a new perspective

I did some reflecting on New Year's Eve after returning home from the party circuit, and I came to a new conclusion about myself. Something I've never really considered before, but makes a lot of sense.

I think I want to be single.

I was watching some crappy movie a few weeks ago, in which a father imparts the wisdom to his daughter that people have the love life that they want to have. Meaning, you create the situation in which you are most comfortable. Now there are some serious holes in this reasoning, I know, but it does have a grain of truth in it. And when applied to my life, it fits. I remain single because that is how I am comfortable, it's what I know how to do, and it gives me room to find what makes me happy without pinning all my hopes and dreams on someone else. If I was seriously unhappy, and needed that relationship to feel complete or fulfilled, then I would have it. I would be trying a lot harder to find someone. And even if I was failing, I would still be going on a lot more dates, flirting with a lot more people, and just generally putting myself out there a lot more. And the truth is, I'm not doing any of those things. I've never signed up with an Internet dating site, I don't particularly like set-ups, and after numerous failures (and the conclusion that I repeatedly pick the wrong people), I resolved quite some time ago that I would no longer ask anyone out. I wanted to let them come to me. I reverted back to the old-fashioned idea of the male as the pursuer. I figured that since I always picked the wrong people, maybe a person who pick me would be right. But ... well ... that didn't really work either. Not to mention was totally lazy.

So I guess what I'm saying is, my passive approach to dating and relationships speaks volumes about what it is I really want. I'm not willing to work for it, so it must not be that important to me, right? Anyway, assuming I don't completely abandon this new way of thinking in, like, a week or something, you will see a whole lot less whining on this website in the year to come.