because blue is bouncy, and things stick to ugly people

I submit for your enjoyment ...

How does this woman still have a job?
Occasionally in the mornings, I listen to Nine FM on the way to work. I don't particularly care for the music, or the morning "personalities," but considering the mass of crap that passes as morning shows, it's one hundred times better than most of what's out there. Plus, they only have one-minute-long commercial breaks. :) Yeah, who am I kidding? That's really the only reason I listen. But I digress. The morning "personalities" I am confronted with on this station are Steve and Joey. Steve has been an integral part (well, a part anyway) of Chicago radio for quite a long time now, and if you think about it for a minute, you probably know his last name. But Joey. Aaaahh, Joey. She is ... well ... maybe I should cut her a little slack here and say she SOUNDS ... well ... in a word ... dumb. Not counting her I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on laugh, and her lack of intelligent responses to the things her cohost says, here is a list of the best (meaning worst) Joey-isms I have heard in the past two weeks or so:
1) "You're ugly, I'm blue, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." Actually, Joey, it goes, "I'm rubber, you're ..." Oh, nevermind.
2) In a news story about Oprah, referring to her not once, but twice, as Madonna.
3) In the news story about John Kerry's botched Bush "joke," referring to him not once, but twice as John McCain.
4) In a story about a corrupt clergyman (which was just this morning, actually), quoting him as saying he was "sexually immortal." Steve made a joke about this one, but I'm not sure that Joey ever caught on to what exactly she had said.
I have come to the conclusion that even I, the word-stumbler-over, no-quick-response-haver that I am, would make a better morning cohost than our Miss Joey. Not that I'm complaining or anything. At the very least, she gives me a laugh (intended or not) every morning. Sexually immortal indeed.

Whatnot
There are two people who I see nearly every day who have the unexplained habit of adding "and whatnot" after almost everything they say. I'm not sure who picked up the habit from who (or is it whom?), but it's one of those little verbal tics, like saying "like" too much, thatreally tends to get on one's nerves! Here's an exaggerated fictional conversation to illustrate.
Person A: What did you do this weekend?
Person B: I went grocery shopping on Saturday because I needed some eggs and bread and whatnot. Then I stopped at the Post Office because I had to mail my bills and whatnot. I came home and ate dinner and whatnot while I watched the news and whatnot on TV.
Person A: Yeah? What about Sunday?
Person B: Sunday I went to visit my Mom and whatnot at her house and whatnot, and we took her dog and whatnot for a walk and whatnot ...
Seriously. Driving me up the wall ... and whatnot.

Why don't you try it too?
I used the word "circuitous" in a sentence today. Go me!