in case you were going to ask

On the road this morning, I was driving behind a Jeep that's top was covered only by sheets of plastic. On the back, the spare tire cover said in large brown all-caps letters, "HELL YES IT'S COLD."

afterglow

I'm not going to say anything here about yesterday's election results except this: Congratulations, President-Elect Barack Obama! Your victory has made me proud to be an American.

In other much more important news, I just overheard someone say this: "I found Dad a cute vest for Christmas." There are just so many things wrong with that sentence.

one weird thing, one random thought

Weird Thing

I just got a voice mail on my work phone. It was a recording, in Spanish, that I believe was telling me I'd won some sort of prize. I need to listen again, but I think it said something about pressing numbers on the phone (obviously meant for if the recipient actually answered), and I know I heard the word 'regalo.' Congratulations to my high school Spanish teachers, who have allowed me to translate about 1/20th of a short spammy phone message. Yay!

Random Thought

I have a song in my head. The reason it is in my head is because on Monday I was watching TV (Chuck) and the song was played in the episode. I own that particular CD (The National - Boxer), and hearing it in the show made me want to listen to the CD. Over and over again for 3 days. So the song being stuck in my head is no surprise at all really. But that wasn't my random thought. The thought was that I think I prefer the music featured in TV shows and movies to be unknown to me. That way it stays pleasantly in the background of my consciousness, only to emerge if it is something truly spectacular that I need to be listening to. If I know the song already, my attention is drawn away from what is happening on screen, towards the realm of "OMG, I know that song! Hey, that's So-And-So Band! Cool! I want to sing along! Whee, this is fun! But hmm, that's kind of an odd place to put that song, during this scene here. I always thought the song was about this other thing. Now I totally have to go listen to it again! Maybe I got the lyrics wrong. I could look them up online ... wait ... wasn't I doing something? Oh yeah, TV's on."

convergence

I don't meet many people with the same name as me. It's not really an unusual name, but it's just uncommon enough that I've only known maybe 2 or 3 others in my life. Maybe met a couple more, fleetingly.

Today I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call from "the other Heidi" with whom I used to work in the same department, and sat across from (causing endless confusion). At the time of the call, I had a man sitting in my office with me. His last name? Heide.

Cue Twilight Zone music.

what's wrong with my computer?

Here's a pop quiz for all you techies out there. My work computer for one reason or another does not show the little arrows, or what have you, that are supposed to show up on mapping sites such as Mapquest, to indicate the exact location of the place you are looking for. So I get a map of the general area of the address I just typed in, and have to assume that the exact location is ... somewhere in the middle. And this happens with every mapping site I've tried. Many times the zooming buttons don't show up either. Is this a setting that I can fix on my own? Or is it something an administrator would have to do? Is it a subtle method my place of business has concocted to discourage employees from visiting such sites, even on breaks? Any ideas?

my facebook chinese zodiac says ...

"Avoid making a love declaration or getting married during the whole of this day."

Okee dokee.

six degrees

Okay, so on Thanksgiving I meet this guy, C, who is a friend of my cousin M. C randomly remembers me from back in the college days when I worked at That's Rentertainment. Apparently, he has an excellent memory for faces. Pretty exceptional in and of itself. Anyway, fast-forward to today. I'm putzing around on Facebook, perusing my friends-of-friends, and I get to a girl, J, who I knew back in high school. Scrolling through her friends, I come across somebody I recognize, who I wouldn't think had any connection to her - a guy, R, who is also a friend of my cousin M. Apparently they "met randomly in 1995 at Swedish Days." :) Gotta love Swedish Days. Since I vaguely know R, I decide to scroll through his friends, and at the very top of his list is C, the guy from Thanksgiving. Cool! Anyhoo, continuing the trend, I peruse through C's friends, and am shocked once again to come across another name I know - a guy named A. A is a) a family member of some kids I used to regularly rent movies to at Rentertainment, and b) good friends with my friend T, who is on my very own Facebook friends list, and is the person responsible for me joining in the first place.

deja vu all over again

I have to just quickly share a bizarre case of deja vu I just had. I was sitting here at my desk at work, and I could hear a woman talking who sits a few cubes down from me. I thought to myself that she badly needed a lesson in humility. Suddenly, I "remembered" something that felt like maybe a dream I had had at one time. It involved apples, and Japan (or Japanese people/person), and a guy I went to high school with named Chris, and something about learning to be humble. And I think it was in an office setting. Then it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, and as familiar as it had felt just moments before, it now felt like something I had made up on the spot.

So fascinating, the intricacies of the human brain.

do you know me?

I got a late start this morning after sleeping like crap last night, so I called in to my boss (Pat) to tell her I'd be late. I wanted to ask her to tell Lisa I'd be late, too, so that word would spread and people wouldn't be left wondering. But apparently, my thoughts were a bit scrambled this morning, and after Pat's voicemail picked up, I started my message by saying, "Hi Lisa, it's Pat."

Nothing like a bit of amnesia to kick start your morning.

Harry Potter, and my weekend, and an observation about neither

So can I talk about Harry Potter just a little bit? If you haven't read it yet, and are planning to, I urge you to stop reading right here (and pick up again below where I will be changing subjects), because this post is bound to be full of SPOILERS!!!

So. It's over. It's done. No more Harry Potter books to look forward to, except maybe the rumored encyclopedia that J. K. Rowling may or may not be publishing in the distant future. I am sad about this. But I'm also happy that the story has finally come to its long-awaited conclusion. Having said that, however, I must admit that I was a bit disappointed by the way it ended. Deathly Hallows was a very exciting and intense book - so much so that I actually had to stop reading after one particular chapter ended because things kept happening, one right after the other, and since I knew the next chapter was going to be more intense than the previous, I just needed to take a break! My fragile constitution needed a chance to rest before plugging onward. It seemed as if Harry and crew were constantly averting capture, and constantly in danger of death at the hands of some evil-doer, if not Voldemort himself. This part was great fun. And it seemed to be building towards a crescendo in which there would be the ultimate battle between good and evil. Well, I guess it got there. The battle was fought, people were killed, people showed their true colors, and good triumphed over evil, as we always knew it would. But oddly enough, I felt unfulfilled. The final battle between Harry and Voldemort seemed to be over in the blink of an eye, as if to say, "All right, I just defeated the most evil wizard in existence, saving the world from certain disaster - I think I'll have a nap." I was left, bewildered, wondering, Hey, whatever happened to ... and the list was a long one. I wondered why certain purportedly important characters had so little to do, I wondered what happened to certain people after the war was over, and though it may seem strange, I wondered why more people didn't die. Maybe it's morbid of me, but I would think that a battle of such proportions would have had more casualties. Yes, some of my favorite characters did not make it, but honestly, I felt the good guys got off pretty easy. And the epilogue, though well-written, still left me hanging. But wait, what about ... ?

All in all, though, I did enjoy the book and I'm sad that it's over. Though it wasn't my favorite of the series (that distinction belongs to book 5), it was entertaining and exciting as they all have been. And any Harry Potter book is a worthwhile read in my mind.

END DISCUSSION OF HARRY POTTER!!!!!

Okay, now that that's over, I just wanted to chat about some random things I've been thinking about. There is this guy at work. I don't know him, but I always see him in the cafeteria around lunch time. He's on the taller side, and the first few times I saw him, he seemed pretty average in build, if not a bit on the overweight side. And its funny, but he was always eating lunch with someone who looked like a shorter, stockier version of himself. Weird. But anyway, one day I noticed that he had suddenly lost a lot of weight. It's possible that he wasn't around for a while, because honestly, I don't keep track of those kinds of things. But for quite some time, he resembled a skeleton a bit too closely for comfort. Very very skinny. Then, just as suddenly as he'd lost weight, he seemed to be gaining it back again at an INCREDIBLE rate. Now he is no doubt overweight, and growing in size every time I see him. I don't know what caused this metamorphosis from average, to emaciated, to obese - maybe he has a thyroid problem, or he was sick and now he's healthy again, with a healthy appetite to boot. But it got me thinking. I noticed this change in a complete stranger - so it made me wonder what people thought about me! When I am on Prednisone, my face goes through some very noticeable changes. Even though the shape of my body does not change TOO much (unless I let my new-found appetite get the better of me), the roundness of my face gives the illusion that I am a much more full-figured person. When I started working here is 2005, I wasn't on any medications. I was thin and healthy. Then I had a flare-up and went on the drugs and got puffy, then my dose went down, then up again, then I was off it, then back on again, and now I'm off it (for good?). All this over the course of two years. But it just makes me wonder what the people who don't know about my disorder thought about my changes in appearance. Did they wonder? Like I wondered about the guy I always saw in the cafeteria? Or did they even notice? Hmmm.

On another topic, I had a very busy, but very lovely weekend. It was a three-day weekend for me, so I took advantage of the Friday off work by finishing up Harry Potter, and going to the grocery store for ingredients to the various things I was cooking for the weekend gatherings. Saturday afternoon I went to a barbecue at K and C's, which was really fun. I just love hanging out with their kids!! :) And I made a tomato artichoke dip that seemed to please, so I was happy about that. I had to leave early, though, for an appointment with some other friends to watch some old episodes of "Lost" and eat homemade Mexican food. I attempted a new recipe for Mexican Corn Casserole, which might have been good, but I think it was a bit undercooked. The baking is done in two sessions, and I had to do one at home earlier in the day, and the second one once we got to my friends' house. I think if I'd been able to do them back to back, it would have turned out better. Oh well. Live and learn. THEN, the next day I went out to the burbs for a pool party and barbecue, which was a jolly good time. It was great to just be outside all day in the gorgeous weather, and have a fun time with some great people. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, but was EXHAUSTED come Sunday night.

Okay, anyway, that's all I have the energy to write about today. Laters!

7 things

1. I always thought bicyclists were supposed to follow the same traffic laws that cars were. Am I wrong? I must be, because nearly every time I am driving near a biker and we come to a stop sign, they just ride on through, not even pausing. Some of them even do this at red lights!! I mean, at the very least they should try and use some common sense, right? Also, don't they have to go the right way down one-way streets?? Isn't it just safer that way anyway?

2. I wonder sometimes about the names people choose for their businesses or shops. I have noticed two interesting storefronts on my way to work recently. One of them, which I can only assume was named by someone for whom English was not their first language, is called "Sexy Girls of the Hollywood." Of THE Hollywood? The Hollywood what? Somewhere in this same vicinity, on the other side of the street, there is a store or business called "Neffertiti." Last time I checked, it was spelled with only one "f" and there is actually a restaurant nearby called "Nefertiti Cafe" or something of the like. You would think the people who put up the shop signs would have the decency to point out any spelling or grammar errors the owner might have made. Unless, of course, the error was made intentionally, as is the case of a cleaners near my parents' house, whose sign above the door contains all the correct letters, in the correct order, only each letter is backwards. That's ONE way of getting peoples' attention!

3. I recently cat-sat (ha ha) for my former roomie when he went on vacation. I was afraid, when he asked me, that the cat wouldn't remember me when I came waltzing into his apartment to feed her. It had been a few months since I had seen the cat, and being rather of the skittish and shy nature, I was afraid she would have already forgotten who I was. But I was delightfully mistaken! The first time I came by, I had only been in the apartment for a minute when I saw her head peek out from the bedroom doorway. She sized me up for a second, then came out to greet me, seemingly saying, "Hey, I remember YOU! Where have you been, girl?" So I scooped her up and buried my face in her belly fur. I need to get myself a pet.

4. My headaches are getting much better. I discovered that a bit of caffeine will snuff them out and I don't have to take any pain relievers at all anymore. I am a happy girl. Finally. Because of this, and also because I am completely off the prednisone (for my OTHER disease), and the Enbrel has taken over quite smoothly. I am moon-face no longer! I look like me again!

5. I am about half-way through the last Harry Potter book, and I am enjoying it immensely. I have to be careful to avoid any and all spoilers, though, because there are so many people out there who read through the book so fast (cough, NORA, cough), and they want to talk about it! I don't blame them. I am desperate for someone to talk about it with, but I just don't want to run the risk of one of us saying something revealing about a part of the book the other one hasn't gotten to yet. So I am being very hush-hush about it until I finish reading. And a small part of me never wants that to happen. :(

6. Men are like Port-a-Potties. They're all either occupied, or full of sh*t.

7. Do you know what the majority of Michigan students get on their SATs? Drool. ;)

acronym psychic

Ever wonder how it is you come to know the things you know? I was just reading a blog of a girl who lives in London (sort of Bridget Jones-esque) and she mentioned an M&S. I thought to myself, "Oh, that's Marks & Spencer." Immediately afterwards I thought to myself, "How the hell did I know THAT?" I have never once set foot inside a Marks & Spencer. I don't even think I know what they sell. So I have no clue how I came to know this particular piece of information. Perhaps it's mentioned in the Bridget Jones books? Or perhaps my anglophile friend Greenfish has mentioned it?

So somehow I manage to remember the name of an obscure store I've never been to, but can't seem to remember to eat dinner. Sometimes I surprise even myself.

a show of hands

There's something about hands, and I can't quite put my finger on it (hee hee).

I've always had this thing about hands. My own hands are my favorite part of my body. People laugh when I say that, but it's the truth. I like them because they're very feminine and graceful, and despite all of the changes my body has gone through in my lifetime, my hands have stayed exactly the same. When I can't stand the direction my appearance is going in, I can take comfort in the fact that my hands will always look like me.

I've also always had a thing about other peoples' hands. I think hands can reveal a lot about a person. Consequently, if I meet a guy that I am attracted to, but he has ugly hands, I have to take a minute to reconsider my attraction. Tiny hands, clammy hands, short, pudgy fingers, and nail-biters need not apply. These kinds of things are very important. Earlier today I was introduced to a fellow who was quite attractive. However, when I shook his hand, I wasn't sure if I'd grabbed a hand or a raw chicken breast. It wasn't pretty.

I'm not sure about the science behind it, but hands can be very sensual. Maybe it's nerve endings? All I know is that the center of the palm, the inner wrist, and the very tips of the fingers can provide quite a sensual and stimulating experience. Touching hands with someone special, running your fingers across their palm, tickling their wrist, linking fingers and squeezing tight ... playing handsies can be so much more intimate than straight-up makin' out could ever be.

But that's just one girl's opinion.

They have fudge

A coworker just popped his head into my cube and said "We have fudge."

There was a pause.

I looked at him blankly.

Then he added, "Vickie made homemade fudge and it's in our area if you want some."

Oh, now I get it.

because blue is bouncy, and things stick to ugly people

I submit for your enjoyment ...

How does this woman still have a job?
Occasionally in the mornings, I listen to Nine FM on the way to work. I don't particularly care for the music, or the morning "personalities," but considering the mass of crap that passes as morning shows, it's one hundred times better than most of what's out there. Plus, they only have one-minute-long commercial breaks. :) Yeah, who am I kidding? That's really the only reason I listen. But I digress. The morning "personalities" I am confronted with on this station are Steve and Joey. Steve has been an integral part (well, a part anyway) of Chicago radio for quite a long time now, and if you think about it for a minute, you probably know his last name. But Joey. Aaaahh, Joey. She is ... well ... maybe I should cut her a little slack here and say she SOUNDS ... well ... in a word ... dumb. Not counting her I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on laugh, and her lack of intelligent responses to the things her cohost says, here is a list of the best (meaning worst) Joey-isms I have heard in the past two weeks or so:
1) "You're ugly, I'm blue, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." Actually, Joey, it goes, "I'm rubber, you're ..." Oh, nevermind.
2) In a news story about Oprah, referring to her not once, but twice, as Madonna.
3) In the news story about John Kerry's botched Bush "joke," referring to him not once, but twice as John McCain.
4) In a story about a corrupt clergyman (which was just this morning, actually), quoting him as saying he was "sexually immortal." Steve made a joke about this one, but I'm not sure that Joey ever caught on to what exactly she had said.
I have come to the conclusion that even I, the word-stumbler-over, no-quick-response-haver that I am, would make a better morning cohost than our Miss Joey. Not that I'm complaining or anything. At the very least, she gives me a laugh (intended or not) every morning. Sexually immortal indeed.

Whatnot
There are two people who I see nearly every day who have the unexplained habit of adding "and whatnot" after almost everything they say. I'm not sure who picked up the habit from who (or is it whom?), but it's one of those little verbal tics, like saying "like" too much, thatreally tends to get on one's nerves! Here's an exaggerated fictional conversation to illustrate.
Person A: What did you do this weekend?
Person B: I went grocery shopping on Saturday because I needed some eggs and bread and whatnot. Then I stopped at the Post Office because I had to mail my bills and whatnot. I came home and ate dinner and whatnot while I watched the news and whatnot on TV.
Person A: Yeah? What about Sunday?
Person B: Sunday I went to visit my Mom and whatnot at her house and whatnot, and we took her dog and whatnot for a walk and whatnot ...
Seriously. Driving me up the wall ... and whatnot.

Why don't you try it too?
I used the word "circuitous" in a sentence today. Go me!

heart

I love Target!

Just wanted to throw that out there.

I planned on going to Target after work a couple days ago, and all day, I looked forward to that trip. Oh, the things I'd buy!! I needed an over-the-door shoe organizer to free up some much-needed space in my closet. Found it for $12.99! I needed a new shower curtain liner, this time one of the mildew-resistent ones with the metal grommets. Found it for $9.99!! I also bought some more hangers (desperately needed, though they weren't on my list). 13 for $1.99! And I bought a mat for in front of the kitchen sink, which I've been needing forever, but hadn't found one I liked. Found one for $9.99! AND THEN!!! I bought myself a late birthday present. Scene-It!! Yay!! Games!! Anyone wanna come over and play a game?? I'll totally kick your ass! :D

Oh, and a BIG thanks to the girl who rang me up, 1) for opening up a new register so I could get out of the long-ass line I was in, and 2) for making me move to another line, therefore distracting me from the ever-nearing candy counter, from which I undoubtedly would have picked up another few hundred calories as an impulse buy.

Yay!! Target!!

:)

epeolatry

As I moved widdershins around the room, I tried to make sense of the walla-walla of the tohubohu. I got the fantods when I saw the napiform energumen in the corner. His nothosonomia took me by surprise, and of course the esprit d'escalier ocurred to me much later. The eesome ecdysiast was entertaining, but squiffed. I didn't envy the katzenjammer she'd have, but her hallux and her oxter were mesmerizing. I footled around. The facilities were puckeroo and quisquilious, and were out of bumf, and the latrinalia was raunchy. I met a bibliobibulus who'd forgotten to infucate so I could see all her fernticles. She asked me something nudiustertian and I told her to perendinate. There was a psithurism, and the hebdomedal gathering came to an abrupt end when a snollygoster spanghewed.


http://rinkworks.com/words/funwords.shtml

Nyerp should be a word

It should be one of those words like "yoink" that acts as a sound effect for a specific action. Except, unlike "yoink," which is generally used when one person takes something away from another person, "nyerp" would be able to be used for ANY action the user chooses. For example, I click a link on a website, nyerp, I sit down on a chair, nyerp, I flip on a lightswitch, nyerp, I pat the kitty's head, nyerp nyerp. You get the idea.

I say this only because for some reason, this non-word keeps popping into my head when I do these random things, such as locking a door, or pushing a button on the microwave. No idea where it came from.

But we should totally start a petition.

the little things, second installment

2) My Roommate's Cat
Bully, as she is more commonly known, is a funny cat. And I'm not even a cat person. She does some things that never cease to amuse me, such as these: a) she loves to be in the bathroom with me when I am getting ready in the morning. Her favorite thing to do is to jump up on the counter and stand right in front of me, meowing into my face and making it nearly impossible for me to brush my teeth without physically removing her from the counter. Or, what happens more often, is that I will turn on the other faucet just a trickle, so she can go play in that sink, thus distracting her from distracting me and making me late for work. b) her method of jumping onto said bathroom counter is to first jump onto the edge of the bathtup, and then onto the counter. If I close the shower curtain and block her route to the counter, she gets TOTALLY CONFUSED. c) when she misses the counter entirely. Recently, she tried to jump up there and her back legs must have slipped out from under her. She ended up hanging off the edge of the sink by her front paws, struggling in vain to get her (fat) body up where it wanted to be. It didn't work. I held onto her as she finally let go and slid down to the floor. d) her wide variety of meows. Seriously, this cat is ALWAYS talking. I don't know what the hell she's saying, but she sure likes the sound of her own voice. My favorite version is the loud maniacal meow that comes from down the hall when I'm in the living room, followed by the cat running into the room as if she's being chased by the devil himself. Who knows, maybe she is! e) she loves to chase bugs! f) her unconditional love of the ugliest rug in the apartment. If it were up to me, the thing would be chucked out the window and/or burned (the rug, not the cat), but she loves the thing so much, I can't bear to get rid of it ... plus it's not mine to get rid of. g) the fact that she is scared to death of everyone other than my roommate and myself. She runs into his bedroom when she hears someone ring the buzzer. There's a million other things that this cat does that make me laugh, but I am having a brain fart right now and this is all I can think of. More to follow perhaps.

3) The phrase "brain fart."
Especially when it's used by older, "grown-up" type people. At work.

the little things

I think it is important to remember the little things in life that keep you amused. Because sometimes when it seems like the world is out to get you, the only thing that will convince you that all is not thunderstorms and stepping in poop, is one of those funny little things that happens every once in a while that makes you smile despite yourself. This is why I am going to begin using this blog to keep track of those things for myself. So when I'm having "one of those days," I can refer back here, and hopefully I won't be tempted anymore to jab a sharp metal instrument into my eye socket.

Here's the first one.

1) Office Intercom
We have a paging system here at work, and most of the time, it works relatively well. The things that amuse me about it, however, are as follows: a) when one person begins a page, gets cut off by a page from another location, then has to begin their page all over again, trying very hard not to have an annoyed tone in their voice, b) the people who don't know how to pronouce a person's name, so when they repeat the name and extention for the second time, they say it completely different than the first, just to cover their bases, c) the people who stop mid-page because they forgot which extention they were paging to, d) when the extentions being paged to mysteriously have 5 digits, even though all extentions are only 4, and e) (my favorite) "John Smith, please call extention 1234, John Smith, extention ... Oh, there you are!"