car love

I feel like I have a brand new car.

Well, not quite. But I feel like I have a slightly nicer car than I had before, even though it's actually the same car. Just better. Let me explain. My car is old. And when cars get old, things start to happen to them, just like people. The thing that was happening to my car (well, ONE of the things that was happening) was that the windows were fogging up WAY TOO MUCH. On a cold winter morning, I could not escape the fog on my windows. I tried every possible combination of settings on my heater, but to no avail. The defroster would clear the windshield enough for me to see out of, but the side windows would get completely fogged up, all the way to the back of the car, and then of course that fog would freeze to the window and become frost, which is not so easily removed when you're driving down the highway at 80 mph. Changing lanes and turning became not only difficult, but downright dangerous. It started doing this last year or the year before, and was getting progressively worse each winter. So I asked my Dad, cause he's a Dad and just inherently knows more about these kinds of things than I do, and he suggested I stop breathing when I'm in the car. Or build myself a garage. Seriously. These were the things he said to me. But when I told him that half the city does not park in garages, and I'm pretty sure I don't breathe any more than any of them, yet the other cars I see on the highway have delightlfully clear windows, we decided to explore other possibilities. In a sudden brain wave, he said he thought maybe it was the thermostat stuck in the open position, and that I should take it in to the shop at the dealership. So I did. And lo and behold, I do not have to stop breathing after all because it was indeed the thermostat.

So anyway, I dropped the car off on Saturday and they checked it out. They said they had the part in stock, but they'd need to keep the car until Monday. Ummmm, okay, whatever. But they had a loaner car for me to use until then. And let me tell you, driving a car with an automatic transmission and power steering is living in the lap of luxury. I felt utterly lazy because the car was doing all the work and all I had to do was sit behind the wheel and pretend to steer. However, my experience driving this unfamiliar car for three days was quite ... funny. First of all, I forgot to grab my I-Pass out of my car before I left it at the dealership (not to mention my apartment keys, but that's another story), so when I drove home, I had to go through the regular toll booth and pay in cash. So I got up to the booth, rolled down my window and had my hand hanging out with money in it, when suddenly, the little blue light came on, the gate opened and the toll-booth-lady waved me through! What?! This car has an I-Pass? Where is it? I don't see it! I opened every compartment I could find looking for the thing (which I do not recommend while actually driving), including the glove box, where I only found some papers and a mostly-gone roll of toilet paper. Hm. This car has an invisible I-Pass* ... but ... um ... doesn't have a horn.** Wait, what? How can a car not have a horn? I swear I looked everywhere on that steering wheel and did not find a horn, only cruise control and an airbag. So my weird little automatic-everything loaner car had an invisible I-Pass but had no horn. And I couldn't read the spedometer because it was digital and placed right behind the top edge of the steering wheel in my line of sight. And the wheel wasn't adjustable, so I had to continuously peek over the top of it in order to make sure I wasn't speeding, which I almost always was. And I couldn't figure out how to adjust the bass on the radio until Monday evening. But about that radio? I swear to Jeebus it had some sort of mechanism that adjusted the volume up when the car was moving, and down when it was standing still! Magic awesomeness!

So after living the good life in a weird little automatic-everything loaner car for a couple days, it was time to give it up and get my own car back. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know if the problem was going to be fixed, but honestly, I kinda missed the little bastard. So I picked it up, and 1) it heated up and the windows didn't fog up!!! 2) they had washed it!!! and 3) the radio didn't work anymore. *** I went to my parents' for dinner that night, and my Dad changed the bulb in the headlight for me, which had gone out weeks ago, and I'd bought a replacement but couldn't figure out how to get the old one out (in my defense, Dad had some serious difficulty with this as well). Then I filled up the tank and went on my way.

So I drove home last night in a car that was clean, and warm, and had clear windows, two headlights and a full tank of gas. Aside from the radio thing, I was a very happy girl.



* Upon further investigation (meaning my Dad asked the guy at the dealership when he called), we discovered that they affix all of their loaner cars with an I-Pass in the grille of the car. Again, magic awesomeness!

** I think I was accidentally on crack on Saturday night, because Monday morning, I found the horn. But they made it seriously difficult to find. In the center of the steering wheel was the silver Honda logo. Below that, stamped in the black vinyl was the airbag label. And below THAT, nearly unnoticeable, was a teeny tiny horn symbol.

*** Um, yeah, the radio actually does work, I'm just a moron.