and maybe we'll even bury a time capsule. Right next to the circle of cement at the top of the driveway that used to hold up the basketball hoop, but my Dad was never able to dig up because it went too deep, and maybe he didn't want to anyway since it has the hand prints of me and my brother and the paw print of our old dog Emily.

But it seems that "someday" is coming much sooner than I had hoped. They plan to put the house on the market either this Spring or next. They've already had two people come out to give them a recommendation on how much to list it for, and they've begun the staging process.

A few weeks ago, I was devastated to learn that my Dad had gone through half of the enormous bookcase (that he built) in the living room and given a ton of books to Goodwill. I got mad at him for not asking me if I wanted any of them, which I know was completely selfish and bratty. But I think that what I was really feeling was the sentimental attachment to the house and all the objects in it. Even though the books belonged to my parents, I felt like they had just given away a part of my life. The process was starting - the process that would end with them not living there anymore, and me having no reason to drive out to my old neighborhood anymore. The next day, my Dad called me up and told me he was sorry for upsetting me, and that he wanted me to be there when they went through the other half of the bookcase. As guilty and ridiculous as I felt for blowing up at them, I felt happier that they decided to include me in this process of change. And after the second book purge, I came home with a box and a half of great old books that either I'd loved as a kid (the Tolkien Bestiary), sounded like an interesting read (a biography of Jack Kerouac), or were just really cool (a leather-bound Atlas from the WWII era). The other night when I went over to their house for dinner, I found a couple more boxes of old stuff they wanted me to go through before they threw it out, sent it to Goodwill, or put it in the "garage sale" pile. This time it was kids books that had been in a bookcase down in the basement for who knows how long. Even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with them, I decided to keep quite a few of these old books, for various sentimental reasons (one of them was a personalized story about Mother Goose given to me by my Grandma, who passed away last year).

I am going to accumulate more "stuff" during this move than is physically possible to fit into my apartment. I know that my parents will only be taking one living room set with them when they move, so they've offered the second one to me. My Mom has also mentioned giving me the dining room set. And to my shock, they lately offered me the antique record player that we've had for as long as I can remember. Even in the house before this one.

The thing is, I'm not sure if hanging on to things from the house is going to make it easier or harder for me to accept that they're selling it. That house embodies my family. It was my uncle's construction company that built it. When it was just a hole in the ground, my Dad, brother, and I brought a maple sapling that we'd dug out from behind the garage of our old house, and planted it in the far corner of the backyard of the new house. It's a big, healthy, beautiful tree now, but for a long time, you could still see the crooks in the trunk caused by it's rough beginning. During construction, I used to make things out of the scraps of colored wires left on the floor after the electrical work. I remember the first thing I ever put in my bedroom closet - a My Little Pony corral - and I don't think the room even had walls yet. My little brother only remembers living in this house.

Saying goodbye to this place is going to be difficult, to say the least. We built that house in 1987 and it's always been home base for me and my brother. The place we knew we could always come back to. I visit my parents at least once a week, sometimes more, rarely less. I know that that won't change if they move, and my brother and I will be just as welcome in the new place, but will it feel right? Will it be home? And if they do decide to move out of state ... well I just don't know what I'll do on Wednesday nights anymore.

wednesday

The best thing about yesterday:

My mom and dad were talking about where they wanted to go for the winter, and if they'd be going anywhere at all. My dad jokingly said that he was going to go to Green Valley AZ and leave my mom here, because of all the hot women down there. All of the hot blond widows in their sixties who drive convertibles and he'll need a two-by-four to keep them all away. I told Dad that the only people I remember in Green Valley are old men in shorts and black knee socks playing shuffleboard, and old women at the pool with skin spilling out of their one-piece bathing suits. Dad said he'd give the hot blond convertible-driving widows his "sexy bedroom eyes" and then made a noise that sounded a lot like a snort.

Two-by-four indeed.

funny things Mom said last night

Okay, the "you learn something new every day" thing really isn't working for me. I just don't learn enough! And I can't always post every day!

Anyway, my mom is funny.

"Wiping up corn is hard. You pick it up, and then deposit it somewhere other place ... else."

Me: (pointing at floor) What is that??
Mom: A chicken tail.

from the memory bank

For one reason or another, something I was reading today triggered a memory from a few years back that I'd like to share.

Most of you reading this probably know that I have a younger brother. We have the kind of relationship that I consider to be typical of an older sister/younger brother combo. We didn't particularly get along when we were kids, and fought about stupid crap a LOT. We are VERY DIFFERENT. I cannot stress this enough. But as we've grown older (and wiser??), we've found more and more things to appreciate about each other. At the present, we get along pretty well, as long as we don't have to spend exorbitant amounts of time together.

Anyway, one summer when I was home from college (or possibly shortly after college, but before my brother moved away), I was driving home to my parents' house late at night, and I saw something that took my breath away. The main street near their home is called Silver Glen, and that night I discovered how it got its name. The road goes through a small, low-lying marshy area, and on damp nights such as that one, it tends to gather a little bit of fog. Add to that the full moon overhead and you've got one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in nature. The moonlight shone down on the thick layer of fog over the wetlands and gave it a mystical silver glow. It was magical - like nothing I'd ever seen before. I could see it as I approached in my car, and then drove right through it, emerging from the other side. My first thought was that I wanted to park my car and walk through the fog on the platforms built over the wetlands. But no, I wanted to share this with someone.

My brother is such a night owl that I was sure he'd still be up. And sure enough, I found him watching TV in the living room when I came home. I immediately told him to put his shoes on because there was something I wanted to take him to see. At this point in time, our relationship was in one of its in-between stages. He admired me mostly because I could drink alcohol legally, and I admired him because because he still had so much living to do. As he was getting ready to go, I could see he was getting excited about our adventure, even though he didn't know where we were going. I just hoped he wouldn't be disappointed.

So we drove back to the wetlands and I showed him the thing I found so beautiful that I just had to share with someone. I approached slowly and pointed out the fog and how amazing the moonlight looked reflected off the top. Then we parked the car in the gravel lot off a side road, and walked into the mist.

I am pretty sure that when I pulled my brother out of the house that night and told him there was something I wanted to show him, that he was expecting some kind of underground, thumping, rollicking, drunken party or something like that. I know that what I actually showed him must have been a bit of a disappointment. I'm not really sure that he appreciates the same things as I do, like finding beauty in nature. But my hope is that he could find the beauty in that moment we spent together, or at least that one day he can look back on that night and see it as a precious moment spent with his big sister, when all she wanted was to share with him something that she thought was special.

It's a miracle

I am actually writing a blog!! Totally amazing, right? Yeah, I know.

Well, in actuality, I didn't sit down here with any particular topic in mind. I guess I just wanted to reconnect a bit, share my thoughts, you know, bloggy stuff. Yesterday I went to a wedding that I wasn't entirely sure I would enjoy, but ended up having a pretty decent time, despite some minor dramas. I have some more insight into that situation that isn't really blog-appropriate, but if I see you in the near future, perhaps you will entreat me to share.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately, and how outsiders view them. Unless you are one of the two people in a relationship, there is no way you can ever really know what it is all about. You may see two people who on appearance have nothing in common, but you can never really know how they get along behind closed doors. They may connect on a level that simply can't be seen from the outside. I know I have made this mistake at times myself, and I am hoping that I have learned from it. But it still never ceases to amaze me how much people judge by what they see with their eyes alone - not even knowing the people they are judging. They see a guy with piercings dating a girl who goes to church and think "What can they possibly have in common?" But the truth is, they may have exactly the same value system, but just choose to express themselves differently. Until you get to know each of the people on a personal level, you cannot begin to understand their relationship. And let me take a minute here to say that I don't even suggest trying to understand it, because it's none of your business to begin with. But now I'm running the risk of getting too much into personal crap, so I am going to attempt to change the subject. Again, if you want more, talk to me personally, but don't expect too much from me then, either.

So, my friend Jillybean just ran a marathon. A MARATHON! And I can't even run a mile. I cannot express in words how amazed and proud I am of her. This was her second marathon, first one being last Fall in Chicago. This one was in Anchorage. The girl is a running machine. That's all I have to say. :)

Today is Father's Day and I am currently out in the burbs at the 'rents place celebrating. Well, the "celebration" consisted of me coming over, Mom cooking some good food on the grill, and then the three of us going out for ice cream - sorry, frozen custard. All was very good, but now I got myself sucked into this CD burning project, (it happens when you don't have a computer of your own at home) so while the discs burn, I have free computer time, hence BLOG! Yay! I love blog!

But the truth is, my brain is not entirely in it, and therefore I am writing a very strange and disjointed entry. Sorry about that. I promise it will be better next time ... when I actually have something to write about, and not just extra time to write.

Well, maybe.

Blah.

Week in Review numma 3

Hey kids! So here's what went down this week. Last Saturday my roomie and I were throwing a party, so Friday after work I basically started getting ready for that. Well, truthfully, I was kind of pooped from the crazy week I had had, so "getting ready for the party" pretty much consisted of doing my laundry and going to bed early. So that meant that Saturday morning/afternoon was filled with cleaning, shopping, and making general preparations for this shindig. I got my bedroom spotless, and then started on the rest of the place, swept, rolled up the rug (learned my lesson after the last party!), rearranged furniture, etc. I had the task of going to the grocery store for snackies and whatnot, while roomie went to the liquor store and cleaned the bathroom. That is, he cleaned OUR bathroom, and then went to the liquor store. He didn't clean the bathroom AT the liquor store, as much as they might have appreciated that (he does an excellent job). :) Anyhoo, the party was a blast. Several people who I rarely see showed up, and one friend from high school who I hadn't seen in about 5 years! That was super exciting! A work friend showed up later in the evening with his dog, and it just made me miss having a dog so much! And she (the dog, Kawie) was such a sweetie too. Got along with everyone and just made herself right at home! So much so that the next day I realized I had dog hair all over my couch AND my bed. Not that I minded at all. :) Love the doggies. I can't think of too many wild and/or crazy stories from the night, but that's because I once again felt like it flew by and I didn't get to talk to anyone! It seemed like I got a few really good conversations with a few (really good) people, but I know for a fact that some people came and went and all I got to say to them was hello and goodbye. Such is the fate of the hostess I guess. Oh, and eewww. I looked at my camera the next morning and I look ridiculous in every picture I'm in. Yeah, no one will be seeing those. :) All in all it was a good night. I think the final people count was about 37, which is pretty damn good in my opinion! Sunday was a day spent recovering. I slept for a lot of it, watched some TV I think (oh yeah! Desperate Housewives finale!!), and helped the roomie clean up the major garbage, but the rest of the cleaning we left for a time when we'd have more energy ... and motivation.

So Monday after work, that's what I did. I came straight home, changed my clothes, put on some music and got down to business. I cleaned all of the table/counter surfaces, mopped the floor and picked up what was left of the garbage, and put furniture back in order (including the rug which was spared the inevitable spillage). It took me just over an hour and afterwards I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Cleaning does that to me. :) And even though the roomie didn't say anything to me about the spectacular cleaning job I had done, when he walked in the door (I was in my bedroom), I heard him say to himself "Fantastic!" so that was good enough for me. Tuesday night was Ladies Night, which is always a good time. 6 of us ladies went out to Opera, an Asian fusion (?) restaurant on Wabash and it was EXCELLENT! I recommend it. But if you can, try to go on a Tuesday and ask about the special deal (which won't be around forever!!). You'll be glad you did. :) My meal consisted of Maine lobster spring rolls (very good), Beef with Asparagus (really really good despite the lack of descriptive details), and a Mandarin Orange dessert which, against my better judgment, I finished because it was so tasty! And I had more than half of my entree left to take home and have for dinner later in the week. Yay! Wednesday night I went out to my parents' to have dinner with my little bro!! He's in town for a while from Seattle and wanted to take the family out to dinner. We went to a Japanese hibachi/sushi place that was pretty good. My brother was the only one who ordered sushi, but everyone tried a little, including my Dad! I was so proud of him!! And I think my Mom enjoyed the sushi very much because she kept eating it after my brother and everyone else had had their fill! The rest of us ordered hibachi stuff - garlic shrimp for Dad, calamari for Mom, and scallops for me (one of my new favorite things, I think), and it was all very good. Okay, just a side note here - I feel like Nora!!!! Blogging about food!!! :) So anyway, it was cool to hang with the baby brother, even though he left without saying goodbye! I think he was going out to meet some friends. Hopefully I'll get to see him again before he leaves for home. I think he's going up to Detroit this weekend, but maybe next week. Oh, and that night Mom and I watched the Lost finale! So exciting!!! All kinds of new information, and plenty of cliffhangers - exactly what you want in a season finale. Thursday was delightfully relaxing. All I had to do when I got home from work was pack for this weekend (going to Indiana for a friend's birthday), and go to the drug store. So that's all I did!! Woo hoo! It was great having no obligations for once! Well, once in a long while anyway. I do go through spells where I have absolutely NOTHING to do for days or weeks at a time, but lately that has not been the case. I'm a busy little bee. :) At least work wasn't too bad this week. It was pretty hectic early on, but had calmed down drastically by about Thursday, which was nice. Next week is gonna suck, though, because it's the end of the month and I'm always swamped. Plus one of my coworkers is moving to another department and next week is her last week here, so she will need to be basically teaching me everything she knows about the programs I'm taking over for her. She's shown me a bunch of stuff already, but this will be our last chance to get everything handed over. Blagh. Not that she won't be still in the building and reachable in case of a massive meltdown (which isn't completely out of the realm of possibility), but still. It's a lot for me to take on, still being the newest person in the department.

So that was my wek. Heh, I typed "wek" and I'm keeping it like that 'cause I like it. :P I REBEL AGAINST THE SPELL CHECKER!!!! Wait, does blogger even have a spell checker? Oh look at that, it does. Obviously, I don't use it very often (or EVER). I pride myself on my most excellent spelling abilities, and my obsessive proofreading (and since I said that, everything will now be spelled wrong and people will laugh at me). My grammar sucks, and I may occasionally use the wrong words in the wrong places, but at least I spell them right! Right?

Ok, bye.

Well!! Week in review

I definitely did not think that there would be no postings at all in between my weekly reviews, but the way this week went, I am not surprised this happened. So let's just dive right in, shall we?

Last weekend was tons of fun, and busy!! Started out Friday with the Bachelorette party I mentioned in my last post. It was a good time. I really only knew the bride and one other person well, had met a couple others once or twice, and the rest I did not know from Eve, but they all were very nice (and funny!), and a good time was had by all. I was very proud of the bride for finishing ALMOST everything on her list of embarrassing and/or stupid things she had to do, and managing to wear her bachelorette sash for the entire night (the hat with the veil was abandoned relatively early for fear of hat hair).

Aaaand, it is now Monday again and I didn't even finish writing my entry for last week. Well, let's just continue right on. Saturday I made my way over to Kristi's house for her sweet boy's second birthday. So cute!!! He was making eyes at me all day. :) Not sure how much he appreciated my gift of a chronicle of Oz stories - he was much more interested in the giant semi-truck filled with Matchbox cars - but it'll be something he can get into at a later age ... I hope anyway. Nora and I had plans to go to a Secret Machines show that night, so I took off and met her at my apartment where we had a drink or two before departing for the Metro. We were meeting a friend of mine from work and her roommate, and they were running a bit late, so we went to Full Shilling for a beer while we waited. They showed up just before showtime and we arrived at the venue just as the band was taking the stage. Perfect timing! And the show?? AWESOME!!! Love their live show so much! Their albums are amazing, but they don't even do their live show justice. The lights they use are perfect for their sound, and the atmosphere makes it so easy to just fully immerse yourself in the music. I am so excited that I'll get to see them again at Lollapalooza, though I am guessing they'll have a daytime slot and it won't have nearly the same effect as the shows I've been to in the past. But you can bet I will be in the audience at every show they have in Chicago from now until the end of time. Yeah. :) Well, after that was over, we chatted with some Metro employees who recommended we head over to Gingerman Tavern cause that's where they were also going, so we did. Had a couple drinks there, then made our way back to Smart Bar where the bartender from Gingerman said he'd be going once he closed up. Why we decided to put our fate in the hands of all the random employees we met that night I'm not sure ... well maybe it was because they were cute ... but we danced and drank the night away and I believe we all had a smashing good time. Not to mention we randomly ran into my roommate and his bro at Smart Bar. That was nice. But yeah, that was the latest night I had had in a very long time. Nora and I went back to my place to go to bed at around 5 or 5:30 (details a little foggy at this point). Next morning I got Nora up so she could make her way out to the burbs for Mother's Day brunch, and ended up just staying up myself - for some reason I have a hard time sleeping the morning after drinking a lot. Sleepiness doesn't come until much later in the day. And boy, did it! I too went out to the burbs to see my Mama. Some family was over for a barbecue and I tried to be sociable for as long as I could, but at one point, I just had to escape. Right before dinner I went upstairs to my old room for a bit of a lie-down. Didn't get any actual sleep 'cause I was called down to dinner. But AS SOON AS dinner was over (I even skipped dessert if you can believe it!!), I went right back up for a glorious little nap. Got up just in time to head back home and watch "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy" (Desperate Anatomy, for short). Good stuff.

AND THEN!! The week from Hell. I don't particularly feel like going into all the details of how hellish my week was - it was all work related - but if you can imagine one of those weeks when you think you have a few reasonaly achievable goals to meet, and you come in each day thinking, "Hey, today shouldn't be too bad, I have this, this and this to do and that's all," and then EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. New things are piled on your desk by the minute and the things that should have taken 5 minutes to complete end up taking 5 hours, and every single thing has to be done RIGHT NOW ... yeah, it was like that. In fact, it was exactly that. Which is why there were no blog posts last week ... and why I didn't even finish this one until today, Monday, a full week and 3 days after my last posting. Grrrr. Who knew this blogging thing would be so demanding!!? Wait, who's demanding anything of me? Hmm, no one really is, now that I think of it. It's just me. In my imagination I have this gaggle of faithful readers who start to wonder what happened to me when I don't post in a few days, and then if it gets to be a week with no posts they all start to turn against me and post angry rants on an imaginary fan forum, but there are those few who will always stick up for me saying, "Hey people, she's a busy lady and wouldn't you rather she be out and about living and doing things so that once she has some time again she can have something interesting to write about?" and all the skeptics are like, "Yeah, but man, a week? She can't even find time to post one sentence in a week?" and the good folks say, "Hey, don't be a hater."

But then I remember that I have a very active imagination.

Cheers!