starting over again

Once again, I am here to write my yearly wrap-up and wish everyone who reads this a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year. Even though I may not be the best at keeping in touch with people, I may not be winning any "World's Best Friend" awards, and I tend to stick my foot in my mouth more often than both my foot and my mouth are comfortable with, I sincerely hope that everyone is doing well and continues to do well (better, even!) as we enter into this new year.

So.

2007 was ... it was ... well, it's over, anyway. Around this time last year I was saying goodbye and good riddance to a nasty 2006 and hoping that 2007 would bring me the happiness I was so desperately in search of. In retrospect, I think I was putting unrealistic expectations on the poor year and there was no way it could live up to them. I was like one of those parents who pressure the younger kids to be just like their overachieving older siblings. "2007, why can't you be more like 2001? Look what 2001 accomplished in only a year? Or 1997? 1997 was so successful. Even 2004 pulled it out in the end! You need to get your ass in gear, son!" Poor 2007 just cracked under the pressure.

It started out all well and good. I was planning on moving into a place of my own, I was going to start a new medication that sounded very promising, I was looking forward to making some positive changes. And I tried, I really did. But things just seemed to fall short of my expectations left and right.

I did move into a modest one-bedroom apartment in Ravenswood. And I was comfortable there for a few months until all of the little inconveniences of the place really started to grate on my nerves. I realized that while I loved the neighborhood and the proximity to several of my friends, I hated (HATED!) the apartment itself. I won't bore you with details of why, exactly, it is so hated, but I have once again decided to move. Even though that might mean I have to drop my couch over the balcony to its death, it will be worth it to be out of the place that has sucked away all of my motivation and will to live. (Drama, anyone?)

Oh, and drama there was! A "situation" with a so-called friend of mine led to some drama that it seemed I was never there to witness. I discovered with little uncertainty that someone with whom I had struggled over several years to develop a friendship, actually thought very little of me and she decided to take the coward's approach to communicating this fact. She managed to single me out among a group of equals and make it known that I was the expendable one, and she didn't even have to say a word to me. The second-hand drama came into play when a very good friend of mine took my side and spoke for me when I wasn't there to do it myself. The only resolution to this problem, it seemed, was in me removing myself from the situation, which I did happily. Not all that glitters is gold, or so they say.

On the disease front, I started a new medicine, Enbrel, which worked splendidly for quite some time. Until it didn't. And the Pain has returned. I am still taking the Enbrel injections, which do the lion's share of the work, but I'm also now back on a small dose of Prednisone, and still take ibuprofen daily. I guess you could say I'm "managing" it, because instead of the disease controlling me, I feel like I am in control of the disease. But in a perfect world (hah!!), Enbrel would be enough, ibuprofen would just be for headaches, and I wouldn't have to see another bottle of Prednisone ever again!

Oh, and speaking of headaches ...

The crowning glory of 2007, one of the absolute worst things I have ever gone through in my life, The Apocalyptic Brain-Explosions of June '07!!! Since discussing this particular period of time tends to put me into a very agitated state, I am going to keep this short and sweet. Worst pain I've ever felt. Averaged every-other-day for 2-3 weeks in June. Missed 4 days of work. One trip to the ER, and one to an unsympathetic GP. Bottles of meds. Not a day has gone by since then that I haven't feared having another one of these attacks. And I still don't understand them. No one seems to have any answers.

So that's that. There's all the bad stuff in a few paragraphs. It feels good to get it out. It's taken a toll on me and it's sometimes a struggle to keep myself from getting buried under all the negative emotions. All the "why me"s and the "when will things get better"s and the "when's my turn"s. But I don't want you to think that this year has been all doom and gloom. And I personally don't want to forget all of the really great and amazing and wonderful things that have happened this year as well. So let's move on to the good stuff.

My good friend Kristi had a little baby girl this year. She is the prettiest thing I've ever seen. And shortly after that, I was given the honor of becoming the Godmother of this beautiful little girl. I know in this day and age, that doesn't mean very much, but it means a heckuva lot to me. Call me old-fashioned. :) (See, I'm even using smileys!) My good friend Nora also found out this year that she is going to be a mommy. She and her husband are 'spectin' their first bundle of joy in February, and I can't wait to see his adorable face. And this summer, my friend Mo got married and I was there to see that happen as well. I am so happy for her and her new family.

I took a most excellent trip to Miami early this year (man, it seems like so long ago!), which was I think the highlight of the year. I was so needing that trip, and looking back on it now still makes me smile and wish I was still there. Especially now that it's negative three billion degrees outside.

And Harry Potter! This was a banner year for Mr. Potter (and Ms. Rowling), what with the final book coming out, and the 5th movie in the series. Both of which were excellent.

And, of course, how can I forget my ten year high school class reunion? I did write a whole post about it after all. Just so you won't forget it either. ;)

Both of my parents retired this year, which is great for them. But it also means I probably won't be seeing as much of them as I was before. I won't get to see my dad at work every day anymore. And my weekly visits won't even be as regular since they plan to spend a lot of time travelling now that they have so much free time. Good for them. All I can say is, I'm very jealous.

So 2007 definitely had some warm-fuzzy moments. And of course it is these that make it all worthwhile.

So in the spirit of not drawing this entry out any further, I say here's to 2008 and all the warm-fuzzies we can handle before we throw up from all the warmth and fuzziness. However, if 2008 decides it wants to drop out of college and move to Portland to sell hand-knitted arm-warmers, that's cool too.