a new perspective

I did some reflecting on New Year's Eve after returning home from the party circuit, and I came to a new conclusion about myself. Something I've never really considered before, but makes a lot of sense.

I think I want to be single.

I was watching some crappy movie a few weeks ago, in which a father imparts the wisdom to his daughter that people have the love life that they want to have. Meaning, you create the situation in which you are most comfortable. Now there are some serious holes in this reasoning, I know, but it does have a grain of truth in it. And when applied to my life, it fits. I remain single because that is how I am comfortable, it's what I know how to do, and it gives me room to find what makes me happy without pinning all my hopes and dreams on someone else. If I was seriously unhappy, and needed that relationship to feel complete or fulfilled, then I would have it. I would be trying a lot harder to find someone. And even if I was failing, I would still be going on a lot more dates, flirting with a lot more people, and just generally putting myself out there a lot more. And the truth is, I'm not doing any of those things. I've never signed up with an Internet dating site, I don't particularly like set-ups, and after numerous failures (and the conclusion that I repeatedly pick the wrong people), I resolved quite some time ago that I would no longer ask anyone out. I wanted to let them come to me. I reverted back to the old-fashioned idea of the male as the pursuer. I figured that since I always picked the wrong people, maybe a person who pick me would be right. But ... well ... that didn't really work either. Not to mention was totally lazy.

So I guess what I'm saying is, my passive approach to dating and relationships speaks volumes about what it is I really want. I'm not willing to work for it, so it must not be that important to me, right? Anyway, assuming I don't completely abandon this new way of thinking in, like, a week or something, you will see a whole lot less whining on this website in the year to come.

Reflections on 2008

My favorite new things about 2008:

- New Prez Obama!
- New apartment!
- New car!
- New job!
- New babies (NOT MINE!! Shoutouts to Dex and Olivia. Love you kiddos.)

Some fave experiences of 2008:

- Seeing a friend's shocked face at her surprise baby shower
- Cuatro de Mayo at El Mariachi with margaritas the size of your head
- Going to the Sex and the City movie with the girls
- Visiting a friend in the hospital while she was IN LABOR!!
- Being almost able to see Stevie Wonder on the jumbo screen if I stood on my tippy-toes at the Taste of Chicago
- 4th of July barbecue with a good friend's family
- Baton Club - transvestites are awesome
- Getting drenched to the bone while attempting to watch Blues Brothers in the park
- Lollapalooza - and seeing Gogol Bordello twice in one day - insanity, I tell you
- Celebrating a good friend being 5 years cancer-free
- Celebrating my Mom being 5 years cancer-free
- Mars Cheese Castle!!! And Jelly Belly side trip!! And the pyramid house!
- Roller Derby and lots of Jack Daniels
- Having a good old fashioned pajama party for my birthday
- Our fantastically awesome Gogol Bordello Halloween costumes
- Kristkindlmarket on the day after Thanksgiving
- A whole weekend of baking Christmas cookies with my Mom
- My little bro unexpectedly (to me) coming home for the holidays

Some of the not-so-good parts of 2008 that should be reflected upon:

- My Grandma passed away this year - she was 90 and had a long, full life, but she will be missed
- My never-ending health issues
- Car debacle - the century-old water mains of Chicago had it in for me this year
- Recession - even the cost of the washers/dryers in my building went up
- Blagojevich - and we were just getting used to being proud to be from Illinois ...
- Several of my good friends moved away
- Packing up and moving AGAIN - not to mention apartment hunting in sub-zero temperatures

I don't make New Year's resolutions, but if I did I would resolve to:

- Meet a lot of new people
- Think of ways to save money and plan on taking a trip abroad, maybe England or Ireland
- Learn to cook and try new healthy recipes (already started this one and made a positively yummy salmon dish the other day)
- Get my apartment in shape because I plan to stay there for some time

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope 2009 is fantastic, especially to all 2 of you who read this blog! ;)

gotta love winter in Chicago

It seems to me that the past tense of the word "snow" should be "snew." Blow -> blew, grow -> grew, so why not snow -> snew?

Anyway, yesterday it snew quite a bit. After work, I left the parking lot at 4:30, and arrived home ... at 9:00. A few minutes after, actually, since I had to park a couple blocks away. It took me 2 1/2 hours just to go the ten miles to the Des Plaines Oasis, where I stopped to grab a slice of pizza and take a little breather. So glad I did, too, because the rest of the way after that was much easier. So if you subtract the half-hour or so that I spent at the Oasis, it took me 4 hours to make a trip that should have taken about an hour. FOUR HOURS!! It's those storms that begin mid-afternoon that really kill ya. The trucks don't have time to get out there and make any headway with the plowing before it's suddenly rush hour and there's nothing they can do anyway. On my way home I saw a grand total of 1 truck on the road ... and it was plowing the shoulder.

a gripey morning

This morning I was totally frustrated with the world. Well, with my very small world, anyway. It all started when I couldn't get up the hill ...

(This is the part where everything gets all fuzzy and we flash back to earlier today, with my voice narrating in the background. After a short musical interlude of course.)

The Ravenswood tracks go right through my neighborhood, so all of the E/W streets have to pass under them, including the side street that I take just about every day while going to work. Since Ravenswood Ave. follows the tracks, in some parts it is divided into a lane on each side. Where this happens, the cross-streets usually have a stop sign on either side of the underpass. This is the case on my normally trusty route to work. Well. The genius politicians in my dear city decided that this year they weren't going to salt the side streets in order to save money. (Can you see where this is going?) Having had a bit of weather over the last few days, the ice is beginning to build up. When you're driving on a flat surface, this is tolerable. However, the road slopes downward to go under the Ravenswood tracks, and back up to go back out. And I believe I mentioned the stop signs? The first one, not a problem. It's the one on the way back up that's the killer. If there's no traffic, I can safely roll through it to keep up my momentum and get up the relatively-tiny-but-covered-in-ice hill. But today, of course, there was a car waiting to go through, so I had to come to a COMPLETE stop at the sign. And when I tried to get going again? Well, let's just say that the wheels were on my side but the rest of the car had other ideas. Namely, not moving. Luckily, there was nobody behind me, so I backed down under the tracks again and tried to make it up with a "running start." It took three attempts at this before I finally made it through. Not a great start to the day. So. I think I'm going to be changing my route tomorrow.

Anyway, this got me thinking about why there's not enough money to salt properly, and where the money is going instead, and why they keep raising prices on things (Parking! Public transportation!) and yet we see little to no increase of service. Is it because of the recession? Is it because of the Olympic bid? Is it because of political corruption? Which, of course, opened up another can of thought-worms. I wasn't able to listen to any radio station this morning without hearing about how Illinois is by far the most corrupt state, according to the FBI, and how our dear governor is a sociopathic asshat. It all just made me want to move, but not enough to make me, you know, actually MOVE. I just wanted to. And I was grumpy. And now I'm grumbling to you about it because you're a good listener.

I know all of this is a pretty lengthy way of saying winter sucks, and politicians suck, and recession sucks. But hey, you asked. Oh wait ...

in case you were going to ask

On the road this morning, I was driving behind a Jeep that's top was covered only by sheets of plastic. On the back, the spare tire cover said in large brown all-caps letters, "HELL YES IT'S COLD."

Christmas Heidi style

In these tough economic times, it only makes sense to try to cut back a little bit this Christmas. Luckily, things have been working out pretty well on that front.

First off, my extended family, who get together every Christmas Day, collectively decided not to do the adult grab-bag gift exchange this year. I'm a little sad about this because I actually enjoy Christmas shopping and picking out gifts for people, but then I keep reminding myself that it's saving me about $30. So that's good. As for the kids in that same group, I have never been expected to give them gifts, but most years I try to do a little something for them. It is usually something homemade, or an inexpensive trinket. This year, however, my idea of some personalized candies fell through, so I am making the tough decision to not get them anything. I would bake them some cookies (and still might change my mind), but my Mom has also decided to scale back, and she will be giving the kids either some tasty baked goods or popcorn-ball snowmen. Our Christmas party will be a little bit different this year without the massive gift exchange portion of the night, but I am sure the spirit will be there all the same.

As for my immediate family, I have decided this year to do a photo collage project for each of them (Mom, Dad, brother). The only thing that actually needs to be purchased for these gifts would be the frames, and I ended up getting some inexpensive ones from Target. Score! I am super excited about these gifts especially, because making them is going to be just as much fun as giving them. And that is saying a lot because I am fully expecting tears on Christmas morning.

What about everyone else on my list, you ask?? COOKIES!! The last few years, I have baked about a metric ton of cookies, and this year will be no different. Recession or no recession, cookies are a must-have for me. I think I've decided on 8 different varieties. Some of which are old favorites I've made a thousand times before, some are newer favorites from the past couple years, and some are recipes I've never tried before. My Mom and I are getting together this Saturday for a bake-a-palooza in her kitchen and I could not be more excited. TO BAKE! Yes, you can call me a nerd if you want. I don't mind. :) But chances are, if you know me, you will have the opportunity to try some of my home-baked yummies at some point this Christmas season.

So that is my grand plan for saving a little moolah this holiday season. No mall madness for me. No trendy gadgets, expensive doodads, bingle balls, whofoo fluff, goowho gums, whiffer bloofs, wuzzle wuz, snaffer snoof, dang-donglers, bizilbiz or wums!

to tree or not to tree?

Christmas is my absolute favoritest of holidays. (Look, I just made up a new word!) But every year, I am encountered with a dilemma. Do I decorate, or do I not? I spend Christmas Eve and Day (and sometimes the following day) at my parents' house, and they do the whole tree/decorations/twinkle lights thing, so every year I ask myself if it is worth the time and effort to decorate my own apartment.

Three Christmases ago, I lived with a roommate, and he went out and bought us a live tree, which we set up in the living room. I dragged out all the decorations I had collected during my years of working in a gift shop, and our place ended up looking pretty festive. But the next year, no tree, and minimal decorations. (Perhaps the lack of tree was due to the fact that after the first Christmas, we were remiss in our duties to dispose of the tree in a timely manner. Our eventual tree disposal method involved several garbage bags, a small saw, and my roommate's trunk.) That was the last Christmas I had a roommate, so when the next one rolled around, I was even less inclined to get a tree because I'd have to do the whole thing myself. And I lived in a 4th floor walk-up. Alone. With no good spot to set up a tree anyway. That year I didn't even bring out my pink Rubbermaid boxes full of decorations. As a matter of fact, those pink Rubbermaid boxes of decorations spent that Christmas in my family's basement. So very sad, it was.

But this year. THIS YEAR, I am living in an apartment that I am enamored with. Yes, I do still live alone, but it's much easier to imagine decorating when you love the place you live. I have a spot in my living room that I think would be perfect for a tree. It would require minimal rearranging of furniture (just a chair and an end table), and would be out of the way, yet in a highly visible location. I would still have to lug it up many, many stairs (What is it with me and the 4th floor?) and would probably need help with that and with setting it up in the stand. But this year I am seriously considering going all out with the decorations. Even though nobody will be seeing them but me. :)

As a side note, my apologies to Thanksgiving, which tends to get the shaft most years. If it makes Thanksgiving fans any happier, I am keeping my pumpkins and gourds on display through the end of November. :)

afterglow

I'm not going to say anything here about yesterday's election results except this: Congratulations, President-Elect Barack Obama! Your victory has made me proud to be an American.

In other much more important news, I just overheard someone say this: "I found Dad a cute vest for Christmas." There are just so many things wrong with that sentence.