car love

I feel like I have a brand new car.

Well, not quite. But I feel like I have a slightly nicer car than I had before, even though it's actually the same car. Just better. Let me explain. My car is old. And when cars get old, things start to happen to them, just like people. The thing that was happening to my car (well, ONE of the things that was happening) was that the windows were fogging up WAY TOO MUCH. On a cold winter morning, I could not escape the fog on my windows. I tried every possible combination of settings on my heater, but to no avail. The defroster would clear the windshield enough for me to see out of, but the side windows would get completely fogged up, all the way to the back of the car, and then of course that fog would freeze to the window and become frost, which is not so easily removed when you're driving down the highway at 80 mph. Changing lanes and turning became not only difficult, but downright dangerous. It started doing this last year or the year before, and was getting progressively worse each winter. So I asked my Dad, cause he's a Dad and just inherently knows more about these kinds of things than I do, and he suggested I stop breathing when I'm in the car. Or build myself a garage. Seriously. These were the things he said to me. But when I told him that half the city does not park in garages, and I'm pretty sure I don't breathe any more than any of them, yet the other cars I see on the highway have delightlfully clear windows, we decided to explore other possibilities. In a sudden brain wave, he said he thought maybe it was the thermostat stuck in the open position, and that I should take it in to the shop at the dealership. So I did. And lo and behold, I do not have to stop breathing after all because it was indeed the thermostat.

So anyway, I dropped the car off on Saturday and they checked it out. They said they had the part in stock, but they'd need to keep the car until Monday. Ummmm, okay, whatever. But they had a loaner car for me to use until then. And let me tell you, driving a car with an automatic transmission and power steering is living in the lap of luxury. I felt utterly lazy because the car was doing all the work and all I had to do was sit behind the wheel and pretend to steer. However, my experience driving this unfamiliar car for three days was quite ... funny. First of all, I forgot to grab my I-Pass out of my car before I left it at the dealership (not to mention my apartment keys, but that's another story), so when I drove home, I had to go through the regular toll booth and pay in cash. So I got up to the booth, rolled down my window and had my hand hanging out with money in it, when suddenly, the little blue light came on, the gate opened and the toll-booth-lady waved me through! What?! This car has an I-Pass? Where is it? I don't see it! I opened every compartment I could find looking for the thing (which I do not recommend while actually driving), including the glove box, where I only found some papers and a mostly-gone roll of toilet paper. Hm. This car has an invisible I-Pass* ... but ... um ... doesn't have a horn.** Wait, what? How can a car not have a horn? I swear I looked everywhere on that steering wheel and did not find a horn, only cruise control and an airbag. So my weird little automatic-everything loaner car had an invisible I-Pass but had no horn. And I couldn't read the spedometer because it was digital and placed right behind the top edge of the steering wheel in my line of sight. And the wheel wasn't adjustable, so I had to continuously peek over the top of it in order to make sure I wasn't speeding, which I almost always was. And I couldn't figure out how to adjust the bass on the radio until Monday evening. But about that radio? I swear to Jeebus it had some sort of mechanism that adjusted the volume up when the car was moving, and down when it was standing still! Magic awesomeness!

So after living the good life in a weird little automatic-everything loaner car for a couple days, it was time to give it up and get my own car back. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know if the problem was going to be fixed, but honestly, I kinda missed the little bastard. So I picked it up, and 1) it heated up and the windows didn't fog up!!! 2) they had washed it!!! and 3) the radio didn't work anymore. *** I went to my parents' for dinner that night, and my Dad changed the bulb in the headlight for me, which had gone out weeks ago, and I'd bought a replacement but couldn't figure out how to get the old one out (in my defense, Dad had some serious difficulty with this as well). Then I filled up the tank and went on my way.

So I drove home last night in a car that was clean, and warm, and had clear windows, two headlights and a full tank of gas. Aside from the radio thing, I was a very happy girl.



* Upon further investigation (meaning my Dad asked the guy at the dealership when he called), we discovered that they affix all of their loaner cars with an I-Pass in the grille of the car. Again, magic awesomeness!

** I think I was accidentally on crack on Saturday night, because Monday morning, I found the horn. But they made it seriously difficult to find. In the center of the steering wheel was the silver Honda logo. Below that, stamped in the black vinyl was the airbag label. And below THAT, nearly unnoticeable, was a teeny tiny horn symbol.

*** Um, yeah, the radio actually does work, I'm just a moron.

stop me if you've heard this one ...

The other day I was perusing the 'net and came across this blog entry about jokes and kids and kids' jokes. The writer was asking the Internet Audience to help her expand her arsenal of good jokes to tell her kids. As I read the responses in my cubicle at work, I laughed out loud, many times, so I thought I'd share some of the funnier ones ...

Interrupting Jokes:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrup ...
Moo!!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish.
Interrup ...
(Joker puts starfish-like hand over victim's face.)

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Automatic interrupting owl.

(hee hee)

Pirate Jokes:

Have you seen the new pirate movie?
It's rated ARRRR!

What's a pirate's favorite food?
ARRR-dee-chokes!

What's a pirate's favorite holiday?
ARRRR-bor Day!

Jokes involving things that are brown:

What's round and brown and lives in the forest?
Winnie the Poop.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
(one of my favorites)

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
You eat your poo??

Jokes involving things that are green:

What's green and goes "slam, slam, slam, slam?"
A four-door pickle.

What's green and has 18 wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.

More Knock Knock Jokes:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say "Control freak who?"
(love that one)

This next one is not funny at all, but apparently the submitter's daughter tried to retell right it afterwards and her version is much funnier.

Original:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Is a bell necessary on a bike?
(See? Not funny.)

Botched version:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
... um, necessary on a bike.
What happened to Isabelle?
She fell off.
(Genius.)

Random Funnies:

What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts.

Why aren't clowns cannibals?
They taste funny.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam!

Did you hear about the guy who was in a really bad accident and lost the whole left side of his body?
He's all right now.

Nurse: Doctor, there's an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now.

Where did the general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Whoo, it's hot in here!" The second muffin says, "AAAGH!! A talking muffin!!"

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Good food, no atmosphere.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?

Two blonds are standing on either side of a river. One blond says to the other, "How do I get to the other side?" The blond answers, "You ARE on the other side!"

Slightly Inappropriate:

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?
Nothing. You already told her once.
(wince)

Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the sh#t out of their dogs.

WTF?:

What's yellow and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested banana pudding!

Ask me if I'm a doctor.
Are you a doctor?
No.

blog sounds like bog and log

(This entry is written entirely in the stream-of-consciousness style. I gave myself a topic, "Blogging," and just ran with it. I did not reread what I had written until I was completely finished, and, aside from a word or two, did not change anything after I typed it. Here's what resulted ...)

A friend and I were having a discussion last weekend about just how odd this whole blogging thing is. Not so much the writing of the blogs, which, though different than most of the other writing I have done in my life, comes pretty easily. I mean, who doesn't enjoy talking about themselves? But the reading of other peoples' blogs brings up some very interesting quandries. Let's say you discover a blog of a person who you do not know, but you enjoy their writing style, so you go on their site every so often and read it just to hear what they have to say. Nothing too strange or complicated about that. But in the process of reading their blog, you, in a way, get to know a lot about who this person is, at their core, this person who you've never even met face-to-face, inadvertantly becomes a part of your life. It's almost like they become a celebrity. If after reading their blog for a while, you finally do meet this person in some random, wierd coincidence, how would you feel? If it were me, I'd feel like I was meeting someone famous, simply because I know all these things about them and their life and they don't know me from Eve. But maybe that's just me. What my friend and I were actually talking about is when you discover that someone you actually DO know has a blog, and you begin to read it. They recount stories of what has been happening in their life, share opinions and thoughts, and you read them. Does this count as a conversation? Technically, you're getting caught up on their life, but they don't know it, so where does that leave you? I have several friends whose blogs I read pretty regularly (see list at right), so I know some stuff about what they're doing ... what they choose to share anyway ... but when I see them in my real life, I feel a little bit wierd saying, "Hey, I read on your blog that blah blah blah." It makes me feel kind of stalkerish. So instead, I'll just pretend that everything they tell me is new news since I have not technically been told yet. Is that strange, or do other people feel that way too? This friend and I talked about how this is like the newest form of communication where you're not even directing your communications to any one individual, but simply out into the void, for whoever wants to know. Is that a comment on our society today? I don't know. Are we getting too lazy to pick up a phone and call our friends, so we write a blog instead, or do we blog for other reasons entirely? Probably the latter, but I think the strangeness of the blogosphere is something very interesting to think about. Oh, and then of course there's MySpace. Sure, it's just another venue to blog, create a profile, and basically advertise yourself for ... I don't know what. But it's another thing that can put you in the unreal position of knowing someone without actually knowing them. Or knowing things about someone you do know without them personally telling you. One of my stranges experiences has been finding out that two of my friends were dating via MySpace. (Not meaning they had an "online" relationship, but that I found out about it via MySpace, just to clarify.) There is just something unsettling about that. Perhaps it upset me that MySpace knew about their relationship before I did, personally. Or perhaps it again just made me feel like a voyeur. But thinking about it now, I feel like these real friendships have somehow morphed into online friendhips through MySpace, and that makes me feel cheated somehow. My cousin recently posted a bulletin about disconnecting yourself from MySpace, and instead calling your friends up personally. Purge yourself of those "friends" who only have you on their list to add another number. The ones you want to keep, get their phone numbers, or even just e-mail addresses, and contact them personally. Then disconnect from the electronic friendships, in order to reconnect to the real, tangible friendships. It's a good idea. But I'll probably never do it. My cousin probably wasn't going to do it either, even though she proposed the idea. And I really couldn't tell you why, for either of us. Maybe in a few years, the world will tire of the weblog, and the online-profile-friend-space-type websites. I kind of hope so, as hypocritical as that may sound, being a blogger/MySpacer myself.

The End.

2006

Well. What can I say about 2006 that hasn't been said before? He was a good year, he treated people well, he always had a kind word ... ah, screw it, who am I kidding? 2006 was a bastard and I'm glad he's dead. Yeah, I said it. And I'm sure a good number of you out there were thinking it, too.

Okay, so that was a little harsh. But the truth of the matter is that I really am glad that 2006 is over. It was a tumultuous year for me.

One of the biggest issues for me this past year was my health. My Takayasu's Arteritis had reared its ugly head again in September of 2005, and the majority of 2006 was spent trying to combat that. I started off on the right foot early on with some good test results and the news that my doc was taking me off Prednisone. However, when my dose got low again, I had more pain. I wasn't sure if it was related, but my blood tests showed elevated levels, so my doc raised my dose again. This time, he had the intention of switching me from Prednisone to Methotrexate as a maintenance drug. After being on both for a while, he gradually tapered me down on the Prednisone again in hopes that the Methotrexate would take over and keep me healthy. It didn't. The pain came back and I was back to square one. In the last month of the year, I was put back on Prednisone after having only been off it for a month, and now we only have one last hope for an alternative. Soon I will be put on Enbrel, and we'll see how I react to it. I don't know if it will have any wierd side effects like the Prednisone, or if it will even do its job and keep the inflammation down. And I'm kind of scared because Enbrel doesn't come in pill form, so I'll have to give myself injections once a week, which I've never done before. It's not that I'm afraid of needles or anything ... I've just never had to stick MYSELF with one. And who wants to do that, really? But anyway, it's a new beginning. 2006 was a year of ups and downs on the disease front. When I was on Prednisone, I felt well, but was emotionally down and extremely self-conscious because of what the drug does to my appearance. When I wasn't on it, sure, I looked great, but I was usually in pain, often nauseous, sometimes to the point of keeping me from doing things I wanted to do, like be with my friends. It was a constant trade-off, and I'm hoping that this year finally brings me some balance. I crave it. I am a Libra after all. :)

2006 also managed to put me into a position with friends that I had never been in before, and don't care to ever visit again. In the interest of confidentiality, I won't go into details, but the people involved know who they are. To them, I'd like to say that I never intended for things to play out the way they did. I never intended to hurt any person or harm any relationship. I know that I did, and I am sorry for that. Though I cannot take responsibility for everything that happened, I can take responsibility for my own actions. I don't recognize or like the person I was when I did or said certain things, but I believe I learned a lot about myself through this experience. Perhaps I thought that I was insignificant and that my actions would never have any effect on anyone. Maybe I learned just what I am capable of. In any case, I am in a completely different head space now, and I hope to say honestly that I will never return to the dark place I was in. I've made some changes, and they weren't easy, but they were right. I feel like things are finally at peace again, and I don't intend on disturbing that. To the other parties, I don't know if I can still call you friends, but I hope you will accept my wishes for a very happy 2007.

Self-reflection was a running theme in 2006. Like I mentioned already, I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned about some of my flaws, and I learned more about what is really important to me. Unfortunatly, the price of this is that I feel like I aged much more than just one year in 2006. I turned 27 this year, but sometimes I feel like I'm pushing 40. I feel pressure to be at a place in my life that I haven't reached yet, and may possibly never reach. Just because I have more gray hairs each day doesn't mean that I have to know where I want to be in 10 years. Or even 5 years. I don't know if I want to buy a house. I don't know if I want to get married or have kids. I don't know if I want a new job or new friends, or a new wardrobe. I just don't know. But almost worse than not knowing, is not knowing what to tell people when they ask me. "I don't know," never seems to be the right answer. Everyone has solutions for me, all good ones, but all different, and possibly all wrong for me. These people who offer advice mean well, and I appreciate their concern for my well-being. They love me. But they need to love the me that doesn't know what she wants to do next weekend, let alone next year.

They say that hope springs eternal. Though I've had moments where nearly all hope seems lost, I'd like to believe that this old adage is true. What I do know for sure is that the hope a person feels for the future has to come from inside (how's that for a fortune cookie moment?). I don't make New Year's resolutions. I think it's silly to put all of your good intentions into one day and when you inevitably get overwhelmed and fail, to give up your self-improvement efforts entirely. I make promises to myself continuously throughout the year, and I find my success rate to be much higher than it would be otherwise. Having said that, I do have one goal for this year. It is something that I am always working on anyway, but may have lost sight of a little bit in 2006. My goal is to never lose hope. It would be so easy for me to just give up and let the bad thoughts and feelings take over my life; to neglect my friends and family who only want the best for me; to never leave the house because what good could possibly happen to me out in the world? But what kind of a life would that be? It wouldn't be any kind of life at all. Not one that I would want to lead anyway. So my goal is to stay positive, keep my chin up, always look on the bright ... well, you get the idea.

I hope this post hasn't gotten anybody too depressed. Sometimes it just really helps to accept that fact that things can be shitty at times, and to really examine what it is that's shitty and how it can be helped or changed. But the flip side of that coin is that you also have to realize that things aren't always so shitty. 2006 also has held some very wonderful and magical moments for me, as does every year. I've had fun with friends. My family is happy and healthy. I have a great job and a great place to live. When I stop to count my blessings, it makes it infinitely easier to envision myself keeping the hope alive in 2007.

Happy New Year, everyone.