festering pit of negativity

That's me.

I feel irritated by everyone around me. I feel slighted and unwanted by the people I try to reach out to. I feel like no one is listening to me. But most of the time I don't even have anything to say.

Work is fine but I don't have any friends here anymore. People seem to tolerate my presence, rather than enjoy it. The apartment is beginning to shape up, but being in that place means that I'm alone. I enjoy being alone when my time is peppered with other social activities, but not when there is no end in sight. It's not a good thing to sleep for four hours in the middle of the day for no reason other than I have nothing else to do. And the social interactions I have had as of late have felt forced and unnatural.

It's not that I'm lacking things to look forward to. Summer is about to begin and soon the city will be chock full of activity. But somehow it isn't bring me any joy like it's supposed to - like it has every summer before. I just can't seem to connect.

Gonna post this now, but most likely it will be deleted in a day or two after I start to feel embarrassed for sharing so much.