Road Stories

Every so often, many of my thoughts on recent events align and have a certain theme. This is one of those moments.

1. Homeless guy
Yesterday I did something that I don't do very often. I gave a dollar to a guy on the street. If you'd like to know which guy exactly, read this post. This is the guy that got down ON HIS KNEE one time as I was passing by in my car. I see him at this corner all the time. I really have no idea what made me decide to give him money on this day and not on any of the other occasions I have passed him by, but whatever the reason, I did it. But that really isn't the interesting part of the story. The part that was interesting to me is what happened afterwards. Or rather, what didn't happen. So, I'm sitting at the red light fumbling with my purse looking for a dollar (change is just so insulting), he sees me and stops hopefully next to the car. I signal to him that I want to give him something, but meanwhile, the light turns green and the cars in front of me go through. I fumble a bit more, expecting the cars behind me to get restless, I eventually get the dollar, roll the window down, and hand it to him. So what was it that was so interesting to me? Nobody honked. Not one person behind me seemed to mind that I held up traffic for a good 10 seconds or more to give a dollar to a homeless guy. Is this really how people are?? If so, I love people.

2. Walking Man
On my way to work every morning I tend to see the same people over and over again. I don't know them, so I usually give them names like Bus Stop Guy or Big Hair Lady. There is one guy who I always see walking down the street in the opposite direction as me. Pretty much every morning. I can tell if I am running late or not by where along the road I see this Walking Man. I realized the other day just how much I really notice these familiar strangers when I saw Walking Man and thought to myself, "Oh look, Walking Man got a haircut."

3. Napkins
This actually happened almost 5 years ago, but the image has always just kinda stuck with me. I was driving into the city to go to my internship and it was very early in the morning. I can't be exactly sure what happened, but from what I could tell, a truck had dropped something from its load that had landed in the middle of the highway. As I got closer, I realized it was a large bundle of brown paper napkins. These napkins, however they had been packaged together, had come undone ... and they were everywhere ... blanketing the ground, floating up around all of the cars, spinning in circles as everyone rushed by on their way to work. And for some reason, I found this scene incredibly beautiful. They looked like swarms of giant butterflies and there were millions of them everywhere I looked. If anyone has seen American Beauty, it reminded me of the video of the plastic bag floating in the breeze ... one of those random, unexpected, incredibly breathtaking moments that can never be duplicated.

4. Driving Lady
Jillybean, DH and I were driving into the burbs for a get-together just last weekend, and I was sitting in the passengers seat. I normally don't make it a point to look into any of the other cars as they drive by, but as one particular car passed us, something caught my eye. I looked over to my right and the lady next to us was looking right into our car. She had been looking, then she looked back at the road, then turned and looked again. And she was smiling! Jillybean also noticed this the same time I did. I don't know what it was about this lady, I don't know what she was thinking about when she looked at us that made her smile, but I found it very touching. And then it made me smile. (Man, I can be really cheesy sometimes.)

5. The High Road
As a general comment, sometimes it really sucks to take the high road when all you want to do is pull someone's hair out. I wish it were socially acceptable to take the low road once in a while. Just sayin' is all.

Peanut Gallery??

Sniff. I don't think I have one. So sad. :(

Well at least I'm not a Scientologist

So, Miss Kristi posted a link to this religion quiz on her blog yesterday, and I was just too curious. Due to my seemingly unclassifiable beliefs and my issues with organized religion in general, I was very interested to see how I stacked up against all the known religions out there. It was quite an interesting quiz, though I found some of the questions to be a bit limiting. You also get to rate the importance of the question topics, which was kind of cool, and something I had never seen before in quizzes of this type. As far as the results, I actually wasn't too surprised what I came up with. I had read a couple things about this particular religion and if I had to choose today which religion to align myself with, and "none" was not an option, I'd probably choose these guys. So in case you're curious, here are my results:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (98%)
3. Liberal Quakers (95%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (80%)
5. Neo-Pagan (79%)
6. Bahá'í Faith
7. New Age (75%)
8. Reform Judaism (73%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (71%)
10. New Thought (69%)
11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (67%)
12. Scientology (62%)
13. Sikhism (61%)
14. Taoism (59%)
15. Secular Humanism (58%)
16. Jainism (58%)
17. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (56%)
18. Hinduism (53%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (48%)
20. Orthodox Quaker (47%)
21. Islam (43%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (42%)
23. Jehovah's Witness (41%)
24. Nontheist (36%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (25%)
26. Roman Catholic (25%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (23%)

Also not surprising was the lateness on the list of Roman Catholic, Conservative Christian/Protestant, and Orthodox anything. So now I suddenly want to do all this research into religions, just to learn about them and what it is they actually stand for ... mostly because I have never even HEARD of half the things on this list! :)

Peace.

Finals Week

So, it's definitely been a while since I've been in school (5 years. Yeesh!), but yesterday, I felt like I had just finished my last final and was on my way home for summer vacation. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

Over the last three days (not counting the weeks and weeks of prep) I have been in training for an NDIA Configuration Data Management Certification. Man, that's a mouthful. In a nutshell, I was basically studying about 20 or so Military Standards dealing with procedures that had close to nothing to do with my job. Why my boss insisted this was necessary is still beyond me, but I just do what he tells me and don't ask questions. :) Well, not really, but in this case, I really didn't have a choice. So, we get a listing of the documents we have to study ahead of time, and then for two days, NDIA (National Defense Industrial Association) sends an instructor to our facility and we go through the study guide and review the important points. Then ... dun dun DUN ... there's an EXAM!!! An exam that lasts for an ENTIRE day. That's right, folks. 8 full hours (well, almost) of true/false, multiple choice, matching, and essay questions. Bluurgh.

The people who were taking this exam who had tons more experience than me were soooo nervous about it, which sort of made me nervous. But having still been the freshest out of school, I looked at this as taking a class on something I wasn't too familiar with and being tested on it. Not too too scary, but stressful none the less. One unexpected surprise (both good and bad) was that I actually was not getting certified. In order to qualify to take the actual certification test, you needed a minimum of 5 years experience in Configuration or Data Management. I have just over a year. I guess my boss thought I could somehow get around this requirement, but no dice. I found out the first day of the review that I would only be taking an apprentice examination, which wouldn't certify me, but would be considerably easier. Easier test = good. No certification after so many hours of studying = not good. Having to retake the test in its entirity anyway after I do receive 5 years experience = not good. The not good definitely outweighs the good, but whatever.

So, the test was yesterday and it went ... okay. It was T O U G H. We need to get 70% to pass, and the average score for the apprentice exam is 71%!!! That seemed really low to me. Many of the multiple choice questions were super hard. And the true/false were brutal. The matching questions were a joke (basically free points if you could match an acronym with what it stood for - umm, yes, I learned my alphabet before kindergarten, thankyouverymuch). Esaay questions - some were hard, others, not so hard. Anyway, I won't find out how I did for at least two weeks, which kinda stinks, but hey, what can I do now anyway? Stressing about how I did won't change anything. It's done and on its way and now my part is over with.

So now, the idea of going back to normal life and resuming business as usual is soooo wonderful. And the fact that its Friday and I get to go home early is oh so nice. Ahhhh.

Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah today ...

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but I just can't stop thinking about marriage and having kids and a family and a dog and picket fence and all that jazz. Well, I partially know where it's coming from. The woman who sits in the cube across from me is getting married this summer and is neck deep in wedding plans, so I'm hearing all about that. But other than that, I guess I've just come to that age when this stuff seems to be more important than it ever was before.

I've always had mixed opinions about marriage. I've never really been sure if it's for me. Partly because my pessimistic side thinks I'll never be able to find someone willing to marry me (and of course, that I am willing to marry). And partly because I've seen so many failed marriages, or even marriages that perhaps should have failed but managed to "succeed" even though both parties were unhappy for the majority of it. I mean, is it worth it? When there's kids involved, are they really better off with two parents who are constantly at each others' throats, or would they have happier childhoods if their parents were separated/divorced but happier as single people, or in other relationships? I just don't know.

But divorce isn't really what I intended to write about here. My point is that I think I finally detected my tiny little biological clock. I don't know if you really have one of those for getting married, but marriage is (generally) the beginning of the whole "starting a family" thing, so I think it relates. Now don't get me wrong, I've always (always always) wanted to have a wedding and walk down the aisle in the gorgeous white dress with all my family and friends present, and then throw a really big party. But in that dream, the groom's face has always been mysteriously blank, except for the big-ass smile on his face when he turns to see me coming down the aisle towards him. For the most part, this fantasy has kept me pretty happy because it always only meant one day of fun, then the honeymoon and then that was it. But lately I've been thinking a lot about marriage. I mean MARRIAGE marriage. (Geez, if you say that too many times it sounds really wierd.) You know, where you find the one person who you want to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with, and then you do just that. And then in the middle somewhere, you decide to create another little person (or two) together. One who is half you and half your partner. I mean, it's kind of a crazy concept when you think about it, but it is so hardwired into our heads and so instinctual, that even the most hermit-like of loners I am sure has wanted that at some point or other.

I have several friends who are happily married. At times I envy them for that. I enjoy my (perpetual) singledom most of the time, but some days I start to wonder how much longer it is going to go on. Maybe I'd like to have someone to take care of, and who will take care of me. Maye one day I'd like to have a baby. Whether it's merely a biological desire to pass on my genes, or I really want to usher another person through this crazy-wierd "life" thing, I don't know. But I think that the small part of me that wants to do the so-called normal thing of getting married and having kids is growing a little bit stronger. I look at my friends with children (and those who are planning to soon have children) and instead of thinking, "Man, I am not ready for that," I find myself thinking "I wonder if I'll ever have that?"

I am wrong about a lot of things, and a lot of people. I let my imagination run away with me. I meet someone and I assign them a role in my head. Occasionally someone will be cast as the love interest, but they generally drop out before rehearsals even begin. Even less often, someone I've known as a friend for a while will decide midway through the production to take off his mask. I'll see something in him that I never saw before. I'll think about recasting, but before I can sign the papers, he'll put the mask back on again. Only it's slightly askew. He'll never look quite the same to me and I'll always wonder if he's playing the right part. I can't help thinking that so many people in my life have been miscast. But in this crazy mixed up theatre in my head, there's nothing I can do about it. My whole life thus far has just been Act I, and I'll never get to Act II because I am incapable of casting the lead.

Sorry for the metaphors here folks, but I just can't think of a better way to talk about this. Anyway, I think the point of this entry is that my views on marriage and children and families etc. are changing. I'm finding myself wanting things I've never really wanted (or thought I wanted) before, and I don't know what to do about it. People are looking different to me. Life is looking different to me. I know I'm in kind of an odd mood today (I described it to a friend at work as feeling like I've stepped into someone else's life), so maybe that has something to do with it. But no, this is something I've been thinking about for a while. But I don't know. My thoughts are really scattered and I wouldn't be surprised if this whole entry is complete gibberish. But after all, I am mostly writing this for myself, to get my thoughts out. If someone happens to read it, what do I care? If they understand and/or relate, then good. I'm glad I could say something that actually meant something to someone. If nobody understands what the hell I am talking about, then join the club, because I don't think I know either. Then again, I never do.

Woo hoo! Got one!!

Though I may have done this one before. Can't remember ...

1. What is your full name: Heidi Lynn *beep*

2. What color trousers are you wearing now: plain black

3. What are you listening to right now? People talking a few cubicles away.

4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? Hmm, TMI, I think? So we'll do my work number, which would be 00.

5. What was the last thing you ate: Just finished a Snicker's bar

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've done this one before. Oh well. Silver, I think.

7. How is the weather right now: Haven't been outside in a while and I have no windows, but I think it's warmish, but cloudy.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone: My dad.

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex: Eyes and smile.

10. Favorite Drink: Cranberry juice

11. Favorite Alcoholic drink: Martinis - the fancy flavored ones

12. Favorite Sport: Volleyball

13. Hair Color: Brown

14. Eye Color: Brown

15. Do you wear contacts: Nope

16. Favorite Month: September

17. Favorite Food: My Mom's pot roast

18. Last Movie you watched: Batman Begins

19. Favorite Day of the Year: My birthday!! Or maybe Christmas.

20. Are you too shy to ask someone out: Nope, but it does take some mustering of the courage.

21. Summer or Winter: Summer, except when it's fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk hot

22. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs

23. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

24. Do you want your friends to respond back: Sure

25. Who is most likely to respond: Nobody, probably

26. Who is least likely to respond: Umm, everyone

27. What books are you reading: Oddly enough, I'm not reading anything at the moment, except my Configuration Data Management Certification study guide. Just finished reading "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency."

28. What's on your mouse pad: It's plain black

29. Favorite Board Game: You can be a winner at the Game of Life!!

30. What did you do last night: Visited my parents, ate dinner on the porch and watched "Lost" with my Mom.

31. Favorite Smells: Lilacs, Christmas trees, Strawberry Shortcake dolls (brings back memories of my childhood), baking bread, rain, birthday candles

32. Who inspires you? My friends and family

33. Buttered, plain or salted popcorn: Caramel

34. Favorite Flower: Lilacs, Daisies, Tulips, wildflowers

35. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? I don't think I actually "say" anything until I get to work - unless I talk to the cat. If I'm talking to the cat, I'm usually telling her to be quiet. When she wants it to be, her meow is the loudest I've ever heard!!

36. Do you still talk to your best friend from high school? I had 4 best friends in high school. 3 of whom I still talk to and see on a very regular basis.

37. Pets: My roommate's cat. And my roommate. :)

38. Rock Concert or Symphony: Rock and Roll, baby!!

39. Play or Opera: Play

40. Have you ever fired a gun: Nope, but I might in the future. I'd like to learn.

41. Do you like to travel by plane? Yes.

42. Right-handed or Left-handed: Right

43. Smooth Peanut Butter or Chunky? Either.

44. How many pillows do you sleep with: 1 under my head and 1 on the other side of the bed.


Hmm, this was kind of boring actually. No really challenging or unusual questions. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Cheers!

lalalala

Somebody send me a survey. It's been a while. And I'm bored.

Getting out the door

Since my past is so much more interesting than my present these days, I thought I'd share an amusing "day in the life" story from a couple years ago. Here goes ...

I was living with my parents (and brother) when they decided to put in hardwood floors on the main floor of the house. We had already been displaced for a day or two because of the fumes from the varnish, and had just come back to the house. My dad was not exactly happy with the finished product, so he called the guys again and asked them to put on another coat or two of the polyurethane finish. Supposedly, this would only take a couple of hours to dry and we would not be inconvenienced at all. The day the guy showed up to put the finish on, my brother and I were both at home and my parents were at work. It was pretty early in the morning when the guy called upstairs to let us know he was going to start. He needed to warn us because since we were upstairs, we wouldn't be able to get downstairs or out of the house until it dried. The wood floor began at the bottom of the stairs. So I thought, Well, it'll take a couple hours to dry and I'm not planning on leaving until later, so no big deal, I'll jut stay up here and take my time getting myself ready. I yelled back down to him, "Okay, that's fine." The guy seemed a bit confused, but I thought nothing of it and went about my business. Later, when he had finished working, he called back up to say he was done ... and that the floor would be safe to walk on in about 6 hours. 6 hours??!! 6 hours is not a couple!! I don't know where the person who told me "a couple" had gotten their information, but it was dead wrong. I tried to hide my surprise, but I was more than a little miffed. Especially since I had made plans to go to a movie with friends and had to leave in LESS than 6 hours. How the hell was I going to get out of my house?? Shortly after this news, my brother got up, and was faced with exactly the same dilemma. He also had to leave and had no way of doing so. At least that's what I thought. Apparently when we had the floors finished the first time, Butthead (my brother) had stayed at the house and had figured out a way to get outside without stepping on the wet floors. Our front door was at the bottom of the stairs, at a right angle from the bottom step, but the handle was at the opposite end, so when the door was open, it blocked the foot of the stairs, if you can picture that. So what Butthead did was reach over and open the door, then grab the top corner of the door and hang on while pushing off the bottom step, swinging himself out towards the open doorway and hooking his foot on the doorstep to pull himself all the way out. Sounds like a simple enough concept, but when I watched him do it, even he, a much younger, skinner, more muscular person than I, had some serious trouble and almost didn't make it. No way could I do that. I was (and still am) Out. Of. Shape. So I thought of another plan. When the floors were finished the first time, we had this board that we put up between the bottom step and the living room, which was across the entry-way (not a jumpable distance, in case you were wondering). I told Butthead to go to the garage and get the board and we could put that up for me to walk across. Unfortunately, he said that was impossible since he could barely lift the thing and it had taken essentially three people to put it up the first time, and even that had been hard. Umm, okay. Back to the drawing board. My next thought was actually kind of exciting as it's something I've always wanted to do. Since living in that house, I always figured that if there was ever a fire and I couldn't get out of my bedroom, in order to escape, I would go out my window onto the roof over the front porch and jump down to the ground. It was only one story, and the slant of the roof made it slightly less than that. So I told my bro the plan and went upstairs and onto the roof. Well, sitting up there with the actual intention of jumping was not as much fun as I thought it would be, and it's really quite a bit higher than I thought it was. Risking broken ankles to escape a fire is one thing, but risking broken ankles to get to a movie on time is another thing altogether. And not something I really wanted to test. So let's see ... a ladder!! I needed a ladder! My bro said he had used one recently to get back IN the house after being out late (sneak), but couldn't find it, so he attempted to get the big aluminum one down from the garage wall. I have no idea how my Dad does this, but apparently my bro was incapable of getting it down. But no matter, Butthead found the ladder he had used and brought it so it was directly underneath me. Unfortunately, it was UNDERNEATH me. As in 3 or 4 feet underneath MY dangling feet. And the wooden "platform" on the very top of the rickety ladder was cracked in half. Umm, no. Again, risking broken bones was not something I was willing to do that day. So, I was out of options. The only possibility that remained was to attempt the acrobatics that my brother had performed earlier with the front door. So I went downstairs, took a deep breath and decided to go for it. Butthead assured me that it wasn't really that hard and he thought I could do it no problem, but he'd be right there in case I needed him. So I opened the door, grabbed on to the top of it, and swung myself around so that I could hook my foot on the doorstep and pull myself out the door. Only problem was, once I got my foot hooked on, the door started to swing back INWARD and I was thisclose to landing in a crumpled heap on the still very wet floor and having the Wrath Of Dad upon me for ruining it. The only thing I could think of was to yell "Grab me!!" to my brother. He grabbed the back of my shirt and literally pulled me out the door before I could lay a toe on the newly finished hardwood. I DID IT!!! WE DID IT!! We made it out of the house!! I never thought I would be as happy to be outside my house as I was on that day. Then again, I never thought it would ever be as HARD to get out of the house as it was on that day.

A major obstacle was overcome, but my day did not get easier. It was quite a comedy of errors, actually. I wanted to call my Mom to tell her how long the floor was going to take to dry, but my cell phone went dead before I could say anything. I went to the ATM, but it was out of order and I had to go out of my way to find another one. I didn't know which showing of the movie we were going to because I hadn't heard back from my friends before I left ... and my cell phone was dead. When I got to the theater, I didn't see them, so I described them to the guy behind the ticket counter. He assured me that they had come in and were at the showing that was about to start, so I bought my ticket and went in. They were nowhere to be seen. I sat down, resigning myself to the fact that I'd be seeing the movie alone, but before the coming attractions had even finished, my friends came bounding into the theater only slightly later than they thought they'd be. At least ONE thing worked out well that day.

So at the end of the adventure, when I saw my family at dinner that evening, for once I actually had something interesting to say when Mom asked, "How was your day, sweetie?"

I promise!!

I am really going to try and write in this thing more often. This posting every couple weeks thing has got to stop or I will start to lose my loyal readers!! All three of you!! :)

Well, the news today is that there still isn't any news. I went to see my rheumatologist on Monday and I have him seriously stumped. I described my pain to him in as much detail as I could muster (which is an accomplishment in and of itself since I usually become a mute as soon as I step into the office, and can't seem to remember how to describe things in a coherent way), but my symptoms rang no bells to him. He did tell me that the first thing he would have thought if I didn't have the history that I had was that it was muscles. So what he did was prescribe some muscle relaxers for me to take at bedtime and see if it helped the pain, and meanwhile he would be taking a second look at my most recent MRI results with the radiologist to see if there's something that they may have missed. Basically, he has no idea what's wrong with me. Heh. So what else is new, right? Anyway, I've been taking the muscle relaxers at night and nothing has changed, so unless the guy calls me with some epiphany they've had, I'm going to go back to my general practitioner and see what he has to say. I kinda trust him more anyway. Meanwhile I'll keep popping the ibuprofen until it just doesn't work anymore.

Well, I was gonna write more, but it was all boring stuff, so I'll just stop here and spare you. :) You can thank me later.

What is the world coming to?

What I love about movies:

"The film of tomorrow appears to me as even more personal than an individual and autobiographical novel, like a confession, or a diary. The young filmmakers will express themselves in the first person and will relate what has happened to them. It may be the story of their first love or their most recent; of their political awakening; the story of a trip, a sickness, their military service, their marriage, their last vacation...and it will be enjoyable because it will be true, and new...The film of tomorrow will not be directed by civil servants of the camera, but by artists for whom shooting a film constitutes a wonderful and thrilling adventure. The film of tomorrow will resemble the person who made it, and the number of spectators will be proportional to the number of friends the director has. The film of tomorrow will be an act of love." — François Truffaut, published in Arts magazine, May 1957

What I hate about movies:

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Directed byDavid R. Ellis
Genre: Horror / Thriller / Action
Tagline: Relax. They're first class fliers.
Plot Outline: On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, lets loose a crate full of deadly snakes. (from IMDB.com)


Note: One redeeming quality of this perfect example of how Hollywood is the devil, is the message board on the bottom of the IMDB page. Specifically, the threads entitled "Dude, Seriously" and "Very Offensive!!!"