a new perspective

I did some reflecting on New Year's Eve after returning home from the party circuit, and I came to a new conclusion about myself. Something I've never really considered before, but makes a lot of sense.

I think I want to be single.

I was watching some crappy movie a few weeks ago, in which a father imparts the wisdom to his daughter that people have the love life that they want to have. Meaning, you create the situation in which you are most comfortable. Now there are some serious holes in this reasoning, I know, but it does have a grain of truth in it. And when applied to my life, it fits. I remain single because that is how I am comfortable, it's what I know how to do, and it gives me room to find what makes me happy without pinning all my hopes and dreams on someone else. If I was seriously unhappy, and needed that relationship to feel complete or fulfilled, then I would have it. I would be trying a lot harder to find someone. And even if I was failing, I would still be going on a lot more dates, flirting with a lot more people, and just generally putting myself out there a lot more. And the truth is, I'm not doing any of those things. I've never signed up with an Internet dating site, I don't particularly like set-ups, and after numerous failures (and the conclusion that I repeatedly pick the wrong people), I resolved quite some time ago that I would no longer ask anyone out. I wanted to let them come to me. I reverted back to the old-fashioned idea of the male as the pursuer. I figured that since I always picked the wrong people, maybe a person who pick me would be right. But ... well ... that didn't really work either. Not to mention was totally lazy.

So I guess what I'm saying is, my passive approach to dating and relationships speaks volumes about what it is I really want. I'm not willing to work for it, so it must not be that important to me, right? Anyway, assuming I don't completely abandon this new way of thinking in, like, a week or something, you will see a whole lot less whining on this website in the year to come.

Reflections on 2008

My favorite new things about 2008:

- New Prez Obama!
- New apartment!
- New car!
- New job!
- New babies (NOT MINE!! Shoutouts to Dex and Olivia. Love you kiddos.)

Some fave experiences of 2008:

- Seeing a friend's shocked face at her surprise baby shower
- Cuatro de Mayo at El Mariachi with margaritas the size of your head
- Going to the Sex and the City movie with the girls
- Visiting a friend in the hospital while she was IN LABOR!!
- Being almost able to see Stevie Wonder on the jumbo screen if I stood on my tippy-toes at the Taste of Chicago
- 4th of July barbecue with a good friend's family
- Baton Club - transvestites are awesome
- Getting drenched to the bone while attempting to watch Blues Brothers in the park
- Lollapalooza - and seeing Gogol Bordello twice in one day - insanity, I tell you
- Celebrating a good friend being 5 years cancer-free
- Celebrating my Mom being 5 years cancer-free
- Mars Cheese Castle!!! And Jelly Belly side trip!! And the pyramid house!
- Roller Derby and lots of Jack Daniels
- Having a good old fashioned pajama party for my birthday
- Our fantastically awesome Gogol Bordello Halloween costumes
- Kristkindlmarket on the day after Thanksgiving
- A whole weekend of baking Christmas cookies with my Mom
- My little bro unexpectedly (to me) coming home for the holidays

Some of the not-so-good parts of 2008 that should be reflected upon:

- My Grandma passed away this year - she was 90 and had a long, full life, but she will be missed
- My never-ending health issues
- Car debacle - the century-old water mains of Chicago had it in for me this year
- Recession - even the cost of the washers/dryers in my building went up
- Blagojevich - and we were just getting used to being proud to be from Illinois ...
- Several of my good friends moved away
- Packing up and moving AGAIN - not to mention apartment hunting in sub-zero temperatures

I don't make New Year's resolutions, but if I did I would resolve to:

- Meet a lot of new people
- Think of ways to save money and plan on taking a trip abroad, maybe England or Ireland
- Learn to cook and try new healthy recipes (already started this one and made a positively yummy salmon dish the other day)
- Get my apartment in shape because I plan to stay there for some time

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope 2009 is fantastic, especially to all 2 of you who read this blog! ;)