Harry Potter, and my weekend, and an observation about neither

So can I talk about Harry Potter just a little bit? If you haven't read it yet, and are planning to, I urge you to stop reading right here (and pick up again below where I will be changing subjects), because this post is bound to be full of SPOILERS!!!

So. It's over. It's done. No more Harry Potter books to look forward to, except maybe the rumored encyclopedia that J. K. Rowling may or may not be publishing in the distant future. I am sad about this. But I'm also happy that the story has finally come to its long-awaited conclusion. Having said that, however, I must admit that I was a bit disappointed by the way it ended. Deathly Hallows was a very exciting and intense book - so much so that I actually had to stop reading after one particular chapter ended because things kept happening, one right after the other, and since I knew the next chapter was going to be more intense than the previous, I just needed to take a break! My fragile constitution needed a chance to rest before plugging onward. It seemed as if Harry and crew were constantly averting capture, and constantly in danger of death at the hands of some evil-doer, if not Voldemort himself. This part was great fun. And it seemed to be building towards a crescendo in which there would be the ultimate battle between good and evil. Well, I guess it got there. The battle was fought, people were killed, people showed their true colors, and good triumphed over evil, as we always knew it would. But oddly enough, I felt unfulfilled. The final battle between Harry and Voldemort seemed to be over in the blink of an eye, as if to say, "All right, I just defeated the most evil wizard in existence, saving the world from certain disaster - I think I'll have a nap." I was left, bewildered, wondering, Hey, whatever happened to ... and the list was a long one. I wondered why certain purportedly important characters had so little to do, I wondered what happened to certain people after the war was over, and though it may seem strange, I wondered why more people didn't die. Maybe it's morbid of me, but I would think that a battle of such proportions would have had more casualties. Yes, some of my favorite characters did not make it, but honestly, I felt the good guys got off pretty easy. And the epilogue, though well-written, still left me hanging. But wait, what about ... ?

All in all, though, I did enjoy the book and I'm sad that it's over. Though it wasn't my favorite of the series (that distinction belongs to book 5), it was entertaining and exciting as they all have been. And any Harry Potter book is a worthwhile read in my mind.

END DISCUSSION OF HARRY POTTER!!!!!

Okay, now that that's over, I just wanted to chat about some random things I've been thinking about. There is this guy at work. I don't know him, but I always see him in the cafeteria around lunch time. He's on the taller side, and the first few times I saw him, he seemed pretty average in build, if not a bit on the overweight side. And its funny, but he was always eating lunch with someone who looked like a shorter, stockier version of himself. Weird. But anyway, one day I noticed that he had suddenly lost a lot of weight. It's possible that he wasn't around for a while, because honestly, I don't keep track of those kinds of things. But for quite some time, he resembled a skeleton a bit too closely for comfort. Very very skinny. Then, just as suddenly as he'd lost weight, he seemed to be gaining it back again at an INCREDIBLE rate. Now he is no doubt overweight, and growing in size every time I see him. I don't know what caused this metamorphosis from average, to emaciated, to obese - maybe he has a thyroid problem, or he was sick and now he's healthy again, with a healthy appetite to boot. But it got me thinking. I noticed this change in a complete stranger - so it made me wonder what people thought about me! When I am on Prednisone, my face goes through some very noticeable changes. Even though the shape of my body does not change TOO much (unless I let my new-found appetite get the better of me), the roundness of my face gives the illusion that I am a much more full-figured person. When I started working here is 2005, I wasn't on any medications. I was thin and healthy. Then I had a flare-up and went on the drugs and got puffy, then my dose went down, then up again, then I was off it, then back on again, and now I'm off it (for good?). All this over the course of two years. But it just makes me wonder what the people who don't know about my disorder thought about my changes in appearance. Did they wonder? Like I wondered about the guy I always saw in the cafeteria? Or did they even notice? Hmmm.

On another topic, I had a very busy, but very lovely weekend. It was a three-day weekend for me, so I took advantage of the Friday off work by finishing up Harry Potter, and going to the grocery store for ingredients to the various things I was cooking for the weekend gatherings. Saturday afternoon I went to a barbecue at K and C's, which was really fun. I just love hanging out with their kids!! :) And I made a tomato artichoke dip that seemed to please, so I was happy about that. I had to leave early, though, for an appointment with some other friends to watch some old episodes of "Lost" and eat homemade Mexican food. I attempted a new recipe for Mexican Corn Casserole, which might have been good, but I think it was a bit undercooked. The baking is done in two sessions, and I had to do one at home earlier in the day, and the second one once we got to my friends' house. I think if I'd been able to do them back to back, it would have turned out better. Oh well. Live and learn. THEN, the next day I went out to the burbs for a pool party and barbecue, which was a jolly good time. It was great to just be outside all day in the gorgeous weather, and have a fun time with some great people. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, but was EXHAUSTED come Sunday night.

Okay, anyway, that's all I have the energy to write about today. Laters!

because because

I Live: by myself
I Work: in a cubicle
I Talk: smack
I Wish: I were an Oscar Mayer weiner
I Enjoy: telling people about my weird dreams
I Look: like hell
I Find: things when I'm not looking for them
I Smell: pretty
I Listen: to my downstairs neighbor's ceiling fan
I Hide: from people at work sometimes
I Pray: but rarely
I Walk: anywhere I can
I Write: my truth
I See: the forest for the trees
I Sing: in my car, and badly
I Laugh: when my friends make funny noises
I Can: do a cartwheel
I Watch: a 19" TV ... or is it a 13"?
I Learn: something new every day
I Dream: of giant rodents
I Want: to date someone cool
I Cry: at the end of Titanic
I Burnt: cookies
I Read: Harry Potter
I Love: my family
I Sometimes: don't know what I'm doing
I Touch: clothing on the racks at the store
I Hurt: more often than I'd like
I Fear: not being able to pay my rent
I Hope: always
I Break: records
I Eat: when I'm hungry or bored
I Quit: at 4:00 every day
I Hug: Mom and Dad
I Miss: my little brother in Seattle
I Hold: on just one more day, and things will go my way ...

because

Ha ha! I wanted to do this one because it seems to be geared towards high school aged kids. :)

x the things that apply to you

Have you ever...
[x] been drunk.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[x] rode in a taxi.
[ ] been dumped.
[ ] been fired.
[ ] been in a fist fight.
[ ] been arrested.
[x] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[x] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[ ] dropped x. (yes and no ... funny story ...)
[ ] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[x] had a sweet sixteen. (I'm sure I had something for my 16th)
[ ] had a quinceanera.
[x] had a car.
[x] drove.

Do you...
[ ] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[ ] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[ ] hate yourself.
[x] think your attractive.
[ ] have a dog
[x] have your own room. (I have my own WHOLE APARTMENT!!)
[ ] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to soul.
[ ] listen to techno.
[ ] listen to reggae/ska
[x] paint your nails.
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[x] get good grades. (Well, I DID anyway.)
[ ] play an instrument(s).
[x] have slippers.
[ ] wear boxers.
[x] wear underwear in general
[ ] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[ ] claim. (Claim what, exactly?)
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.

Are you...
[x] ok.
[ ] bored.
[x] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] latin
[ ] asian.
[ ] short.
[ ] tall.
[x] mellow.
[ ] sick.
[x] lazy.
[x] single.
[ ] taken.
[x] looking.
[x] not looking.
[ ] talking to someone.
[ ] IMing someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[x] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[ ] in your room.
[x] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[ ] in your pjs.
[ ] ticklish.
[ ] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] racist.

a weird night

So, yesterday after work, I sat down on my couch to continue reading Harry Potter. I had read about two chapters when I started feeling sleepy. I guess a couple late nights were catching up to me. So I dozed off. When I woke up, it was 10:00. Even though I had not yet eaten any dinner, just some Cheez-Its right after I got home, I was still in sleep-mode, so I just stumbled off to bed. At about 3 a.m. I was abruptly awoken by a particularly loud clap of thunder. And this NEVER happens to me. I can sleep through any storm. Anyway, after my heart rate returned to normal, I started falling back asleep, but was again awoken by a noise. This time, it was inside my apartment. Slightly afraid of what I might find, I creeped out to the living room, and saw that I had left a window open, and a wooden cigar box that had been crafted into a purse, which I'd had sitting on the table in front of the window, had merely fallen to the floor due to the wind and rain. So I grabbed some paper towels and mopped up the rain water that had come in the window and was all over the table, floor, and everything else in the vicinity. Then I went back to bed.

Man, this story is anticlimactic.

7 things

1. I always thought bicyclists were supposed to follow the same traffic laws that cars were. Am I wrong? I must be, because nearly every time I am driving near a biker and we come to a stop sign, they just ride on through, not even pausing. Some of them even do this at red lights!! I mean, at the very least they should try and use some common sense, right? Also, don't they have to go the right way down one-way streets?? Isn't it just safer that way anyway?

2. I wonder sometimes about the names people choose for their businesses or shops. I have noticed two interesting storefronts on my way to work recently. One of them, which I can only assume was named by someone for whom English was not their first language, is called "Sexy Girls of the Hollywood." Of THE Hollywood? The Hollywood what? Somewhere in this same vicinity, on the other side of the street, there is a store or business called "Neffertiti." Last time I checked, it was spelled with only one "f" and there is actually a restaurant nearby called "Nefertiti Cafe" or something of the like. You would think the people who put up the shop signs would have the decency to point out any spelling or grammar errors the owner might have made. Unless, of course, the error was made intentionally, as is the case of a cleaners near my parents' house, whose sign above the door contains all the correct letters, in the correct order, only each letter is backwards. That's ONE way of getting peoples' attention!

3. I recently cat-sat (ha ha) for my former roomie when he went on vacation. I was afraid, when he asked me, that the cat wouldn't remember me when I came waltzing into his apartment to feed her. It had been a few months since I had seen the cat, and being rather of the skittish and shy nature, I was afraid she would have already forgotten who I was. But I was delightfully mistaken! The first time I came by, I had only been in the apartment for a minute when I saw her head peek out from the bedroom doorway. She sized me up for a second, then came out to greet me, seemingly saying, "Hey, I remember YOU! Where have you been, girl?" So I scooped her up and buried my face in her belly fur. I need to get myself a pet.

4. My headaches are getting much better. I discovered that a bit of caffeine will snuff them out and I don't have to take any pain relievers at all anymore. I am a happy girl. Finally. Because of this, and also because I am completely off the prednisone (for my OTHER disease), and the Enbrel has taken over quite smoothly. I am moon-face no longer! I look like me again!

5. I am about half-way through the last Harry Potter book, and I am enjoying it immensely. I have to be careful to avoid any and all spoilers, though, because there are so many people out there who read through the book so fast (cough, NORA, cough), and they want to talk about it! I don't blame them. I am desperate for someone to talk about it with, but I just don't want to run the risk of one of us saying something revealing about a part of the book the other one hasn't gotten to yet. So I am being very hush-hush about it until I finish reading. And a small part of me never wants that to happen. :(

6. Men are like Port-a-Potties. They're all either occupied, or full of sh*t.

7. Do you know what the majority of Michigan students get on their SATs? Drool. ;)

a good weekend

The good thing about where I work is that we can opt to work longer hours during the summer, and get every other Friday off. This past weekend was one of those three-days and it was pretty good. Though I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I wanted in the "chores" and "errands" departments, I managed to get out of the house and have a little fun. Friday, I went grocery shopping - wait, did I just follow a sentence about fun with one about grocery shopping? Didn't mean to do that. :) But I did want to mention the groceries, the one productive thing I did all weekend, just so nobody thought I was a total sloth. Anyhoo, that was Friday. Saturday, I went out with a couple friends and saw the new Harry Potter movie!!! I was so damn excited about this thing, nothing could bring me down. Not even the snafu with theater location, the endless traffic, and the fact that we had to go to a later show than planned. It still rocked! I am SUCH a Potter-maniac, and I am PSYCHED for next Saturday when the final book comes out. I am also really sad, though, because, sniff, this means it's the END!! No more! Boo hoo. :( But right now, the anticipation is killing me, and that is totally the best part. :) Then, on Sunday, I went with a friend to the Gogol Bordello show at the Vic, which also rocked! Those guys are so completely insane and fun, that even though I was confined** to a chair next to my be-crutched (Is that a word??) friend - long story - I still felt like I had bounced and flailed along with all my fellow concert patrons. Oh, I also got my back spit on, my hand kissed, and my shoulder bitten. Yeah, it was THAT kind of show. ;) Totally fun. And bouncy.

And as a little update to my previous post, after a bit of research, I have diagnosed myself with rebound headaches. The only way to cure these is to stop taking the medication that is causing them (duh). So that means I am basically going to have a headache until it goes away. Sounds fun, huh? I have one medication that I think is safe and will hopefully prevent them, so we'll see how it goes. Send some positive thoughts my way, guys, okay? I could use some.

** Just to clarify, I was confined to the chair completely by choice. My friend is on crutches, so she called ahead and got a section roped off especially for us so that she could sit comfortably and be able to stretch out her leg. The velvet rope was breached shortly into the set, but the uninvited guests were at least courteous enough to give her a wide berth so she'd be comfortable. Everybody at that show was actually very nice. They've got cool fans. :)

Ok, this was a little disjointed, but I've got work to do and I'm TOTALLY procrastinating. Hey, it's Monday.

woman on the verge

I am not having a good time. I am really trying hard to stay positive about things, but on days like today, it's close to impossible. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or that I want people to feel sorry for me, because I know that many people are worse off than I am, and I want nothing more than for things to just get better. In a very general sense. I just need to get a few things off my chest. Maybe if I write about them, transfer my worries to (virtual) paper, they won't plague my mind so much.

About a month and a half ago, I started getting migraines. They were initially caused by something that you would ABSOLUTELY NOT want to cause them. I won't go into further detail for fear of being far too open on a public forum. But suffice it to say that this complicates my life much more that it already is. If you only knew. But, even after the "pounders" stopped happening (whether because of the drugs, or time), I was (and am) still getting headaches. Every single freaking day. Some are not so bad and I can go almost 24 hours without taking some kind of pain reliever, but some are pretty intense and can impede on my routine. When I visited the doctor, he was less than sympathetic. For the first time in my life, I felt like my physician wasn't interested in helping me. The same physician who I've been going to since I was 10, who saw me through my whole Takayasu's Arteritis ordeal, who knows more about my medical history than anyone on this earth. My Mom was in the exam room with me, and when she asked if a certain thing has ever been known to trigger migraines, not necessarily hinting that that was my cause, he laughed while telling us of the one patient of his who claimed to have that trigger, following up with, "Can you imagine that?" I was shocked. "That's what caused mine," I said flatly. He left the room. I didn't understand his reaction to my Mom's question. Did he not believe his other patient, and therefore not believe me? Did he not understand how this could seriously damage a person's life? This was just the very beginning of what I discovered to be a widespread apathy towards migraine sufferers by non-sufferers. For some reason, unless they've personally experienced one, or are close to someone who has, most people don't understand that a migraine is more than just a bad headache. Bear with me for a moment while I attempt to illustrate what my migraines felt like. Imagine someone has just drilled a hole in your head, near the base of your skull, and now they are slowly pouring acid into that hole in your skull, and with every beat of your heart, that acid gets pumped through your brain, slowly burning its way through your brain cells, rendering you completely incapacitated until the pain subsides. And even when it does subside, some hours later, it's still the worst headache you've ever had. No position is comfortable, nothing eases the pain except time, and even that is unreliable. Not to mention, the other symptoms that can accompany the debilitating pain. I am led to believe that my migraines are different than most peoples' in that I only experienced the nausea, and not the sensitivity to light and sound, and that lying down made my pain worse, as opposed to better. But regardless of the accompanying symptoms, the pain is something I would not wish on my worst enemies. The world stops when you have a migraine, only it doesn't. You still have the same responsibilities, you just are physically incapable of upholding them. This was the worst of it. These happened off and on over two weeks. I missed a lot of work, even more social activities, and I practically moved in with my parents just so I wouldn't be alone. After I started to feel a bit better, and had a few drugs in my arsenal, I went home again. But I still had the memory of walking around my apartment in the worst pain I had ever been in. Any activity that had preceded one of these headaches was now frightening to me. I wondered whether I'd get another one every time I walked up or down the stairs, every time I did my laundry, every time I parked my car, every time I went to the bathroom, every time I woke up in the morning. These were not true triggers, but events that had happened immediately before I got a "pounder" in the days following the initial trigger and headache - kind of like an aftershock. (I apologize if this is a bit confusing - I'm not sure it makes complete sense to me either.) I took it easy for the next few weeks, while still trying to force myself to do those things again that I was afraid of. I had to get back to my life. And for the most part, I have. However, I still get a headache every single day. At any given moment, I've got some drug in my system, whether it be Relpax, Excedrin Migraine, naproxen, or something else. I can't kick these things. My sleep is crap lately, and I'm tired ALL the time. Tylenol PM, or a muscle relaxer are sometimes necessary for me to get a restful sleep, though I learned earlier this week that with my early work hours, taking these things on a weeknight is not such a good idea. The problem is that I don't want to rely on drugs to get me through the day. And there are these things called rebound headaches that happen after a medication wears off. I don't know if what I'm getting are rebound headaches or not, but I'd sure like to know how to get rid of them. I try over and over again to just not take anything and hope the pain goes away, but 100% of the time, it just ends up getting worse and forcing my hand. Every day I wonder if I'm going to have a headache for the rest of my life.

Jeez, that was detailed. And thorough. God willing, I'll never have to mention it again. I just want it to go away. I am going to make a desperate plea right now that any comments not contain any suggestions as to how to treat my headaches. Because chances are, I've already tried it. Thanks for your understanding.

If only this was my only problem. But I did not intend to write quite so much about the headaches (I guess I needed to vent more than I realized), so I think I will leave it at that. In the process of releasing my stress and worries into the void, I do not want to inadvertently inflict any of it onto my friends, so this is where I will stop. I think this is enough for one day, don't you?

don't turn the engine off, don't turn the engine off ...

This past weekend was a comedy of errors. Seriously. (Maybe that's an oxymoron? I don't know and I don't care.) Jillybean and I started out innocently enough driving down to the St. Louis area for the wedding of a friend of ours. It was a long drive down there on a Friday afternoon, but not too bad since I had company. And we stopped at a few rest areas on the way, so it was broken up a bit. We arrived at our hotel in O'Fallon, and checked in. Unfortunately, I had not remembered to get directions to the restaurants we wanted to try in downtown St. Louis, so we were more or less forced to stay in our general neighborhood for dinner. This would ultimately mean that the most we'd see of St. Louis was the hazy arch from a distance of I-don't-know-how-many miles. Alas. Anyway, we had decided earlier in the day that we'd like to have some barbecue for dinner, so we asked the girl at the front desk where the best barbecue place was, and she sent us to a place called Smokey Bones, which is, apparently, a chain. But on a positive note, that was some damn good barbecue. The rest of our exciting Friday night was spent at Barnes and Noble, and then at Walmart (I needed to buy a disposable camera, seeing as how the memory card I bought for my digital camera the day before was the wrong kind and did not fit.) We are two wild and crazy girls, let me tell ya. I think that Jilly would have been up for something more exciting, but I had been driving all day and was plumb tuckered out. So after Walmart, we went back to the hotel, watched HBO for a while (Ever seen the show "Flight of the Conchords"? I am in love!!), and went to bed. Next day was the wedding. We woke up early enough to catch some breakfast at the hotel, then just chilled in the room until it was time to get ready to go (we had our leftover barbecue for lunch and somehow managed not to get barbecue sauce on either of our dresses). We drove to Belleville without incident, and the ceremony was lovely (to be discussed in further detail in a later post). The church was ginormous, too! In between the ceremony and the reception, we had about 2 1/2 hours to kill, so we putzed around the town to see what we could see. The first thing we saw was a DQ, so we stopped off for Blizzards. The second thing we saw was a psychic who was offering $5 palm readings, so we stopped, but nobody answered the door. The third thing we saw was a cutesy little antique/resale shop, so we stopped, but despite the huge OPEN sign in the window, they were closed. The fourth thing we saw was my car, in the parking lot where I'd just parked it, unable (unwilling?) to start. Damn. There is nothing more stressful than being stranded in an unfamiliar place with no idea who to call for help. We ended up walking down the street in our party clothes to a gas station to ask for help. There was a kind fellow there (a customer who was well-known to the employees) who promised to help us out and jump my car as soon as he finished buying his beer and cigarettes. So we walked back up to the parking lot, and a minute or so later, the guy and his wife arrived in their big ole pick-up truck. He helped us out very efficiently, and with a cigarette hanging stereotypically from the corner of his mouth as he growled, "It didn't even make a spark!" Since it was a Saturday, and we were in unfamiliar territory, and there didn't seem to be any sort of mechanic or otherwise who was open for business (and not a single Sears Auto to be found), we figured the only thing we could do was to drive it where we needed to go, and hope there was someone around who could give us a jump when we'd inevitably need it next time we got in the car. So that's what we did. We drove to the reception hall (even though we were early), where we ate and danced and chatted the night away - Jilly even had several admirers! And instead of going to the after party we were invited to (I was grumpy and tired ... again), we got a jump from some friends of ours, and headed back to the hotel, convinced we'd have to jump it again in the morning and keep it running all the way back to Chicago, and thankful that I had just filled up the gas tank BEFORE the battery died on me. The next morning, as expected, the car needed another jump, so the nice girl behind the front desk offered to pull her car around and help us out. Mission accomplished. Now our plan for the trip back to Chicago was pretty simple - DON'T TURN THE ENGINE OFF! I had enough gas to get us there, so all I had to do was make sure I didn't automatically and accidentally turn the engine off when we stopped for food, or for a rest stop or what have you. We had a little tag team routine where one person would get out and stretch their legs while the other stayed in the car so it didn't get stolen. We stopped for breakfast and Jilly got out to pick it up for us. We stopped at a rest area on the road and were both able to get out and rest for a while. We stopped for lunch at Culver's and once again, Jilly got out and ordered for us (cheese curds, yum). But at each stop, I had to say aloud to myself as I parked the car, "Don't turn the engine off, don't turn the engine off ..." because you don't really realize it most of the time, but reaching over and turning the key after you park is so automatic, that changing your routine can feel incredibly awkward. On the way back, I called my dad, who I figured would have a solution for what I should do with my car after I got back home. Together we decided that I'd drive out to their place in the burbs, and the following morning, he'd help me jump it and take it to the place to get a new battery. This was the best solution I could come up with, because since he had just retired the previous Friday and would no longer be going to work, he was the only person I knew who'd be available on a Monday morning to help me out. The only hitch was that by the time we got back home, my gas tank was at a point where I wasn't sure if I could make it back out to the burbs. So, I stopped at my apartment (and kept the engine running - Jilly was still with me), and we called my former roomie, who was available to meet me at the nearest gas station to jump my car after I filled up. I was informed later by my dad that technically, I could have filled up with the engine running, despite the giant signs at the gas station that said to turn the engine off. I had suspected this was true, but whatever. I didn't want to risk it. So after that long ordeal, I dropped Jillybean off at her apartment, and with much improved confidence that I'd get to my parents' safely, I drove off into the sunset. The next morning went off without a hitch - Dad jumped my car, I got a new battery that worked beautifully and didn't cost a fortune, and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Next time I decide to take a road trip, I'm flying.