my facebook chinese zodiac says ...

"Avoid making a love declaration or getting married during the whole of this day."

Okee dokee.

wishing I'd listened to myself

As I was walking down the stairs to leave my apartment building and go to work this morning, I had this awful feeling that today was going to be a Very Stressful Day. One of those days where I'd wish I had stayed in bed that morning. And if my inbox at work hadn't been so overflowing, maybe I would have.

I should have listened to my gut.

As if my current cartastrophies, apartmentastrophies and medicatastrophies weren't enough, I now believe that the world has gone crazy in its entirety. I've spent the whole day dealing with crazy people, ignorant people, confusing people, pushy people, and the occasional very nice person (I must be honest).

I really wish I could say that there was a full moon, but alas. People ARE crazy and they have no excuse.

fashion victims

Well, I've held off long enough, I think. I just can't wait any longer to post about my beloved Project Runway. I mentioned it briefly after the first episode way back when, but not once since. Pretty good, huh? But now my opinions have changed so dramatically, that I just have to write an update.

I'd like to rewind to two episodes ago when the designers had to create Prom dresses for real high school girls from New Jersey. In general, I did NOT understand this episode. It was like everything I thought I knew was turned completely upside-down. As a former wannabe designer myself, I did not get why everyone was so scared of designing Prom dresses. Some said it was because Prom dresses were ugly. Well, forgive me, but aren't they only ugly if you MAKE them ugly? You're DESIGNERS, for Pete's sake!! Some said it was because they had to design them for real girls with actual human proportions. Now come on! Don't they watch the show before being on it? Don't they know that there will be at least one challenge for real people, if not many more? And as beginning designers, shouldn't they be grateful for ANY chance to show off what they can do? Babies. And some people even said that they felt limited by the "age-appropriateness" aspect of the challenge. Yeah. Sorry, but that's why they call it a challenge, and not a cake walk.

During the challenge itself, I was absolutely shocked by how Christian reacted to his client's demands. I mean, this guy is such a diva, I would have thought they'd have their little diva-off, and then he'd basically say, "I'm the designer and you're not," and he'd crank out something wonderful. But instead, he pouted and whined and made the ugliest dress I've ever seen in my life. Some other blogs I've read about this episode have said they were surprised with how supportive the rest of the contestants were of Christian and how they seemed to really want him to succeed, even though he seems to have such a holier-than-thou attitude. Well, I have a new theory about his character that makes him much more likable to me and would explain this behavior. Sure, he's a little bitchy, and thinks he's God's gift to fashion, and voices his opinions about everyone else's work every time he gets a chance. But he's also tiny. And he has a squeaky little voice and funny hair. So I think that instead of being intimidated or annoyed by him, people see him as like one of those little purse dogs with spiky fur on his head and a diamond collar. Maybe a little yippy, but cuddly in a weird way, and generally nonthreatening. Regardless, his Prom dress was still hideous.

Which brings me to the judging. I did not GET the judges this episode. Either they're so old and out of touch that they've forgotten what it's like to be a teenager, or they were all on crack that day. Because their choices were so completely WRONG. They only picked two (Victorya and Sweet P) to be at the top, instead of the usual three, which was confusing because there were a couple other dresses that I thought were adorable and needed to be mentioned (Chris, especially). And the fact that Victorya won was absolutely disgusting. Not even taking into account my disdain for the bubble skirt/dress (okay, yes, I do own one, shut up), the dress looked cheap and flashy and bedazzled, and I don't think a high school girl would be caught dead in it. And it WON??! Ridiculous. Sweet P was robbed. Her dress was a beautiful, elegant Marilyn Monroe-esque number that all the other girls at the Prom would be envious of. And as for the bottom four, if Rami hadn't had immunity, I really hope they would have auf'd him. His dress made the poor girl look like she was 40. And even on a 40-year-old it would have been unflattering. Not to mention I am SICK of his draping, Grecian crap. We get that you have a signature style. Enough already! Out of the three that could actually be eliminated, I would have auf'd Christian! As much as I think he has some real talent (and I'm growing to actually like his personality), he totally bombed this one. I mean complete failure. But they let him stay and I'm glad, because I know he will bounce back. Ricky, oh Ricky. How many times has he been in the bottom three now? Eleventy billion? I think it's time to go, seriously. But once again, he squeaked by for God knows what reason, and he's still around to design more mediocre throw-aways. Lovely. So who gets eliminated? Kevin. Kevin!! Kevin who has infinitely more talent than so many others and simply made a couple bad decisions on this one. It's unfortunate that he decided not to hem the dress, but I understand why he did it. And the judges should have, too. Yeah, the dress made her look a little old, but I think it had nearly as much to do with the hairstyle, and her galumphing runway walk. The judges' opinions this episode really confused and angered me, but whatever. I'm no professional.

This past week's episode challenge was actually pretty cool. It reminded me of all those fashion shows I used to watch on TV when I was little, sitting there wondering who WEARS that kind of thing? They had to design big over-the-top avant garde outfits based on hairstyles, and the twist came in when Tim Gunn announced half-way through that they also had to design a ready-to-wear that reflected the style of the avant garde piece. They had to work in teams, which always makes for some drama. Of course Victorya made things difficult for her and her partner, and Rami again showed us that he can't play nice with others. The judging this round made a little more sense to me, and I agreed with their assessments, for the most part. The top two (or four) were definitely the best, and it was a very close race. (Personally, I would have chosen Victorya/Jillian just because I wanted to take home that long coat, and the ready-to-wear dress and add them to my own wardrobe straight away.) But I'm glad that Team Fierce (Christian/Chris) won because they worked well together and the designs were pretty cool. As for the bottom of the pile, I was soooo hoping that Rami would be auf'd, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Ricky got lucky again since he wasn't the team leader and the design was Kit's baby, but I'm kind of sad that Kit's gone. Her designs didn't particularly stand out, but I liked her. However, I think we're finally getting to a point where you can't just be in the middle anymore and merely hope to get by. We're at the go-big-or-go-home stage where everyone has to do their absolute best every single time and there really is no safety net.

As my final thought, here are my takes on the remaining 7 contestants:

Chris: When he was first given the opportunity to get back in the game unexpectedly after Jack had to leave for health reasons, I thought it wouldn't be long before he was eliminated again. I actually thought it would happen in his first challenge back. But it didn't, and it hasn't yet, and now I'm not so sure. I think he truly took the second chance as an opportunity to take the judges comments seriously and work on improving his craft. He's been doing really well, and I've always liked him, so I hope he continues doing well. Top 3? Probably not, but I would be happy if he was.
Christian: I think he has a lot to learn, and needs a lesson in humility to boot, but I think he's got some raw talent that will take him places. I think we could see him in the Top 3.
Jillian: She's been one of my faves from the beginning. I would wear her designs. But she's showing some signs of fatigue, and I think the competition is stressing her out. I really hope she recovers and gets her second wind. I'm always excited to see what she does, and I think she has potential to make it into the Top 3.
Rami: Rami started out at the top, and he showed some talent from the beginning. But it seems like he just can't get away from the draping thing. He's always tooting his own horn about how good of a draper he is, but the thing is, there is a lot more to fashion design. His Grecian style has gotten old, and he needs to prove that he can do more. I know he's kind of a powerhouse in this competition, so I wouldn't be surprised if he makes it to the top, but I'm kind of hoping that his spot goes to someone with more eclectic and varied tastes. Someone who I'd be excited to see a full collection from.
Ricky: Honestly, I can't even tell you why he's still here. He's a sweetheart and I'd want him as my best friend, but I wouldn't pay money for his clothes. Top 3? Not on your life.
Sweet P: I love her, but her designs are sort of hit or miss. (One of the designers said that in an episode and I couldn't agree more.) I'm not sure she has the constitution to make it to the Top 3, or much longer in the competition, honestly. I'd love to see her stay to the end, but I just don't think it will happen.
Victorya: I don't like her. She's a snob. Some of her designs have been good, and some not so good. She's a wild card. I think the judges like her, but I think that could change at any minute. I hope she's not Top 3 material, but I wouldn't be surprised if she made it ... just to make me mad.

So that's that. I could go into older episodes and discuss some more, but frankly, I'm exhausted. Talk amongst yourselves.

Later!

hang tough

Guess what I watched last night!?

American Gladiators!! Yeah!

It wasn't as if I'd been anxiously awaiting it's comeback or anything. I was just lazy, and decided that watching Gladiators would be a better use of my time than cleaning the bathroom. (Can you blame me, really?) And it was cool because they seemed to stick to the same format/feel of the original show, with Hulk Hogan and Leila Ali replacing ... whoever the hosts used to be. I don't remember many specifics of the original, but the new one just felt the same, you know? And I definitely remember the whole "Gladiators ready ..." thing. Most of the challenges were from the original show, apart from one new one called Earthquake, which was like a wrestling match on a wobbly circular platform suspended several feet off the ground. I expect there will be a few more new games revealed in upcoming episodes, too. I was trying to remember if they changed some of the "falling surfaces" from mats to water, or if they'd always been water. It seems to me that water would be a better choice anyway. Less risk of broken necks, you know. Oh, and the Gladiators? Awesome. A couple that stuck out to me were Toa, the Samoan (terrifying), and this very, very large woman who called herself Helga. I'm sure however you're picturing her right now is pretty close to the truth.

:)

starting over again

Once again, I am here to write my yearly wrap-up and wish everyone who reads this a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year. Even though I may not be the best at keeping in touch with people, I may not be winning any "World's Best Friend" awards, and I tend to stick my foot in my mouth more often than both my foot and my mouth are comfortable with, I sincerely hope that everyone is doing well and continues to do well (better, even!) as we enter into this new year.

So.

2007 was ... it was ... well, it's over, anyway. Around this time last year I was saying goodbye and good riddance to a nasty 2006 and hoping that 2007 would bring me the happiness I was so desperately in search of. In retrospect, I think I was putting unrealistic expectations on the poor year and there was no way it could live up to them. I was like one of those parents who pressure the younger kids to be just like their overachieving older siblings. "2007, why can't you be more like 2001? Look what 2001 accomplished in only a year? Or 1997? 1997 was so successful. Even 2004 pulled it out in the end! You need to get your ass in gear, son!" Poor 2007 just cracked under the pressure.

It started out all well and good. I was planning on moving into a place of my own, I was going to start a new medication that sounded very promising, I was looking forward to making some positive changes. And I tried, I really did. But things just seemed to fall short of my expectations left and right.

I did move into a modest one-bedroom apartment in Ravenswood. And I was comfortable there for a few months until all of the little inconveniences of the place really started to grate on my nerves. I realized that while I loved the neighborhood and the proximity to several of my friends, I hated (HATED!) the apartment itself. I won't bore you with details of why, exactly, it is so hated, but I have once again decided to move. Even though that might mean I have to drop my couch over the balcony to its death, it will be worth it to be out of the place that has sucked away all of my motivation and will to live. (Drama, anyone?)

Oh, and drama there was! A "situation" with a so-called friend of mine led to some drama that it seemed I was never there to witness. I discovered with little uncertainty that someone with whom I had struggled over several years to develop a friendship, actually thought very little of me and she decided to take the coward's approach to communicating this fact. She managed to single me out among a group of equals and make it known that I was the expendable one, and she didn't even have to say a word to me. The second-hand drama came into play when a very good friend of mine took my side and spoke for me when I wasn't there to do it myself. The only resolution to this problem, it seemed, was in me removing myself from the situation, which I did happily. Not all that glitters is gold, or so they say.

On the disease front, I started a new medicine, Enbrel, which worked splendidly for quite some time. Until it didn't. And the Pain has returned. I am still taking the Enbrel injections, which do the lion's share of the work, but I'm also now back on a small dose of Prednisone, and still take ibuprofen daily. I guess you could say I'm "managing" it, because instead of the disease controlling me, I feel like I am in control of the disease. But in a perfect world (hah!!), Enbrel would be enough, ibuprofen would just be for headaches, and I wouldn't have to see another bottle of Prednisone ever again!

Oh, and speaking of headaches ...

The crowning glory of 2007, one of the absolute worst things I have ever gone through in my life, The Apocalyptic Brain-Explosions of June '07!!! Since discussing this particular period of time tends to put me into a very agitated state, I am going to keep this short and sweet. Worst pain I've ever felt. Averaged every-other-day for 2-3 weeks in June. Missed 4 days of work. One trip to the ER, and one to an unsympathetic GP. Bottles of meds. Not a day has gone by since then that I haven't feared having another one of these attacks. And I still don't understand them. No one seems to have any answers.

So that's that. There's all the bad stuff in a few paragraphs. It feels good to get it out. It's taken a toll on me and it's sometimes a struggle to keep myself from getting buried under all the negative emotions. All the "why me"s and the "when will things get better"s and the "when's my turn"s. But I don't want you to think that this year has been all doom and gloom. And I personally don't want to forget all of the really great and amazing and wonderful things that have happened this year as well. So let's move on to the good stuff.

My good friend Kristi had a little baby girl this year. She is the prettiest thing I've ever seen. And shortly after that, I was given the honor of becoming the Godmother of this beautiful little girl. I know in this day and age, that doesn't mean very much, but it means a heckuva lot to me. Call me old-fashioned. :) (See, I'm even using smileys!) My good friend Nora also found out this year that she is going to be a mommy. She and her husband are 'spectin' their first bundle of joy in February, and I can't wait to see his adorable face. And this summer, my friend Mo got married and I was there to see that happen as well. I am so happy for her and her new family.

I took a most excellent trip to Miami early this year (man, it seems like so long ago!), which was I think the highlight of the year. I was so needing that trip, and looking back on it now still makes me smile and wish I was still there. Especially now that it's negative three billion degrees outside.

And Harry Potter! This was a banner year for Mr. Potter (and Ms. Rowling), what with the final book coming out, and the 5th movie in the series. Both of which were excellent.

And, of course, how can I forget my ten year high school class reunion? I did write a whole post about it after all. Just so you won't forget it either. ;)

Both of my parents retired this year, which is great for them. But it also means I probably won't be seeing as much of them as I was before. I won't get to see my dad at work every day anymore. And my weekly visits won't even be as regular since they plan to spend a lot of time travelling now that they have so much free time. Good for them. All I can say is, I'm very jealous.

So 2007 definitely had some warm-fuzzy moments. And of course it is these that make it all worthwhile.

So in the spirit of not drawing this entry out any further, I say here's to 2008 and all the warm-fuzzies we can handle before we throw up from all the warmth and fuzziness. However, if 2008 decides it wants to drop out of college and move to Portland to sell hand-knitted arm-warmers, that's cool too.